Just sitting here overthinking exactly how many grammar errors to leave in master's thesis so they know AI didn't write it. #funny #student #graduation

Summary of parenting a six year old in 2025, "Wait, what's a bush wee? No, your birthday party theme can't be 6-7. When did you learn to speak Korean?"
#parenting #funny #kids

You know things are kinda bad when getting insurance to pay for a mammogram is the huge win you needed this week. Also... Am I so old, why was mammo waiting room music what I heard in highschool? #gettingold #womanproblems #funny #moms

While you spend hours reading job qualification requirements and deciding if you're qualified, remember, there is probably a mediocre white man with a business degree applying for a job as a rocket scientist because bros totally got this. #funny #men #confidence

My half Mexican child referred to a tortilla as "quesadilla bread" today. #spanishclassstartstomorrow #nosabokids #funny #kids #parenting

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you aren't failing, the capitalist system is failing. #capitalism #politics #sortafunny

I've never seen a more defeated face than the face of the poor boy at the grocery store at the beginning of thanksgiving season tasked with handing out samples of... Salad. #forthewin #sorrybuddy #funny #choicesweremade #groce

I burned my toast this morning 😭 at least now it matches the rest of the world burning around me. #breakfast #2024 #watchitburn #iguess #funny #politics

I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed, no, actually, I'm also mad. #2024 #rip #postindustrialhellscape

Spend hours cleaning your house so your dog has a blank canvas to puke all over. #funny #DOGS #pets #singlemom

Overheard on a university campus:
Girl 1: ooo! Anthropology! I love that store! Girl 2: no, I think that's something you study. 1: ohhh, what is it? 2: I think it's like something to do with stars. 🤦 #kidsthesedays #funny #anthropology #wrong

Today my child, 5, saw a picture of Scooby Doo and proceeded to refer to him as "Snoop Dog" for the rest of the day. I did not correct her.
@SnoopDogg
#kids #funnykids #mom #singlemomlife

No officer, I haven't been drinking, just handing snacks, toys, baby wipes, and bandaids back to my child every 30 seconds, actually... I wouldn't mind stepping out of the vehicle. #parenting #funny #comedy #momlife #singlemoms

I have reached peak parenting... Realized there was no tp in the bathroom and my child, 5, was tall enough to get some out and bring it to me. Achievement unlocked! #parenting #funny #momlife #singleparent

Just staring at a closet containing more clothes than any human person should own in order to choose one of the three items I always wear... #firstworldproblems #funny #womenswear #funnywomen #fashion

Why, when I Google any health issue, the answer is manage stress and anxiety? 😭 It can't just be like eat a carrot, it's always solve your most core life issues... Perfect, will do! #anxiety #HealthyHabits #funny

There are doors regularly flying off airplanes, but I know! Let's limit the agencies that actually have a tiny amount of power to protect us. RIP #chevrondoctrine . Screaming as we decend even further into our post decaying capitalist hellscape... #news

My dad has dementia and is totally unaware of current events, the other day he comes to me, very concerned "the weather is so weird, it seems different, it's almost like... Like the climate is... changing." My dad invented climate change. 😂 #climatechange #dementia #funny

My five year old came out of the kitchen and said "mama, I might have made a little bit of bad choices..."

I'm not looking in there, everyone get ready we're going out for dinner.

#parenting #kids #funny #singlemom #mom

I have a guilty pleasure of getting on my daughter's toca world after she goes to bed and reorganizing her houses... Instead of, you know, actually cleaning our real house. #Moms #momlife #parenting #funny

My 5 year old is currently melting down because I didn't take her to the Eiffel tower with me... 17 years before she was born. #parenting #kids #funny #singlemom

"Mama, why is there so much candy on my Easter basket?"
"I don't know, that seems like what goes in an Easter basket"
"Oh ya, because that's what Easter is all about, candy!"
I is best parent 😂 #kids #parenting #funny

When my boyfriend and I have a political disagreement we've decided that
@iamjohnoliver
is the paragon of correctness... Arguments solved 😂 #politics #relationshipgoals #advic

How is snow made?
My child, a scientist: "snow is made by Elsa and Santa to warn us that Christmas is coming."

#Disney #kids #momlife #kids #Science #funny

Omg update. She finally understood the irony, but instead of me getting privacy she decided "I don't really need privacy, I need you with me AT ALL TIMES!"

My 4yo in the bathroom: "mama, I need my privacy!"
Also my 4yo in the bathroom: "mama are you done yet, mama, I want you, mama!" I tried to reason with her, but as it turns out it does NOT go both ways for... Reasons. #parenting #funny #kids

If a school teacher has an onlyfans, don't fire them, fire the school board and law makers that under pay them. #teachers #education

My four year old, walking past a bridal dress display window, "Mama, when you grow up, you should get married."
I have failed. #parenting #kids #funny

There are so many goddamn sticks in my purse right now. #momlife #kids #funny #parent

My child, with a straight face, after I fed her, bathed her, and tucked her in, "mama, I love you, but you never do anything for me." 🤦 #momlife #kids #funny