Well?
Voice clip from a Xhaiiiia stream

#animated #animation #kheil

FUUUUCK!! I HATE IT-O'S cereal

poisoning my entire island

遊んでました（コラボしてほしい）

The @merriam-webster.com Word of the Day is BRAZEN.

Place a car company into the blanks to make a synonym for the given word.

BAN
_ _ _ BI _

BRAZEN
_ _ _ AC _ OUS

EXTRICATE
_ ISL _ _ _ _

FACTUAL
_ _ C _ _ _ TE

REVIVAL
RE _ A _ _ _ _ _ CE

www.tumblr.com/foldedchip/8...
A adorable piece with Sophie reading Rocky a bedtime story. A cute drawing courtesy of foldedchip on tumblr!
#lackadaisy #lackadaisyrocky #rockyrickaby #lackadaisysophie

"Oh hi! This is how you do an S-spin in Tetris" - Snivy

Parapa the Rapper doing Linked In Park "One thing I don't know why it doesn't even matter how hard you try"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND done.

Raziel the Prince of Dorkness #ralsei

Knowing how many people and their families are lined up to watch the most miserable, experimental, "fuck it we ball" episode in the series is going to be interesting.

Shining a spotlight on logos of the past. Discover more at logo-archive.org

#logos #branding #symbols #logoarchive

www.deviantart.com/jbordddd/art...
Love the pre fight energy this has, it’s like those wrestling or boxing movies where the coach motives the fighter. Love the intensity of their expressions as well
#lackadaisy #lackadaisyrocky #rockyrickaby #lackadaisyfreckle

an annoyed man reading a magazine called Who The Hell Are All These People?

I don't know what steps of recovery need to be taken nor what should be done to unlearn this, but holy fuck does this parasite of an ideology need to be executed. I want to be human. I want to be alive. I want to feel a pulse, damnit. I want to live.

End tangent. Fuck feeling artificial.

I've taught myself that I shouldn't be human, and the only way I can gain respect and really matter in this world is ONLY by the things that I produce. And THAT will be the reason why I die if I don't fix this.

Which brings me back to my first post in this long-ass thread. This mindset has been fucking killing me in the most literal sense possible. It's not a problem with anyone else other than me. I'm the only one setting myself at a standard where perfection isn't enough.

It's hard to try and give myself the benefit of the doubt when you know that you gave more previously, despite how much it hurt to get there. And each and every time you exceed an expectation, you set the quota higher. The minimum effort of today is yesterday's maximum.

Is that true? Probably not. Is it hard to think otherwise? Yeah. I'm expecting to land on the moon, and if I do, I'm mad I didn't land on Mars. This mindset is more toxic than perfectionism and I hate it.

It feels like that I wrote myself in a corner. I believe that people expect me to be a firework that continues to go off, presenting new colors, shapes, and larger and larger sounds. Someone that always has his list of catchphrases and quips ready on a dime and gives kisses with a quarter.

That's one thing that I envy with people. Having spaces to talk to where it doesn't feel like you need to battle for attention or feeling like in order to talk to someone you need to come up to them with something unique each time.

I don't know why that feels like such a hard concept to understand. I don't know if it's because I'm too used to needing to wear masks or growing up never being in spaces where I can find others that share the same likes that I do or if I'm just too used to having to be ready to run.

I'm left looking at people that feel comfortable in their skin. People that have hobbies that don't need to turn into pitches. People that have downtime to relax and meet up with others. People that have talking points that are so... normal. Normal, regular people.

And because I don't see the human in me, I don't know where I want to be. I don't really know what that level of independence is or what joy is outside of work. I always felt alien in social spaces because there really isn't an objective or output or task to do.

I have a hard time seeing the human in me. I only see the output I produce.
If I'm on stage, I'm not a human, I'm either an actor or MC. If I'm behind a desk, I'm not a human, I'm a commentator. If I'm doing a podcast, I'm not a human, I'm a talking head.

I don't care how much something kills me if it means that people are happy in the end. Just because a heartbeat flatlines doesn't mean that the soul dies. But I know that this shouldn't be how I view myself. I know that I am the only one that sees myself in such a way.

If I need to go without sleep to create a graphic, then you bet your ass I'll do that. If I need to skip a meal or two so I can have a video ready, then you bet your ass I'll do that. I will ignore my body if it means making something that I think someone else will enjoy.

But the hard part though is that this mindset continues to age, where I don't give a fuck how long I live nor if what I do kills me. Anyone that I've worked with or have been friends with for years can easily vouch that I am not afraid to hurt myself to deliver something.

For me, I want to help build amazing things and see how many memories can come from it. That has always been my goal since a kid. I don't give a fuck about how much I make or how much fame it brings me. I just want to create things that people find interesting and can take away from.

Don't get me wrong, I love what I have done. That's not the problem. The problem is ultimately what drives me to live. That is a question I'm frankly scared of because I don't have a true given answer to it.

That doesn't change the fact that I still continue to question what the fuck I'm doing with myself and where the fuck I want to go or where I want to be or if anything matters in the end. I still feel entirely lost and don't know what is really worth it to me.