The Greatest indeed ….

And on the subject of humour and chocolate ….

They’ve just discovered a new tomb in Egypt with a mummy in it covered in chocolate & nuts. They think it could be Pharaoh Rocher.

And I heard a rumour that Cadburys is developing an oriental chocolate bar … but it could just be a Chinese Wispa.

Hugs

I’m sorry to hear that Flupsy. My only answer is humour, get the endorphins flowing. Watch the Bob Mortimer ‘best bits’ from Last One Laughing on YouTube. I know it doesn’t fix depression, but I find it helps relieve it sometimes !

Came across Neil Diamond in the supermarket this morning ….

You should see the festive menu at Dundee United’s Christmas Party for fans from a few years ago, a big whoops ….

The reason why Batman had a written warning from HR recently.

What do you call a camel with three humps ?

Pregnant.

#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary DISMAYED: To tear off the 5th page of a wall calendar.

#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary LIMESTONE: Green

I kept my dairy spread in the fridge, but a month ago it fell out and whacked me on the toe, and I’m still in pain. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better.

Ian.

Car finance redress plan 'impractical', says trade body Many firms and individuals may no longer have records going back to 2007, the car finance industry says.

And in other news, turkeys say Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners should be given a makeover with sushi and avocado on toast.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Not sure why it’s in the sandwiches section, but buying Denver looks quite cheap, I bet that city would cost a bit more now.

At work, we now have to set a password with 12 characters and one ‘special character’ - so I’ve gone for “Jesus and his Disciples”.

I wonder if that’s what people think has caused my baldness ….. hmm.

I met my old French teacher the other day, and she asked me what I’m up to now.
I told her that the boat has departed and today I am playing with my dog.

Two Eskimos, sitting in their canoe, were a bit chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving conclusively that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.
#LunchPun

#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary
PROFLIGATE: To tie up a teacher.

One for @wordsmithgetxo.bsky.social - puffins doing puffiny things on the Farne Islands this year. Raising the cutest named bird baby perhaps … the puffling ? Thanks for all your Getxo bird pictures Chris, they make me smile every day !

Always take a tape measure with you to IKEA when buying stuff for the kids … 😉

Someone has torn the 5th page out of my wall calendar this week - which left me dismayed.

What do you call a nervous javelin thrower ?

Shakespeare.

You may as well know my secret - my grandad beat my gran to death.

Not as in, with a stick – he just died 4 years before her.

Apple pie in Jamaica = $2.50
Pork pie in the Bahamas = $3.25
Steak pie in Barbados = $4.10

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

I’ve just successfully bred a cross between a crocodile and a homing pigeon - although I bet it comes back to bite me .….

I saw The Pretenders, they were a tribute band !

Footballers often used to eat Jaffa Cakes at half time, although apparently Paul Scholes had ginger nuts.

I wrote a great joke about a fat badger, but I couldn’t fit it into my set.

If Celine Dion just sang the vowels in her name, it would need to be to the tune of Old MacDonald’s Farm.

Or to translate …. “We don’t want to pay a transfer fee, so let us know if you are giving him away on loan late in the window please ….”