This is everything!

The Waldos! Happy 4/20, Everyone! With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

Five high school guys set out to score weed… and accidentally built a global holiday. Meanwhile, I overthink a Facebook post for 20 minutes and still hit delete. #420 #TheWaldos open.substack.com/pub/thesnark...

Sorry, Caitlyn. With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

Turns out the system doesn’t care who you are, and that’s the part people have been trying to explain. #CaitlynJenner #DonaldTrump #RepublicanHypocrisy open.substack.com/pub/thesnark...

Clarence Thomas is Allergic to Progressive Policies. (Take a pill, buddy.) With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

Turns out the real danger isn’t progress—it’s the idea that the rules might finally apply to him, and that’s the part he can’t fucking stand. #ClarenceThomas #GinniThomas #Republcans #SCOTUS #January6th #TheSnarkyCorrespondent open.substack.com/pub/thesnark...

Is JD Vance Fucking Serious? With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

“Breaking: JD Vance Diagnosed with Acute Foot-in-Mouth.” #DontPlayWithDaPope #JDVance open.substack.com/pub/thesnark...

The Cracks Were Already Showing and The Republicans Reaction is... With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

Republicans spent years enabling chaos, and now they’re suddenly “concerned” because he’s threatening entire civilizations & the Pope—adorable. Turns out “it’ll be fine” was always bullshit, and now we all get to pay for it. open.substack.com/pub/thesnark...

The Strongman Broke Up With Reality (And Reality Won) Trump's BFF just lost his job. With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

The “authoritarian takeover is permanent” crowd must be devastated to learn that voters can still show up and ruin everything by participating in democracy—how deeply inconvenient for the strongmen. #ViktorOrban #DonaldTrump
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We Don’t Get to Look Away Just Because He’s Ours. The Eric Swalwell Edition. With Love and Furious Anger, The Snarky Correspondent

Democrats kick out their own when they cross the line, Republicans nominate theirs—because apparently accountability is just a fucking suggestion to them. #EricSwalwell #Democrats #Republicans #SexualAssault
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The Smallest Possible Truth (and Why It Smells Like Bullshit) Distraction Thy Name is Epstein. With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

We handed Iran a toll booth on the global energy highway. #DonaldTrump #JeffreyEpstein #MelaniaTrump #GhislaineMaxwell #Iran #UnitedStates #TheSnarkyCorrespondent open.substack.com/pub/thesnark...

“Both Sides Do It” Is the Dumbest Lie in American Politics. With Love and Frustration, The Snarky Correspondent

“Both sides do it” is what people say when critical thinking feels like cardio and they’d rather stay seated. #Republicans #Democrats #BothSidesDontDoIt #TheSnarkyCorrespondent
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@stephaniemiller.bsky.social I too wanted to be Farrah Fawcett. I feel your pain.

Another Fucking Two-Week Promise With Love and Absolute Whiplash, The Snarky Correspondent

Another “two weeks” from Donald Trump isn’t strategy—it’s a global game of “how long until this all goes to absolute fuck.” #TACO #DonaldTrump #Iran #UnitedStates #War #TheSnarkyCorrespondent open.substack.com/pub/thesnark...

Our President is an unhinged Twat Waffle. (Annihilation Now Passes for Policy.) With Love and Furious Anger, The Snarky Correspondent

If a president can threaten the death of a civilization and half the country just scrolls past it—we don’t have a leadership problem. This is a WTF is wrong with us problem! #DonaldTrump #Iran #War #UnitedStates #Republicans #Fascism #TheSnarkyCorrespondent open.substack.com/pub/thesnark...

How to Neuter Citizens United v. FEC Without Waiting for Nine Robes and a Miracle With Love and Excitement, The Snarky Correspondent

Robert Reich gave us the plan...LET'S USE IT! Also, fuck Citizens United. Thank you and have a great day! #RobertReich #CitizensUnited #StatesHavePower #TheSnarkyCorrespondent open.substack.com/pub/thesnark...

