A golden retriever has both paws up at a bank teller’s window.
“Are you the branch manager?”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”
Imagine having a mind that worked this way …
VERY COOL PERSON: It's four-twenty, you know what that means?
ME: Hell yeah! [starts shoving blackbirds into a pie]
LOL.
A Forbes article about a father who killed eight children, with an embedded prediction widget inviting people to speculate on whether "Congress will pass new gun safety legislation before 31st December 2026"
ghoulish
Blueskis, THE WESTERNERS is officially a Beach Read!
🏖️☀️📚
A blured photo. A young girl is visible. She is wearing a blouse. She has quite long blond hair.
20 April 1937 | A French Jewish boy, Bernard Kolerstein, was born in Nancy.
In November 1942 he was deported to #Auschwitz and murdered in a gas chamber.
---
▶ Video about the first two gas chambers created near Auschwitz II-Birkenau: https://youtu.be/Rr6lF75fDmU
To be fair, watching the theatrical cut of that film, I would gladly sit through three hours of any of those characters: Nolte, Travolta, Penn, Koteas, Brody, Chaplin … holy shit that is a great cast. H
Right! Story is that Brody didn’t even know, and brought his mother to the premiere thinking he’d be the star.
It is wild that this guy was the lead in The Thin Red Line.
two tips!
1. You can't make a sandcastle without first making a big pile of sand. tell yourself you're just shovelling sand and let it be a bit shit first
2. set a timer for 10 or even 5 minutes and just write placeholder nonsense. things like "character says stuff in reply". super basic
Write the terrible draft first wrd.as.uky.edu/sites/defaul...
Hawk standing on a pigeon
Flying with the pigeon in his talons
Gwyneth Paltrow can’t find anywhere in New York to get a quick, healthy, delicious meal but here’s a red-tailed hawk grabbing lunch outside the Ft Hamilton F stop. Skill issue.
Not going to attend the White House Correspondents Dinner. It’s not even a close call.
Not even close
We talked about it at 22-minute mark on our Substack Live
substack.com/@macfarlanen...
Good news for New Yorkers, bad news for rats: all trash will be in rat-proof bins by the end of 2031.
No more black bags on the sidewalks — it’s time to put a lid on it.
US intelligence assesses that Iran still retains 40% of its prewar stockpile of drones, and after conducting operations to dig up buried missile cities during the ceasefire, 60% of its missile launchers.-NYT
It’s hard to express how important Iris was to ACT UP’s scientific development. She was the catalyst who started it all. Iris Long, Scientific Mentor to AIDS Activists, Dies at 92 www.nytimes.com/2026/04/17/h...
Yet another ICE inmate death is ruled a homicide by medical examiners.
Jonathan Richman is always the antidote.
Today's trump antidote is Jonathan:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5lq_FIjbOo
If you think Carter was still popular in 1984, and that Mondale wasn't burdened by Carter in that election, then I'm not the one with a memory problem.
Pope: [moral critique of illegal war]
President: I am Jesus. Thr pope is gay
Media: they are feuding😳
OMG
Kash Patel appears to be a drunken national security threat
"Meetings and briefings had to be rescheduled for later in the day as a result of his alcohol-fueled nights."
"A request for 'breaching equipment' ... was made last year because Patel had been unreachable behind locked doors."
The New York Times is now blocking The Wayback Machine from accessing its articles.
That means you'll no longer be able to view archived versions of NYT stories published in 2026 and beyond on archive.org.
(All those posts you see tracking changes to NYT headlines and ledes? They relied on WBM).
“All that is solid melts into air, all that is holy is profaned, and man is at last compelled to face with sober senses his real conditions of life, and his relations with his kind.”
Trump on Truth Social: Iran has just announced that the Strait of Iran is fully open and ready for full passage.
Thanks, Janet!
Thank you!
