White text on a black background. The word convoluted is highlighted in green. Andee locks himself in the bathroom when we get back. He has his habits, and I have mine. I've been too tired the last few days to cut. That might be a new low for me. But that streak is gonna be broken today. Slut. Parasite. (Italicized) I can cut the words away. It's easier to deny them when I'm in the clarifying haze of pain. I'm not a slut. I'm not a parasite. I'm not some wackjob going around and attacking people willy-nilly like some kind of convoluted revenge plot. The only person I hurt is myself. You know that's a lie. (Italicized) Shut up, Brain.

Today’s #WIPsnips word is #convoluted. I may or may not have added this word in today lol. A bit of a darker snippet, contains self harm and a brief vague reference to Andee’s eating disorder (bulimia).

#wip #writing #queer #trans #fiction #ya #horror #WriteSky #BookSky #mentalillness #sh #ed

TELESCOPE There is a moment after you move your eye away when you forget where you are because you've been living, it seems, somewhere else, in the silence of the night sky. You've stopped being here in the world. You're in a different place, a place where human life has no meaning. You're not a creature in a body. You exist as the stars exist, participating in their stillness, their immensity. Then you're in the world again. At night, on a cold hill, taking the telescope apart. You realize afterward not that the image is false but the relation is false. You see again how far away each thing is from every other thing.

Louise Glück, born on this day in 1943

Andee and Annabelle both fit this bill.
Andee’s backstory I do explore elsewhere, in a side novella, and there are some small reveals and hints in the actual novel. But Annabelle’s remains a mystery. I like leaving a lot of those kinds of things up to the reader to determine.

I saw a modified version somewhere (I believe it was on an online acquaintance’s bio) that said “Write what you know. Research what you don’t.” And I think that’s a good addition. You *can* write what you don’t know, but it’ll inevitably take more work to do properly.

Teenage me would have been fine being roommates with Cainen. Mostly because teenage me was very similar to Cainen. But we’d probably feed each other’s bad habits.
Adult me, however, would suffer lol. Mostly because there’s no way I’d be able to sleep through Cainen talking to himself all the time.

Red blames everyone else but himself. If he does admit to a mistake, he won’t learn from it. He either can’t or won’t change. He can’t really grow or evolve, because he’s not a real person.

It definitely depends on the mistake. Cainen admits them readily, but is a slow learner lol. But he does get there… eventually.

Andee never acknowledges them, but deep down he knows what he has done and can never forgive himself for it, even if others would forgive him.

Cainen eventually gets revenge on someone who wrongs him. It is deserved. But it leaves him feeling deeply conflicted afterwards. It’s not satisfying for him. It was an act of desperation/necessity, so not super well thought out.
He appreciates the *idea* of revenge, but not so much so in practice.

Idk if you wanted a real answer to this, but it made me curious so here it is:
“Middle English dereling, from Old English deorling, dyrling ‘one who is much beloved, a favorite,’ double diminutive of deor ‘dear’”
So essentially it’s dear. Dear-ling.

… can you tell I’m procrastinating rn lol…

White text on a black background. The word deal is highlighted in green. "I— I can't. I'm not... I... sorry,” I stammer. "It's okay." His hand comes to rest at my waist. It's safer there. I'm not sure why. "I just..." I gesture at my chest. "It just feels wrong." "You're not wrong, though. You're perfect." "I'm really not,” I say. "You're perfect to me." He doesn't get it. He can't get it. I know what body dysmorphia feels like. I'm well used to hating my body. This is different. It's not about wanting to look better. It's about looking like a man. Or close to one, anyway. He wouldn't know, because he is one. He never had to deal with the doubt, the wrongness, the displacement. I'm not sure why I'm even trying to explain to him how I feel. I'm not even sure I know how I feel. Wrong. I just feel wrong. I wrap my arms around Red. For some reason holding him makes me feel better about my own body. Like he has enough masculinity for the both of us.

The #WIPsnips word for today is #deal. I had a few good options, but I went with this scene because it hasn’t been posted before. Featuring one of Red’s many microaggressions (mild transphobia… that later becomes major transphobia lol).

#wip #writing #trans #queer #fiction #ya #horror #notaromance

I love that the titles also read like a poem to me. Not sure if that was also intentional or not, but either way there’s something beautiful about that.

