A scene in a leafy Spanish garden looking from behind a woman with long hair who is watching a woman dressed in purple reading from a folder. An arrangement of green and pink flowers and leaves is in the foreground, and a large number of empty champagne glasses are set out on a wooden table.

On today’s blog, a fascinating guest post by Glynis German, a celebrant and end of life doula living and working in Mallorca.

www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/2025/08/sayi...

We would like to #BuyAStrangerABook - "When This Is Over: Reflections on an Unequal Pandemic," which has a section on the Wall, including a contribution from one of our trustees, @franfd.bsky.social. ❤️

To clarify some misunderstandings we've been hearing... ❤️

The Good Funeral Guide believes knowledge is power. The more you know about funerals in advance, the more in control you can be when you need to be.

A quote on a black background. The quote reads: (In red) Did you know… Currently, in the UK, anyone can set themselves up as a funeral director…

A quote on a black background. The quote reads: You can literally walk out of prison one day, and open a funeral business the next. And we have heard of people who have done exactly this. Convicted fraudsters. Convicted criminals.

A quote on a black background. The quote reads: To become a funeral director: no licence is required no background check or DBS check is required no minimum standard of education is required no minimum standard of facilities is required

One thing that most people don’t realise is that, as yet, there is no regulator involved with funeral directing.

This means that anybody can set up a funeral directing business. No matter what their background. Just pop ‘Richard Sage funeral director’ into your search engine!

A quote on a dark green background. The quote reads: “I don’t want a funeral”

A quote on a dark green background. The quote reads: “But you won’t be there!!” “Isn’t it about what we’ll need?”

A quote on a dark green background. The quote reads: “Also, why don’t you want a funeral?”

A quote on a dark green background. The quote reads: “Shall we talk about that?”

Not wanting a funeral.

This is the most common reason for people choosing a direct cremation, according to the responses to our questionnaire.

45% of responders say ‘The person specifically did not want a funeral ceremony’, with ‘not wanting a fuss’ second and ‘cost’ third.

So interesting!

A quote on a green background. The quote reads: ‘Direct cremation: the words of bereaved people: “It’s as if the death wasn’t totally real, so grieving was harder and more isolating. I still struggle with it now.”’

A quote on a green background. The quote reads: ‘Direct cremation: the words of bereaved people: “Direct cremation is so painful for those who remain. I feel that funerals are more important. Years later, I still regret the choice to go for direct cremation. I think it takes away so much and makes grieving much harder. I’d never do one again.”’

A quote on a green background. The quote reads: ‘Direct cremation: the words of bereaved people: “I was devastated as me and my family wanted to say one last goodbye. It was upsetting not knowing where he was or if he was being properly looked after.”’

A quote on a beige background. The quote reads: ‘Direct cremation: the words of bereaved people: “I don’t feel we needed to say goodbye after death.”’

Direct cremation.

Many people have shared their thoughts with us, the majority explaining how they found this experience to be a difficult one.

If someone close to you chose a direct cremation we’d love to hear from you - find the questionnaire here:

www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/direct-crema...

Quotes on a pink background. The quotes read: “Generally stressful and expensive” and “I cannot think of one funeral I have been to that really captured the essence of the person.”

Quotes on a pink background. The quotes read: “Heavy, old fashioned, dictated by funeral directors” and “Sad. Draining. Surreal. A little false.”

Quotes on a pink background. The quotes read: “Too sad, too strictly organised, too religious” and “The sensitive selling and being coerced into spending more and more.”

Quotes on a pink background. The quotes read: “Upsetting, expensive, meaningless” and “Depressing and sombre.”

When a huge change happens (and 1 in 5 deaths resulting in a direct cremation is a HUGE change!) there are reasons for it.

If the funeral sector isn’t willing to step up & change, the rise of online direct cremation providers will continue.

We are being told this loud and clear.

#funeralsmatter

A square green background with white writing and the circular logo of the Good Funeral Guide. The writing says in large letters in quotation marks ‘I don’t want a fuss’

A square green background with white writing and the circular logo of the Good Funeral Guide. The writing says in large letters in quotation marks ‘But we want to make a fuss of you.. you’re important’

Opting for a direct cremation from an online provider takes away the opportunity for your family and friends to be in the presence of your body for a ceremony of goodbye.

It’s not the gift you might think it to be.

Think carefully - is this really what you want?

#funeralsmatter

An AI generated image of a plain coffin on a catafalque in an empty crematorium chapel.

Direct cremation.

(AI generated image because direct cremation = nobody there to take photos)

Just a reminder that we are gathering thoughts from people who have experienced someone choosing direct cremation - our questionnaire can be reached here:

www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/direct-crema...

British paper money is spread out on a table, with multiple £20, £10 and £5 notes.

On today’s blog, some suggestions about how to keep costs down when arranging a funeral.

www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/2025/06/fune...

