“Edmund, you’re exacerbating my hay fever again. I did warn you! You see the rolled end of my shawl in my left hand? I borrowed Constable Smith’s truncheon for just this eventuality…”
#GirlsOwnCC

Thank you. He was an exceptionally wise man - well, I think so anyway. He served in Mesopotamia in the Great War. Whilst there he swum the Tigress, and taught himself Arabic using an old French/Arabic dictionary he found. I still have it.

Thank you Steve

When our grandfather was (to us) very old, we asked him what was the best age to be, assuming he’d know by now. His reply:
“The age you are. The chap 5 years older is a good old boy, but he’s getting on a bit. The chap 5 years younger? Nice lad - but he still has an awful a lot to learn…”

“It’s not your baby Emily: despite Papa‘s refusing to sign the form, I sneaked into the reproduction class. You would have needed some of those seeds Mama buys for the vegetable garden”
#GirlsOwnCC

“Florence, my wife cannot bring herself to speak to you, so I must inform you you are dismissed. You were told to hang the new net curtains, not attempt to hang yourself with them”
#GirlsOwnCC

“Do you see that tiny cottage ahead? My dear, our future home. Roses around the door, chickens in the garden…” “Really?” she replied frostily. “And exactly who is going to muck out the chickens and collect the eggs”?
That’s when George realised he really hadn’t thought this through…
#GirlsOwnCC

My darling Euphemia, I have been locked out, away from the Blue Sky and butterflies for far too long. It is wonderful to be back here on a Sunday evening. #GirlsOwnCC

I've not read all of them - but hopefully will - though I learned a lot from your Katherine the Queen, and really enjoyed it.

So pleased to be back in after going round in circles! Forgot my password, and couldn’t seem to copy the rescue codes correctly. Sometimes it’s not easy to tell O from 0, or distinguish between lower case l, capital i or the number 1.
Now sorted - so, how’s everybody been?

“Thou shall not pass!” yelled Emily desperately. Next year, she reflected grimly, she would not be travelling with Mordor Tours
#GirlsOwnCC

“I’m tired of you Emily! I’ve curled my hair, Fido’s been brushed, but what do you paint? A daub of that old tree opposite! Next time I want my likeness in oils l I’m calling Jackson Pollock!”
#GirlsOwnCC

Thank you Ma’am - I was half expecting that, and am so glad to be reassured that in an ever changing world #GirlsOwnCC continues to maintain standards.

“Right Mellors! Perhaps that will remind you to tug your forelock next time you greet my wife!”
“Well Lord Chatterly” commented Old Joe “to be fair I’m not sure it’s his forelock he’s been thinkin’ about tugging’…”
#GirlsOwnCC

“Of course you’ve no water from this ‘ere Milady - this is just one o’they stupid wishing wells built for tourists. Ma’am, I be standing wi’ me feet on the ground!”
#GirlsOwnCC

“With all due respect Lord Fauntleroy sir, the fact you don’t like the Earl’s smelly old pug was no reason to drop him in here, and I think your lady mother will agree”
#GirlsOwnCC

“Delia,” said Gerald, “It’s tragic you’ve only the one foot, but that alone won’t qualify you for the Invictus games. You’ve never served”
“Service” commented Delia darkly “can take many forms…”
#GirlsOwnCC

Goodness, thank you - I never expected that. After all, I hadn’t even got around to Rich Tea…
#GirlsOwnCC

That, thought Herbert, was a complete waste of time.
The hours he’d spent learning French sonnets for guaranteed pushovers; and this wretched girl looks totally bewildered and says her parents made her study German instead
#GirlsOwnCC

“Oh Mr Sainsbury” twittered a flustered Mavis “such a difficult question… how can anyone decide? I mean… custard creams or Garibaldis…”
#GirlsOwnCC

“George, it’s coffee! If you ask once more for a skinny latte with pumpkin spice and extra creamer (whatever that all is) I swear I’ll set Rover onto you…”
#GirlsOwnCC

“Hmm! I see that Mr Leslie Phillips is flirting again”
“Yes sister, but - but - actually I think the way he says ‘Well, Hello!’ and ‘Ding Dong!’ is actually rather sweet…”
#GirlsOwnCC

Un-noticed by the chattering throng, Esther and Esme continued their synchronised movements drill. Much more enjoyable than that wet, uncomfortable, immodest synchronised swimming…
#GirlsOwnCC

Esme had thought it would work…. the rich but dim suitor had arrived at church but then - only asked the pageboys where the bride was.
“Mama’s having a quick snifter” George had replied, “then putting the twins down for a nap”
She’d never imagined the groom could run that fast…
#GirlsOwnCC

Perfect!

Gran glared with disgust at the grey sky and rain. “It’s all Mavis’s fault” she declared flatly
“How come?” asked Mam
“It’s obvious! A bit o’ sun for a few days, and the daft girl only goes and buys a sundress and then makes it worse getting garden seats. Asking for trouble…”
#NewAlanBennett

“Oh ma, I’m so sad to tell you, but we’re leaving the island. I’m taking little Donald to a new future in the USA”
Grandma reflected grimly that as her grandson wasn’t very bright but showed a definite aggressive streak he’d probably end up as President
#GirlsOwnCC

“Come on Grandmama, it’s just a small loan so I can take Johnny to the circus, he so wants to be a ringmaster! Surely you can spare a bit of your Widow’s mite?”
“Widow’s mite? I’ve told tha before Ethel, this widow might not!”
#GirlsOwnCC

True, but sometimes that’s an unusual (but glorious) view

Panic not… your readership will wait (though perhaps we’ll pass on the holding our breath bit)