White text on a black background. The word psychology is highlighted twice in green. "Hey, Cainen. Missed you yesterday," Annabelle whispers. "No you didn't," I whisper back. "Fine, maybe I didn't. Class was extra boring though. A lot of notes on Freud, because of course there is. I'm a little worried about Mr. Smith's relationship with his mother." "Yikes. What is it with terrible teachers and their obsession with Freud? Wasn't he, like, a crackhead?" "Oh yeah, and a generally horrible human being who projected his own degeneracy onto everyone else." "And he's the father of psychology?" I say. "Something to be said about human nature there, I think." "Psychology clearly needs more women," Annabelle says. "Screw Freud, I wanna hear what his mother has to say about the human mind."

Today’s #WIPsnips word is #psychology. Featuring Cainen and Annabelle commiserating over their least favorite class.

#wip #writing #queer #trans #fiction #ya #horror #writesky #booksky #mentalillness #freud

It would probably benefit him to be more connected, but he has some self-exploration to do first. He and Andee are alike in that they tend to distrust mainstream queer groups, albeit for different reasons. In theory he’ll probably join a queer group of some sort eventually, though.

Andee thinks child abusers should get the death penalty. Which, again, is not exactly an unpopular opinion. However, he also believes in vigilante justice, which can get messy very quickly. And that’s how he ends up at Forest Step for trying to kill his dad… he takes all his opinions to the extreme.

Red is transphobic/transmedicalist (and yes, he is dating Cainen. and yes, it goes horribly). Which makes him very unpopular in Cainen’s friend group, at least, even if it’s unfortunately more common in their/our society. Cainen is in denial about Red’s transphobia for most of the book though.

Cainen is interesting because he is queer, but does not really feel at home in queer spaces (like the GSA at his old school). He finds it overwhelming. Understandably. As a result, he’s kind of isolated from queer culture and community, aside from his few queer friends.

White text on a black background. The word signature is highlighted in green. "Hey, Mr. Friedman?" I ask. "I have a quick question." I try to put on my best innocent little boy voice. "Sure, shoot," he says. I watch his eyes flick to my tray and back. "My phone isn't working. You know if there's any way I can call my aunt?" He nods. "Yeah, that'll happen here. Your best bet is the office. Ms. Hancock should still be there. She usually stays late to deal with any student concerns." "Right, thanks," I say. Thank god it's Ms. Hancock. I was a little worried I'd have to talk to Ms. Buford again. She seems like she'd enjoy making it as hard as possible for me to place a phone call, just to relieve some of the crippling boredom that comes with being an old lady and an office receptionist. Mr. Friedman hands me a pass on blue paper, with the time and date and his signature printed at the bottom. On it he's scribbled #1. Needs call to Aunt. I decide the number one bit is probably a good thing. Probably. Hopefully.

A little late but it should still count: today’s #WIPsnips word is #signature. Not the best scene, but it’s the only one I had. Cainen gets a hall pass.

#WIP #writing #queer #trans #fiction #ya #horror #WriteSky #BookSky #mentalillness #boardingschool #school

Cainen hates driving, so he’d want to live somewhere walkable or use a bike/public transportation.
For some reason I feel like Andee would be a classic car guy. He’d drive something old, but stylish and reliable. Or alternatively, a Volkswagen Beetle lol.
And Red can’t drive, because he’s not real.

White text on a black background. The word fantasy is highlighted in green. I smile, but I can't look at him. I don't like the reminder of his impermanent status. That he could fade at any moment. I refuse to accept it. I pull myself closer to him, closing the distance between us. This is real. He's real. I'm real. We're real. I can feel the goosebumps on his arms. That's real. The ends of his hair tickling my face. That's real. The rhythm of his breathing, his breath against my neck. His hand on my thighs. It's all real. I don't care if I'm clinging to a fantasy, or hurtling headlong into a psychotic break. At least it's a good one. At least it's not a nightmare, like everything else is. At least it doesn't hurt. Overall, going insane is a lot more pleasant than I thought it would be. It's not all bad. At least I have Red.

Today’s #WIPsnips word is #fantasy. Cainen is feeling angsty about Red and his impermanence. Trying to convince themself that he’s real.

#wip #writing #queer #trans #fiction #ya #horror #novel #WriteSky #BookSky #mentalillness #hallucination

Not sure how well this one works for you, but one of my favorite quotes of all time is the one in my bio.

“As a writer, you try to listen to what others aren’t saying… and write about the silence.” - N.R. Hart.

As a disclaimer, I have no idea who N.R. Hart is. I just like the quote lol.

White text on a black background. The word duration is highlighted in green. I take a shaky breath. Swallow the lump in my throat. I wonder if I'll ever watch the Terminator movies now. It feels wrong to see them without my dad. My phone buzzes. Mya has reacted to my message with a laughing emoji. Aunt Tracy honks her horn from outside. Everything feels far away and too close. I don't want to leave. Again. I don't want to spend the duration of my life hopping from house to house to school to school in search of the home I lost. I leave Mya's reaction on read and head towards the car. It's gonna be another long year.

