Blaeccch(sp?). I’m forcing myself to apply for jobs, I’m working on my taxes, and my 93 yr old Dad is in the hospital. It all feels somewhat . . . Stressful ATM #OCDTalkHour

And mindfulness meditation helps me to survive day-to-day, but hasn’t led to other behavioural changes #OCDTalkHour

Thank you Lucy; yes, my conflict avoidance can default to a frozen type of state. For quite some time I thought it was just another manifestation of OCD, but I start to get panicky when I read about planning ERP ladders. And I was aware of hypervigilance but hadn’t connected all dots #OCDTalkHour

So also evidence for a genetic component(s) as well(?). Two people who experience the same trauma do not always develop complex trauma later on.
It had not dawned on me that my hypervigilance these days, would be unlikely to yield to ERP.
#OCDTalkHour

Within one year I began to worry about going blind, or dying, or having an accident where I was separated from my family, or about a family member dying. The checking and hand washing came later. It’s an hypothesis. We’ll never know. My daughter had a different life but has OCD #OCDTalkHour

In my own case, when my symptoms progressed to an extreme fear of being sick/ill, from contamination with diet or germs, there was never a prior ever where I ingested something that made me ill. But the correlation is with the events when my parents divorced, we moved abroad, left dad. #OCDTalkHour

I “think” there can be a type of OCD where an event like being bitten by a dog might lead to an irrational fear of ______. What I am familiar with is where there is an event that is painful, destabilizing, and fear-filled that is correlated with the onset of more classical OCD symptoms.#OCDTalkHour

I learned some new things about genetics, and a bit about fMRI, but no game changers. Then we segued to my fave: Relationship to Traumatic childhood events.
Anyhow, here’s a new psychobabble speak term:
“Intolerance to uncertainty”
They coulda just asked us, ya know? #OCDTalkHour

After a successful exit, we could still cycle through, “What if I did it wrong? Should I go back and check?”
Spoiler Alert: No, do not go back. Get help, the sooner the better, don’t wait as along as I did.
On MON I asked Claude AI:
“What have you got for me about OCD?” It was interesting.

Leaving the Apt. included several variations of checking the electric stove top, such as, were all the knobs aligned (pointing to the OFF setting), were all the little red glow lights off? Evolved into touching burner, you know, just to be sure. Then it became the pattern, did I touch them “right”?

Brings back some strong memories for me (before diagnosis and treatment). In those days I was developing a meditation practice which for some reason involved lighting a candle and/or incense (I was living in Boulder, CO, so maybe not unusual?). Then I had to keep checking if they were REALLY “out”.

Which level? Can we make requests? My wife asked me the other night if I’ve ever read Dante’s inferno(?!?). I’m like there was a book on debugging Lisp I think, called the 8th level (or something like that). #OCDTalkHour

I was reminded of this phrase again the other day, “The feelings I’m feeling ARE real, but they are NOT true.”
#OCDTalkHour

Absolutely, 100 percent. Depressing, and potentially filled with regrets. My world kept shrinking until I started treatment. In other forms it’s still around. Basically selling myself on “I mean it’s not perfect but this is probably okay-ish?” “What, oh, it’s not okay for others??” #OCDTalkHour

You’re reading my mind again . . !!!

Yes. For me, avoidance can lead to painting myself into a proverbial corner. Having heated discussions with my wife triggers strong anxiety attacks (because I have an irrational fear that it will lead to a break up). Avoiding same has a negative impact so we’re closer to breaking up #OCDTalkHour

Exactamundo (a highly technical term)! #OCDTalkHour

3/n driving and . . . well you get the idea.
But OCD Fear may not always be so obvious and visceral. I think if you’ve had it a very long time (Ahem, referring to myself), it can become not quite subconscious, but ingrained and pernicious. So not as obvious but still causing distress
#OCDTalkHour

2/n where someone is almost hit by a car when they’re driving??” “I better not watch and shows like that, in case it triggers another spell of worrying”. Just Gardening shows and Cooking shows, those will be safe. “What if a guest on the gardening show talks about that time they were #OCDTalkHour

Normal fear is like: “Watch out! That car almost hit us!” Then it’s over, it dissipates.

OCD fear be like “What if a car hits me when I’m driving?” (now rinse and repeat until you’ve collapsed on the floor cowering and sniffling). OCD fear will grow, “What if I watch a TV program 1/n #OCDTalkHour

It was a very nice time; thank you. I’ll send you pic later. We went out to lunch and then there was a big dinner at his house where my sister cooked everything and brought it over, including his special dessert. He is quite hard of hearing (when he wants to be), and does enjoy napping .

3/n made sense to me when I later learned that some EDs respond to SSRIs. I am unfamiliar if current practice guidelines for EDs includes Rx. Can some EDs be viewed through a lens of wanting MORE control in one’s life (in general)? #OCDTalkHour

I am not an expert on any of these conditions, but I’ve lived with a housemate who had an ED, and one daughter (with OCD) also has GRID (I think that is the acronym, where you restrict what you eat to a list of “safe” items). When I started SSRIs, and they had a positive effect, it #OCDTalkHour

2/n an “Electrical fire and power outage”. Hmmmph. I was trying to time it so that I’d be on the treadmill during #OCDTalkHour, naturally.

I’m trying this response on for size: “I’m in a Dosal Vagal state right now . . . “, which basically means “Freeze” on that line of Fight/Flight/Freeze. But that’s just my best guess.
Can you believe it, I went to gym for the 1st time in over a week and it was closed!! Something 1/n
#OCDTalkHour

Sammy-Samster, it’s like y’all can read my mind (which is of course quite scary, because: Pub Trivia potential answers take up quite a lot of room, and it gets crowded). #OCDTalkHour. BTW what is wrong with the Unicorn fossil? It was that metacarpal wasn’t it? It might be from a platypus . . .

Whoah! PSA: Since North America started Daylight Savings Time last SUN this means #OCDTalkHour will be at 3:00 PM EDT Today (I think) (usual time for Eastern is 2:00 PM on WED, right?). IYKYK, @enoughofthis4.bsky.social

Yep, Today is my Dad’s 93rd Birthday, and I’m in Salinas with my Brothers & Sisters. How are you?

LOL

I am out West in Calif. and will be visiting with my project during #OCDTalkHour (unfortunately)