Easter—resurrection, pastel capitalism, and a bunny laying eggs like biology just gave up. He is risen… and so are egg prices. 🐣

🔥 Cabinet Confirmed—The Women Go First With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

In Trump’s World, this is the ONLY reason any woman goes first. BREAKING NEWS: YOU'RE FIRED! (P.S. Gabbard is next.) Here's my Snark Take. #PamBondi #TheSnarkyCorrespondent open.substack.com/pub/thesnark...

🧨 Citizenship for Me, But Not for Thee. (Trump’s Birthright Fantasy Falls Apart the Second You Apply It to His Own Family.) With Love and Focused on Irony, The Snarky Correspondent

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Donald Trump—the man who treats the Ten Commandments like optional fucking suggestion is now suddenly hosting a White House revival tour. #happyeaster #holyweek #DonaldTrump #Republicans #TheSnarkyCorrespondent

🧨 Citizenship for Me, But Not for Thee. (Trump’s Birthright Fantasy Falls Apart the Second You Apply It to His Own Family.) With Love and Focused on Irony, The Snarky Correspondent

They want to rewrite citizenship so it only applies to the “right” people—just not their own families. #BirthrightCitizenship #DonaldTrump #USConstitution #14thAmendment
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War for Profit Isn’t a Conspiracy. It’s the Business Model. With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

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War for Profit Isn’t a Conspiracy. It’s the Business Model. With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

We can’t get insulin approved—but the war machine gets express checkout and a rewards program. #War #Profiteering #Republicans #TheSnarkyCorrespondent open.substack.com/pub/thesnark...

🔥Pull the Tooth, Fund the War With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

They can fund a war overnight—but my insurance won’t approve a cap. Tell me again how we aren’t governed by a fucked-up set of priorities.
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Paul Vallas. The Gift that just keeps on giving. With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

Paul Vallas blaming the SAFE-T Act for these murders is giving “man who read one headline and ignored every fact”—and somehow still thought exploiting a tragedy was a solid argument. #Chicago #PaulVallas open.substack.com/pub/thesnark...

Paul Vallas’ Blame Game: A Masterclass in Missing the Point With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

Paul Vallas forgets that we control all 3 branches of our government. Says it’s somehow the Democrats’ fault. TSA workers deserve better than being used as props in a blame game. #PaulVallas #Chicago #TSA #Illinois
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Illinois 8th Didn’t Change — It Just Hit Refresh on the Same Corporate Settings. Raja vs Bean With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

Illinois 8th didn’t flip — it just swapped one donor-approved Democrat for another and called it a choice. #MelissaBean #RajaKrishnamoorthi #Illinois8thCongressionalDistrict #CorporateCandidates #Illinois #TheSnarkyCorrespondent
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I'd agree.

Colombian Lawmaker: “What They’re Doing to Cuba Is a Crime” Colombian Congresswoman María Fernanda Carrascal argues that Cuba’s crisis is not about charity, but about sovereignty, pressure and the right to survive. Carrascal calls for stronger positions across...

Colombian Congresswoman María Fernanda Carrascal argues that Cuba’s crisis is not about charity, but about sovereignty, pressure and the right to survive. Carrascal calls for stronger positions across Latin America as pressure on Cuba intensifies.

🔥 How to manufacture a crisis, refuse to fix it, and then send in ICE to… stand there. Ok.... With Love, The Snarky Correspondent

We can’t pay TSA, but we can afford a bunch of ICE agents standing around pretending that’s the same thing. This isn’t security—it’s a fucking stage prop. #TSA #ICE #airports #travel #DonaldTrump #Republicans #TheSnarkyCorrespondent open.substack.com/pub/thesnark...

Obama will always be the better man.

The Comeback Nobody Asked For: How Big Money Resurrected Melissa Bean With Love and Curiosity, The Snarky Correspondent

Melissa Bean didn’t “come out of retirement” — she was reactivated like a donor-funded sleeper agent the second a safe blue seat and a progressive threat showed up. #MelissaBean #Illinois #8thCongressionalDistrict
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