Top text reads POV: You're spending some time with your parents Picture is of the Sheriff from Cool Hand Luke with caption: What we have here is a failure

#parents #failure #disappointment

Recently rewatched the original Planet of the Apes, and I was not prepared for the amount of Charlton Heston booty in the film. Way too much Heston cheeks.
"You'll pry my gun from my muscular, clenched cheeks!"
#CharltonHeston #PlanetoftheApes #booty #butt #CHEEKS

How come Steven is pronounced Steven when seven is pronounced seven? Why not Steven and seven? Or possibly Steven and seven?
#English #Steven #seven #DumbQuestion #StupidQuestion

Binge watching #RestaurantImpossible and the number of people who open restaurants for their kids to have a legacy is INSANE. Like Bro, buy a laundromat. Give them a low-maintenance business, not a full-time job in food service.

@zacspeaksgiant.bsky.social

Every day, my brain is like: this is *MY* disco, and we *WILL* be panicking.
#anxiety #brain #PanicAtTheDisco

No, because this is what all good bois and gurls deserve.

what cheese will do to a man

The fish: ONE OF US! ONE OF US!1

The Onion Gives Up on Political Satire as the Real World Becomes "Impossible to Parody"

Seashells Transform Suburban Bathroom Into Tropical Hideaway

Seashells Transform Suburban Bathroom Into Tropical Hideaway theonion.com/seashells-transform-subu...

If DC/WB wants to do another solo villain movie, #PoisonIvy is the perfect choice. Could easily make her an anti-hero with current world affairs. She could kill execs with a kiss, making "hotness" a necessary character element. Get Greta Gerwig to direct to feed the audience more baby feminism. #DC

@punkeydoodles8.bsky.social
This would rip animated (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

For over a decade now, Disney movies have been like: "What if the *real* villain is the generational trauma we made along the way?"
#Disney #Villain #GenerationalTrauma

Jerry Lee Lewis voice:
Goodness Gracious
Gandalf Voice:
PRODIGIOUS TESTICLES OF FLAME!
#LOTR #JerryLeeLewis #Gandalf

*walks up to Darth Vader cosplayer*
Me: Ha! Say, 'I'm your father.'
Him: I AM your father!
Me: N..now, t..tell me you're proud of me.
#StarWars #DarthVader #DaddyIssues

a cartoon drawing of squidward from spongebob squarepants with a sad look on his face Alt: a cartoon drawing of squidward from spongebob squarepants with a handsome face.

Remember: unless it's from the Calamari Region of France, that's not looksmaxxing you've got there, just sparkling body dysmorphia. #looksmaxxing #Clavicular #Squidward

The only real downside to replacing your sphincter with a sphynxter is the occasional riddle-based constipation. #DadJoke #Sphynx #sphincter #sphynxter

A series/movie that could actually use a reboot: Sky High. Everyone is so burnt out on superheroes that a movie openly mocking them would probably be well received. The jokes could be more specific to the genre as well.
#Marvel #DC #SkyHigh #Superheroes #Superhero

These last few years must have been great for flags that are afraid of heights. #Flag #Flags #Halfstaff #Halfmast #flagpole

Black and white photo of a dinner scene, several older light skinned people are sitting and focusing on whatever foods are laid out before them. A short haired tabby cat is standing, stretched up on its hind legs with its front paws gripped over the edge of the table like it’s trying to see what’s up there or possibly drag itself up

MADAM YOU HAVE FORCED ME TO TAKE MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS. Photo from my collection, 1951.

Sometimes I think about how wild it is that people used to drink irradiated water or get X-rays for shoe-sizing. Then I remember in the early 2000s, my favorite body wash had "microbeads" in it. I.E. I used to WASH myself with MICROPLASTICS. #microplastic #History #microbeads #radiation

Original Perry the Platypus
#WallaceandGromit #PhineasandFerb #DanPovenmire #PerrythePlatypus

Me: Avengers Doomsday is everything wrong with modern cinema. It's a bloated product launch instead of actual cinema.
Also me: Thing vs Hulk! Thing vs Hulk! Thing vs Hulk! THIIIIING VERSUS HUUUUUUULLLLK!!!
#Marvel #MCU #Avengers #Doomsday #AvengersDoomsday
#ThingvsHulk #Thing #Hulk

One of my fave short stories I've ever created, this one in tandem with the illustrious and masterful @dustinweaver.bsky.social. It's... The Adventures of Thing Thing: The Blue Cheese Affair.

I recently came across my first drawing for this story in an old sketchbook. I scanned it and colored it for fun.
Here's the only "The Adventures of Thing Thing: The Blue Cheese Affair" concept art (2009)

The Space Race and Cold War prove that.

The whole "all babies must be born" philosophy makes a lot more sense if they want more kids to traffic....

Three panel comic. Panel 1: gym setting. One guy sees another guy across the gym with huge muscles. He remarks, “whoa! That dude is yolked!” Panel 2: a girl working out next to him says, “ugh, why do guys even want to get that big?” Panel 3: the extremely jacked guy is walking away with a slight smile. He is imagining himself dapping up a group of huge gorillas who are all happy and smiling, accepting him as one of their own.