Every day is a day closer to him not being here anymore.

😂😂😂

My mate passed out on a carousel but it's OK, he'll come round.
#humour #humoursky

Can we please turn the world off and on again?

Have you tried Belhaven Best? It's a Scottish bitter and it's gorgeous.

Can't complain at that price either.

If sesame oil is made from crushing sesame seeds and linseed oil is made from crushing linseed seeds, it stands to reason that motor oil is made by crushing motor seeds, right?
#humour #humoursky

The wife said "Pull my finger".
Took a while but it came off eventually.
#humour #humoursky

My therapist must be really good, because I don't have a therapist.
#humour #humoursky

All work and no play makes Jack wish he'd read the job description a little more thoroughly.
#humour #humoursky

@icspin.bsky.social Hi sir, thanks for the sub on YouTube. Much appreciated!

Soup implies the existence of sodown and tentatively, sosideways.
#humour #humoursky

Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains"
Doctor: *Writes out prescription for curtains*
#humour #humoursky

Doctor implies the existence of doctand and by extention, doctnot.
#humour #humoursky

I love a curry, but I wouldn't marry one.
#humour #humoursky

I can but I choose not to.

European obvs.

Yeah, but they didn't block it properly.

My mate tried to kill himself by gorging on beef fat but survived.
Attempted suetcide.
#humour #humoursky

We know the speed of light. But what's the speed of heavy?
#humour #humoursky

Whenever someone says "I'm going to Stick it to the man", I hope they sourced the correct adhesive.
#humour #humoursky

I used to go dogging down by the river, but must have used the wrong technique. I never once caught a dog.
#humour #humoursky

One false move with that knife....

Do you know what catches my eye?
A little basket underneath.
#humour #humoursky

Look MC Hammer, I don't WANT to touch this. I don't know where it's been. OK?
#humour #humoursky

The company I used to work for had a hot drinks vending machine. Among the delights was chicken soup. It was nothing like chicken. Or soup. It was bad. But one day, I hankered after one. I haven't been the same since.

Thanks for all your hard work.

1,000 followers!!!
Never mind, eh?

Nope.

I'm 4 followers off 1,000. Who'll be kind? There'll be a prize for the 1,000th one!
*There'll is no prize*