Well, it seems I’ve worn my loudest coat to this waiting room.

Methinks!

See, I always eat up the gold-leaf cookies before I can add them to the piece.

Delicious!

There is no such thing as “the perfect crime,” you just have to commit the best crime you can

I say buy two or three cookies and make a Grand Mosaic.

Interrogram?

Someone at work spelled it Instragram, which is an obvious improvement.
Infragram?
Infergram?

Agreed.

But I first read that as first PASS the post, like someone asking you to hand them the next tweet, as if it was a salt shaker.

I came up with this insult in a dream, of all places, and I can't wait to try it on someone for real. And you're welcome to use it.

In response to a complete asshat:

"In the immortal words of Julius Caesar, 'veni, vedi, vici.' That's Latin for 'I came, I saw, fuck you.'"

I always strive to be honest and forthwrong.

i am sorry to let you know that the angel of history has started eating history. they say it’s the only way forward from here. they are asking if you can eat a few decades too

Thanks!

sound different. So is it “owl” or “awl” or something? “Ool”??

—Curious In New York

*like this hilarious classic:
bsky.app/profile/gerr...

The Irish aul or aul‘. I've read this a million times* but it's only now occurred to me (reading a novel set in Ireland) to wonder how it's pronounced. I guess I always just blithely assumed it was like ol‘. Old. But why spell it that way if it's the same as the English version? Feckin and eejit

Photo of billboard that says “IF YO’RE IN PAIN, YOU NEED LAW. 800 PAIN LAW”

YOU NEED PAIN LAW

Oof. Not THAT bad, surely!

This kid has terrible taste, man. Get it together.

And the mercy seat is waiting
And I think my head is burning
And in a way I’m yearning
To be done with all this measuring of truth.
An eye for an eye
And a truth for a truth
And anyway I told the truth
But I’m afraid I told a lie.

Book of Bob 8:65

Raining on Broadway, sunny on Amsterdam.

Tried to write “Actually,” but it came out “Ac dually.”

Think Singly But Act Dually, as I always say.

#IAmTheBestTypist
#TypoOfTheDay
#WellActually

No Xmas for John Quays YouTube video by The Fall - Topic

Someone mentioned John Keats and I (can't believe this has never happened to me before) immediately had
“No Xmas for John Keats” on my mind.
#FallFriday
www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6oF...

Hays Code -ass world.

‼️

At least you can still post.

SkaWife

Strong folk horror vibes from this headline

ex-treme

Birch, please.