You got a point there

You wanna grab a few beers and [redacted] at the [redacted] while these [redacted] spend [redacted] all while in [redacted]

Between the month long Fatheads funeral, the Philly sports bros prank calling us and the draft, I'm at my absolute limit on 300# backwards hat sports guys for a fucking lifetime

I hope it rains fucking donkeys all weekend long, fuck the fucking draft and fuck this city's inferiority complex

🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬

The Boston Buffalo series is everything right now, manpiles in each penalty box, go Sabres

86ing Hooker D and Hooker D's mom is some generational trauma

They should've called after 4pm when the most Philly guy I know is working the bar

Complete transcript of a phone call I had today: “Is this the Piper’s Pub in Pittsburgh?” “Yes” “This is Bobby from [radio station] in Philly and you’re live on the air. We just wanted to call and say Go Flyers.” “Okay.” “So we’ll see ya in South Philly tomorrow night!” “Alright”

Thoughts and prayers to the Philly version of Colin Dumcrap that googled "Pittsburgh sports bar", found Piper's Pub and tried to prank call us today

Tweet from Ron Iver (@ronnui_): Inventor of moscow mule: I'll have another vodka and ginger beer please. Bartender: *sighing* do you need it in your- Inventor of moscow mule: If you don't put it in my big shiny cup I am going to send you to god

Mark Messier looks like a Venture Brothers version of Lex Luthor that drank too much tanning bronzer

Pens are gonna get swept harder than a rat off Urban Tap's social media

Pens win this series and the South Side Burger King dumpster is drinking Malört out of me

Pens win this series I'll drink Malört out of the South Side Burger King dumpster

Fuck it, pens win this series I'll drink Malört out of Big E's shoe

Pens win this series I'll drink Malört out of my shoe

Fandom is pain

I'm very much looking forward to the deafening silence of a closed Fatheads and no more draft talk next Monday

"I can't imagine just going bar hopping with my parents"

"Yeah.... I'd have to dig them up"

#CookQuotes

Be sure to read the whole thing.

Look, what I'm saying is when you're eating sunflower seeds, spit the shell out, don't eat the shell. This will solve most of your problem.

Hard or soft shell?

"on a scale of Baskin Robbins to Dairy Queen, how's your poop?" #CookQuotes

I did a deep dive on Detroit & Green Bay reddit on this, NFL gonna get their money and the rest of us get scraps

The bread & circuses we deserve

men will be like "i hate musical theater" and then listen to iron maiden