A group of people dressed in brightly coloured inflatable cartoon animal costumes are gathered next to a funeral hearse. High above them, a woman with red hair dressed in black and white stripey tights and a black top is leaning back and posing on a huge branch of a tree.

A red haired woman dressed in black leans over a coffin that has been entirely covered with playing cards, notes, pictures and messages. The coffin is in front of the open rear door of a vehicle. A man stands behind the woman looking on as she focuses on a card with a blue picture on it.

A group of people smartly dressed in black gather around a colourfully decorated coffin covered with messages, pictures and playing cards.

Two women dressed in cartoon animal inflatable costumes smile for the camera. In the foreground a woman wearing a pink bunny costume makes the peace sign with her fingers. Just behind her, a woman wearing a brown pony costume holds a glass of champagne up in a toast.

Inspirational funerals.

This is a funeral.

It is the funeral of the Amazing Guy, magician Thom Peterson, who died on March 8th 2023, aged just 58.

So much love and thanks to Thom’s wife Anna for giving us permission to share these photos of Thom’s amazing and totally befitting funeral
❤️🖤

And we are so in awe of the strength and resilience of the bereaved volunteers who look after the National Covid Memorial Wall and who support and represent millions of UK covid-bereaved.

It’s never too late to honour those who died so tragically and the Wall is an incredible symbol of such honour.

A quote on a dark green background. The quote reads: “Once you remove as many of the obstacles as you can, physical and psychological, that prevent people from actually being in the presence of their dead, something extraordinary happens. It becomes normal. Or, if not normal, then a natural path of life. The people immediately around it lose their disempowered helplessness and become an active part of it.” The quote is attributed to Rupert Callender.

Thought for the day - another powerful insight from radical undertaker (and our good friend) @wayswithweirds.bsky.social

The great mystery of death - and the grief and love and loss that accompany it - is part of our human experience.

Facing it full on can change us profoundly.

#funeralsmatter

A quote on a pink background. The quote reads: “Family-led funerals, community controlled funerals, when people that knew that person service that death, and that body, and that funeral - that is traditional.” Zenith Virago

‘Traditional’ funerals.

Our patron @zenithvirago has a take on this. And we agree.

All so called ‘progressive’ funeral directors are the traditional ones, offering gentle, person-led communal services, led by the needs of bereaved people.

Industrial funerals are not traditional!

#funeralsmatter

A quote on a dark green background. The quote reads: “Only once you are dead can the full arc of your life be clearly seen, and telling that story out loud and truthfully to the people who shared it is a powerful social act that both binds us together and places us within our culture. Even without the moral structures of religion, we have so much to learn about ourselves from the death of others.” Rupert Callender

Wisdom from @wayswithweirds.bsky.social

We reject the experience of ceremony after death at our peril.

This is why we are looking at the rapidly growing phenomenon of direct cremation - please tell us about your experience here:

www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/direct-crema...

A close up shot of two people holding coffin straps with a coffin covered in flowers in front of them.

A close up shot of two people dressed in black holding straps supporting a white coffin

A close up shot of a young person’s hand holding a coffin strap supporting a willow coffin covered in flowers.

A close up shot of two people standing next to an open grave holding the straps of a coffin.

Lowering a coffin.

If you want to, you can do this.

While this last act is often carried out by funeral staff, you have every right to lower the coffin of someone you love into their grave.

Most burial grounds will be supportive of family involvement - a few may not be, but times are changing.

Two groups of children and an adult gather closely around a brightly decorated cardboard coffin with pens in their hands.

Two children stand among a group of adults who are seen through a window.

A dark haired woman holds a baby of around 6 or 7 months age. They are both looking at a willow coffin which is decorated with lilac coloured flowers. Next to the coffin is a sponge cake with jam and cream.

A young, fair haired boy in a beige jacket stands in front of a small cream coloured woollen coffin which has a lit candle behind it. Three adults support the boy, watching what he is doing.

Children at funerals.

We’re big supporters of this.

With careful preparation and conversations beforehand, children can definitely be part of the funeral of someone important in their lives.

#funeralsmatter

A quote on a pale green background. The quote reads: ‘Direct cremation. The words of bereaved people. “Someone we know died at the weekend, he was there on Friday and gone when we expected to see him on Monday. With no funeral, we donated to his chosen charity but other than that he just disappeared. I found that really hard and I know other people did too.”

A quote on a pale beige background. The quote reads: ‘Direct cremation. The words of bereaved people. “Easy. Simple. Fuss-free. Meant I could plan a decent memorial rather than be held to outdated and rigid social constructions of funerals unchanged since the Victorian times.”

A quote on a pale green background. The quote reads: ‘Direct cremation. The words of bereaved people. “We were hoping to light a candle or visit a church to remember silently but we were not told that my dad’s body had been taken to the crematorium and he had been cremated.”

