If you’re so Goddamned lazy you have ask a fucking app what you should eat tonight, I don’t need your advice on anything

Alas...

The Habs may want to try shooting the puck on goal in overtime. But what do I know?

Sly & The Family Stone - Dance To The Music (Audio) YouTube video by SlyATFamilyStoneVEVO

#Cubs win! #CUBS WIN! EVERYBODY DANCE! youtu.be/Jn2PNlhvy8E?...

I admire the Sabres' (fake) comeback.

It's actually a fuckton.

Okay, it's only 17 men LOB, but it FEELS like 37.

The #Cubs have had the bases loaded 18 times and left 37 men on base tonight.

The #Cubs 2016 World Series victory.

Boy: I don't get that song. He keeps saying he won't do "that" for love. But what is "that?"

Man: That's the point, you have to answer that for yourself.

Woman: It's cunnilingus. He won't do cunnilingus.

It shouldn't be this hard to order Taco Bell.

KATIE!

Especially when the "scripture" is from Pulp Fiction.

Tangerine Palpatine is going to be mad that his bestie is hanging with Barack

WE'RE SINGING AGAIN ON THE NORTH SIDE, AND THE METS HAVE LOST 10 STRAIGHT!

Long-time sports gambler and cement shoes aficionado

Sly & The Family Stone - Dance To The Music (Audio) YouTube video by SlyATFamilyStoneVEVO

#Cubs win! CUBS WIN! EVERYBODY DANCE!

youtu.be/Jn2PNlhvy8E?...

He's got the tightest money line splits or something! And he totally won't strangle you with a phone cord if you can't pay, he promises!

"I'm Derek Stephens, a life-long degenerate who looks like he will kneecap you when he comes to collect. But don't worry about that. I want to be your new bookie, which is absolutely way too on the nose."

I fell off the balance beam once as a kid and said "nope, not for me" so the apparatus in general makes me both nervous and amazed at what gymnasts can do.

This chick digs Carson Kelly! #Cubs

You have absolutely no self-awareness, do you? Because you're a total fuck up.

If only we had known of the power of the pocket square to bring down authoritarians and fascists before this! We could have defeated the British, the Confederacy, and the Germans (twice!) without losing a single soldier!

I want that Kerry Wood bobblehead! #Cubs

Truly. That's also how so many women end up married.

Facebook! They're all best friends and so close as to be mistaken for family, I'm sure.

I was so hung up on the male WNBA player that I didn't even notice the Space Needles!

AI generated animated Seattle Storm player, complete with male features and mustache.

This is the AI version of the sexist trope, "Who would win if the [insert WNBA team] played [name any men's basketball team, even rec league]?"