"I can't imagine just going bar hopping with my parents"
"Yeah.... I'd have to dig them up"
#CookQuotes
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#CookQuotes
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"on a scale of Baskin Robbins to Dairy Queen, how's your poop?" #CookQuotes
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"I feel like if you touched Mark Madden, he'd be sticky" #CookQuotes
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"the Venn diagram of furries and train enthusiasts is a closed loop public transportation system" #CookQuotes
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"a crotch dropping? a cunt dumpling?! a pussy pierogi?!!?!" #CookQuotes
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"what if we called Zach 'Sack'?"
#CookQuotes
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"ok, but in what context does 'make me drip like a candle' not mean *that*??" #CookQuotes
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"my sleep paralysis demon is the Boxty recipe" #CookQuotes
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"I had a pet rat when I was a kid, but his balls got real big and scared me and my Mom gave him away" #CookQuotes
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"the fuck does the health department need a best by date on salt?? It's a fuckin rock" #CookQuotes
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"did Moses take Adderall? No, he took peyote and that's good enough for me" #CookQuotes
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"if I had a toupé, I'd name it Kristen" #CookQuotes
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"should've had a sandwich, crashed out and made it everyone else's problem instead"
"...You know that's how World War One started, right?"
#CookQuotes
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"the only good catcalling is catcalling food" #CookQuotes
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"Pooh Bear is adorable, but he doesn't have a huge schlong" #CookQuotes
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"They don't make lesbians like they used to" #CookQuotes
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"everything I don't like is AI" #CookQuotes
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"Billy Strings is just bluegrass Rush for millennials" #CookQuotes
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"it's not my girlfriend's weed, it's my bae leaf" #CookQuotes
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"ironically, the burn spray burns when you huff it" #CookQuotes
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"isn't that just gassing up your ding dong?
"I gas my ding dong up all the time, C'MON LITTLE BUDDY, YOU CAN DO THIS!"
#CookQuotes
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"I'm gonna start an onlyfans called Sonic the Edgehog" #CookQuotes
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"he's as useful as used tape from a cardboard box" #CookQuotes
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"Sorry I just wasn't ready for your girth"
"What am I, just a turnip to you?"
#CookQuotes
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"If you have a girthy turnip, you should probably see a doctor about that" #CookQuotes
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"My what a girthy parsnip you have" #CookQuotes
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"you think Lucy Lawless does the Xena War Cry when she's bouncing on it?" #CookQuotes
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"2500mg?!? Bro got so high he took a screenshot of himself!" #CookQuotes
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"Nothing tastes better than a dream cigarette" #CookQuotes
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