A quote on a pale beige background. The quote reads: ‘Direct cremation. The words of bereaved people. “We were comfortable with our choice and after we marked the time, carried on to work.”

Direct cremation.

Such interesting responses to our questionnaire are coming in, reflecting a wide spectrum of thoughts.

Have you had this experience?

Tell us about it here: www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/direct-crema...

#directcremation

A young woman, a man and a blonde woman in a blue suit sitting in a pew at a crematorium, with a small pale cream dog sitting next to them.

A black Patterdale terrier wearing a red coat standing on its hind legs with its head against a grey woollen coffin in the back of a black hearse. Two women and a man are smiling as they look at the dog.

Dogs at funerals - we love to see them!

When you’re saying goodbye to someone you love and a dog is part of your family, bringing them to the funeral can help everyone.

#funerals
#funeralsmatter
#dogsarefamily

A quote in green font on a pinkish background, reading “The ceremony is a rite of passage. It’s a rite of passage for the body to disappear, and it’s a rite of passage for the people”. The quote is attributed to Zenith Virago.

A quote in green font on a pinkish background, reading “There are three stages to that - separation, challenge and return (or any three words that are similar to those)”. The quote is attributed to Zenith Virago.

A quote in green font on a pinkish background, reading “and when I’ve worked from that perspective, which I’ve always done, I saw that what I was giving those people in that hour and a half was a total workshop in trauma work, and a whole lot of other layers, taking them in, feeling it fully and letting them go at the end.” The quote is attributed to Zenith Virago.

A quote in green font on a pinkish background, reading “And the way you structure that, the way you add content to that - it’s a work of art.” The quote is attributed to Zenith Virago.

The importance of a funeral - we need these rites of passage.

#Funeralsmatter
#Ceremoniesmatter

Two witw women’s hands touching a cardboard coffin with rope handles, decorated with pictures, with a bouquet of wildflowers on top.

A child’s hand touching a cream felt shroud.

A white man’s hand touching a grey woollen coffin. On top of the coffin is a red mug, a teddy bear and a green and grey rucksack.

Two hands touching a small, cream coloured woollen coffin.

That last touch - such a powerful moment.

Sometimes, people feel unsure about what’s allowed or what’s appropriate at a funeral.

It’s absolutely ok to touch the coffin, to let your hand linger as you say goodbye to your person.

#funeralsmatter

Four people casually dressed carefully holding a grey woollen coffin in their hands overseen by a man in a grey suit. They are in front of a large window overlooking the grounds of a crematorium.

The weight of grief.

Carrying the coffin of someone you love.

They are your person, and if you want to do this, then you can.

Bearing the weight of your person in their coffin can help to imprint the reality of their death as you begin to navigate life without them.

Funerals matter.

An empty crematorium with a simple coffin on the catafalque

Direct Cremation.

A rapidly growing alternative to a funeral that is heavily marketed on daytime TV, yet there is little research into how bereaved people feel about it.

We have created an anonymous questionnaire which can be found here:

www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/direct-crema...

Please share!

Yes, there’s a long way to go before assisted dying becomes legally possible here, assuming that it eventually does.

The bill now goes to the committee stage for scrutiny and potential amendments. Timewise, it could be up to two years for this bill in its final form to receive royal assent.

Two hands holding each other lit by dappled sunlight.

Friday’s momentous vote on the Assisted Dying Bill will potentially change the way we live and die here in England and Wales.

On today’s blog, we mark this significant move and welcome the conversations it will undoubtedly bring.

www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/2024/12/assi...

Photo shows the front cover of a booklet featuring a great woollen coffin on trestles in a crematorium. The booklet is entitled ‘Burial and Cremation, Summary of the Consultation Paper’ and is produced by The Law Commission.

There is currently a consultation into reform of UK Burial and Cremation law underway, closing on January 9th.

Run by The Law Commission, this is a long awaited opportunity to bring law in this area into the 21st century.

Do please take a look & add your thoughts.

lawcom.gov.uk/project/buri...

Divine Ceremony | Good Funeral Guide Directory Who’s who? Dee Ryding is the founder and owner of Divine Ceremony. Inspiring, intelligent and immensely likeable, Dee has been working in and around funerals in Bristol for more than fifteen years, an...

Our latest addition to our list of Recommended funeral directors is the wonderful Divine Ceremony in Bristol.

Read our review here:

directory.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/funeral-dire...

And if anyone would like to use photos of inspirational, modern funerals, help yourself to images from our gallery here: www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/gallery/

Here’s our lovely website, full of useful information for anyone who needs to think about organising a funeral.

www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk

Finally landed in BlueSky - if you’ve met us before, do please follow so we can start building a community again on another (non toxic) platform.

For all things related to improving the way we do funerals here in the UK.