If “grifting crook” is what he was trying to carefully curate…

Sorry to hear that ☹️

I think the owner of my local bakery has a hard-on for white chocolate.

#funny #humour #humor #joke #comedy #food #foodie #chocolate

I think it’s sexist when people think their spices need to have a great rack.

#dadjoke #joke #funny #humour #humor #food #foodporn #comedy

It has been 114 years since the Titanic sank. I think it’s time to hear the iceberg’s side of the story.

#titanic #funny #humour #humor #comedy #joke #history

A majority of Americans feel that the war with Iran has not been worthwhile. It hasn’t provided them with any new celebrities to worship.

#iran #america #funny #comedy #humour #humor #joke #celebritynews

The war would end immediately if the US threatened Iranian officials with a forced brunch with Melania.

#joke #humour #humor #funny #comedy #iran #melania

Our niece Emily likes to spend other people’s money too. Must be something to do with the name. 😉

“They were like ships that passed in the night” *

*offer not valid in the Strait of Hormuz.

#funny #joke #comedy #humor #humour #iran #hormuz

Melania’s announcement today: “I have been responsible for my own org@sms for the past 25 years.”

#funny #melania #epstein #trump #humour #humor #joke #comedy

Forget these posts about "de-pluralizing a movie title". How about pluralizing one instead. Like Titsanic.

#humour #humor #joke #movies #comedy #funny

Resume? They never stopped.

They all become Trump supporters when they’re worried about their search histories going public. 😂

Wide jeans are in fashion again. Good news for people with wide genes.

#funny #fashion #jeans #comedy #humour #humor #joke

I don’t know about you, but once I reach 10,000 steps I don’t move for the rest of the day.

#funny #humour #humor #comedy

Pam Bondi won’t be hiding out on a military base anymore for anyone who needs to know…

With Pam gone the price of gas will surely plummet at any moment.

You beat me to it!

It’s Palm Sunday. Or if you’re Cadbury, palm oil Sunday.

What about one-armed gays and lesbians?

There’s an antibiotic-resistant strain of Christian Mingle going around.

#funny #humour #humor #religion #joke #comedy #christian #antireligion #dating

Me ordering dinner in a restaurant: “Go ahead. Amuse my bouche”, but in Clint Eastwood’s voice.

Glad we’re all on the same page.

No pickles were harmed in the making of this ball.

When lawyers get involved…

Having eaten in an IKEA cafeteria, I can verify that all Swedes are legally required to start every meal with dessert.

#funny #joke #comedy #humour #humor #ikea #sweden #swedish

American tourists are increasingly unwelcome in other countries and now they can’t even fly within their own country. Driving is also too expensive. Runners are tariffed. REM predicted this…🎶“Stand in the Place Where You Live”🎶

#REM #funny #comedy #humour #humor #joke #satire

I guess it’s too late now to listen to my Bananaramadan playlist.

#funny #joke #humour #humor #comedy

Vulcans were big fans of the Romans. That’s why Vulcans give each other a high V when they greet each other.

LiVe long and prosper…

#funny #joke #humour #humor #comedy #startrek #vulcan #roman

Wasn’t Vernal Equinox a Bond girl from the 80s?

#spring #vernalequinox #joke #jamesbond #humor #humour #funny #comedy

The Ghost of Bibi past.