The #WIPsnips word for today is #duration. Had just one example. Cainen is leaving his old school and friends (again) for Forest Step, where things start going wrong. He’s (understandably) not happy about it.

#wip #writing #queer #trans #fiction #ya #horror #mentalillness #writesky #booksky

Instead of asking chatgpt, why not ask a librarian? You'll get real answers and they won't tell you to kill yourself.

White text on a black background. The word wheel is highlighted in green twice. Ms. Cornell's assignment should be an easy one. Read a paragraph. Determine whether the sentences are simple, compound, or complex, and then diagram them. She's insistent that we are going to need to know how to diagram next year. Next year. Sophomore year. My friends will be learning how to drive. Hell, some of them have already started Not me. They day I get behind a wheel is a long way away. Aunt Tracy mentions it every once and while, but I think she's relieved. She trusts me behind the wheel about as much as I do. Which is to say, not at all. I thought I had more time. I'm only fifteen after all, even if I will be sixteen in two months. Last year, sixteen felt like it was a lifetime away. But we all know years go by quickly. After all, in just a few months, it'll be... I raise my hand. "Yes, Clementine? Do you have a relevant question, or do you just need me to repeat the directions again?" Carly at least has the decency not to laugh, although I can't say the same for the rest of the class. "Uh... May I use the bathroom?" I try to sound as confident as I can through the haze of laughter. Ms. Cornell dismisses me. Freedom, but it came at a cost.

Today’s #WIPsnips word is #wheel. Cainen (or Clementine in this scene, because he’s not out yet) has a lot of anxiety (understandably) about learning to drive.

#wip #writing #queer #trans #fiction #ya #horror #mentalillness #WriteSky #BookSky #novel

I think you may be right, lol… :)

Horror is the most fun bc it’s such a broad genre. From your own mind to monsters to ghosts, from slasher films to cosmic horrors, lighthearted and deep. It’s such a broad genre that it makes it easy to incorporate other genres into it, and vice versa. Also… life is inherently kinda horrifying, so…

I’ll pretty much write anything fiction. I like writing YA, fantasy, supernatural stuff, but I do tend to stick to speculative fiction over realistic fiction. I’ve dabbled in blogging, but it’s not my favorite. I can’t even journal very well lol. I have to fictionalize all my experiences.

There are a lot of mysteries in my current WIP, both big and small. Some of them (such as the immortal parasites, what they are and where they come from) are left unanswered. Just like real life, there are things we may never know. Oh, and there’s someone attacking students and stalking the mc.

I’m A.C. Wolfe. I write queer horror, psychological horror, supernatural horror… anything with horror. And gay people. And mental illness. Sometimes (usually) all of the above.
This week I’m reading The Afterdark by E. Latimer. Not sure how I feel about it yet, though. But it is queer horror!

White text on a black background. The word topic is highlighted in green. "I'm surprised you're still alive." "Me too," Red says. He grins. It's an expression I know all too well. Cheating death is just another slapstick comedy routine for us. Living is a lot less funny. "You know," he continues, his grin fading, "It's funny. I think I was supposed to die." "Everyone says that," I say. "I was supposed to die before I ever made this scar." "Yeah, but... I don't know. It's almost like I died in my universe and woke up in this one." "Maybe you did, then. Maybe this is your second-chance life." "Maybe." "Don't fuck it up," I say with a laugh. He smiles back. For a moment, despite the conversation's topic, I can forget that he's a messed-up, hyper-realistic hallucination living in my shared dorm room at an unethical boarding school. It's just me and him. It feels almost normal, or as normal as I can get. "Hey, Red?" I say. "Yeah?" "Truce?" "Were we at war?" he asks with a half-smile. "I'm always at war. I'd rather be on your side than against you, though." Red smiles— a genuine smile, not a deflection or a sarcastic parody of one. "Deal." We shake on it with mock seriousness and settle into a final, comfortable silence as Red retreats back up to the top bunk. I'm asleep before he even reaches his bed.

Today’s #WIPsnips word is #topic. I had exactly one option. In which Red and Cainen discuss his memories of his old life.

#wip #writing #queer #trans #fiction #ya #horror #mentalillness #WriteSky #BookSky

My antagonist(s) sacrifice more, in a way. They have less to lose and more to gain, so they’re more willing to go to extreme lengths to get what they want. And they’re willing to give up everything they *do* have to get it. My main character makes some sacrifices, but none as bold as the villains’.