Petition: Cap Academy Trust CEO Pay and Protect School Funding for Children Conduct a value-for-money review of academy trusts; give Local Authorities greater powers to intervene where leadership and standards fail; introduce a CEO pay cap aligned with headteacher pay, capped...

Petition: Cap Academy Trust CEO Pay and Protect School Funding for Children petition.parliament.uk/petitions/76...

Could a digital twin make you into a 'superworker'? Firms say digital twins make staff more productive, but are they a potential legal minefield?

Depends if they have been exposed to radiation, and they bite you.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Was it Rod, Jane and Feddy?

Pope says 'tyrants' speech was not aimed at Trump The pontiff says his remarks have been misinterpreted after a spat with the US president.

It was 'Trump Adjacent".
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Titanic life jacket sells for £670,000 at auction in Wiltshire It is the only life jacket from the Titanic to be sold at auction in 114 years.

I bet it woiuld have got even more on the night!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Pokémon cards: Rising values spark smash and grab crime spree Small shops across the UK are being targeted by thieves stealing collectibles worth thousands of pounds.

Gotta catch em all!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Fire services were called to a school in West Dunbartonshire after a pupil set a laptop alight, following a TikTok trend for short-circuiting the devices.

Luckily the fire was contained and didn’t spread to a pile of nearby Kindles.

#jokedump

An ostrich escaped from a fenced enclosure at an animal themed cafe in Thailand, and ran along a busy highway.

It was later returned to its owner after being caught by a Coyote using a giant anvil, and an ACME Rocket Sled.

#jokedump

The Artemis II mission was nearly scrapped while orbiting the Earth on Friday when the toilet stopped working.

The world held its breath, which is nothing compared to what the crew had to hold.

#jokedump

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg is crafting an interactive AI version of himself to connect with staff, by training an avatar with his image, voice, and mannerisms.

Employees that have tested it say it is just like him, only more human.

#jokedump

An activist, and member of Canada's Parliament, announced that the new acceptable term for the gay community is MMIGS2SLLGBTQQIA+.

Which is not just a mouth full to say, it is also a very bad hand at Scrabble

#jokedump

A Scots Reform candidate grew up in a castle which has links to Shakespeare’s Macbeth.

So Nigel Farage better watch his back!

#jokedump

A Scots Reform candidate claims to know about the tourism industry because he 'grew up in a castle'.

By that token King Charles must be a regular Thomas Cook

#jokedump

A man has won an original Pablo Picasso painting worth more than €1m.

He is said to be as happy as a dog with two tails, a cubic head, and both its eyes on the same side of its face.

#jokedump

The Sun Always Shines on TV. Well maybe angle the screen AWAY from the window Morten. You PLUM.

To think, all of the problems in Stephen Speilberg's "Poltergeist" could have been avoided it Carol Anne's parents had just reduced her screen time.

The Curling Rock League aims to bring the energy of professional wrestling and electric atmosphere of darts to the rink with teams having ‘walk-on’ music.

Scotland could have “Cold as Ice”, Switzerland, “Slip sliding Away”, and Canada “Invisible Touch”.

#jokedump

Mark Zuckerberg has hinted that layoffs at Facebook are coming due to AI.

There was a time when the only AI you got on Facebook was the noise you made when you saw the photos of your friend's wife in her bikini on holiday… Ay… Aye!

#jokedump

The SNP has said it will deliver a “revolution in childcare”.

I still remember when a revolution in childcare meant an extra push on the park roundabout.

#jokedump

The government has said new laws will make it easier to cancel subscriptions and get refunds for unwanted auto-renewals.

Which is bad news for teenage Babestations fans, but good news for their parents.

#jokedump

The government has said new laws will make it easier to cancel subscriptions and get refunds for unwanted auto-renewals.

Which is great news for those of us who are still paying those exorbitant Tuffty Club Fees.

#jokedump

A hungry pup sprinted to victory in Musselburgh's annual Corgi Derby, spurred on to the finish line by the promise of a hot dog.

However, he was very disappointed to find it was only a sausage, and not a sexy young mate.

#jokedump

Proposals to turn a former south of Scotland pub into a family home have been approved, after developers successfully argued that two other pubs were "more than adequate" provision for the town, so long as Paul Gascoigne doesn’t move there.

#jokedump

Trump and Israel threatened to destroy Iran's infrastructure such as railways and power plants.

The Islamic Republic finally backed down when they realised it meant they were going to put Nigel Farage in charge.

#jokedump

The boss of the group that owns John Lewis was handed a 21% increase in basic wage last year.

You know what they say, “never knowingly under paid”.

#jokedump

Ringo Starr has revealed that he stays young and fresh by consuming lots of broccoli.

If John Lennon was still here, I bet he would tell him to “give peas a chance”.

#jokedump

Caribbean Airlines confirmed a passenger on a flight from Jamaica to New York gave birth just as the flight was landing at John F. Kennedy Airport.

ICE agents were called as the new arrival had no passport, no offer of employment, and refused to answer any questions.

#jokedump

The growing popularity of weight loss jabs is expected to increase Britain’s divorce rate, as people shed pounds of unwanted fat, by getting rid of their partners.

#jokedump

Scotland has recorded its warmest temperatures of the year, just two days after Storm Dave brought snow to parts of the country.

The Met Office describes this as Pizza Weather, all Four Seasons in one.

#jokedump

A man has been arrested on suspicion of theft after about £200,000 raised towards a scouts trip to Canada was stolen.

The Police believe it was an inside Bob-A-Job.

#jokedump