#Funeralsmatter

Quotes on a pink background. The quotes read: “Generally stressful and expensive” and “I cannot think of one funeral I have been to that really captured the essence of the person.”

Quotes on a pink background. The quotes read: “Heavy, old fashioned, dictated by funeral directors” and “Sad. Draining. Surreal. A little false.”

Quotes on a pink background. The quotes read: “Too sad, too strictly organised, too religious” and “The sensitive selling and being coerced into spending more and more.”

Quotes on a pink background. The quotes read: “Upsetting, expensive, meaningless” and “Depressing and sombre.”

When a huge change happens (and 1 in 5 deaths resulting in a direct cremation is a HUGE change!) there are reasons for it.

If the funeral sector isn’t willing to step up & change, the rise of online direct cremation providers will continue.

We are being told this loud and clear.

#funeralsmatter

A square green background with white writing and the circular logo of the Good Funeral Guide. The writing says in large letters in quotation marks ‘I don’t want a fuss’

A square green background with white writing and the circular logo of the Good Funeral Guide. The writing says in large letters in quotation marks ‘But we want to make a fuss of you.. you’re important’

Opting for a direct cremation from an online provider takes away the opportunity for your family and friends to be in the presence of your body for a ceremony of goodbye.

It’s not the gift you might think it to be.

Think carefully - is this really what you want?

#funeralsmatter

A quote on a dark green background. The quote reads: “Once you remove as many of the obstacles as you can, physical and psychological, that prevent people from actually being in the presence of their dead, something extraordinary happens. It becomes normal. Or, if not normal, then a natural path of life. The people immediately around it lose their disempowered helplessness and become an active part of it.” The quote is attributed to Rupert Callender.

Thought for the day - another powerful insight from radical undertaker (and our good friend) @wayswithweirds.bsky.social

The great mystery of death - and the grief and love and loss that accompany it - is part of our human experience.

Facing it full on can change us profoundly.

#funeralsmatter

A quote on a pink background. The quote reads: “Family-led funerals, community controlled funerals, when people that knew that person service that death, and that body, and that funeral - that is traditional.” Zenith Virago

‘Traditional’ funerals.

Our patron @zenithvirago has a take on this. And we agree.

All so called ‘progressive’ funeral directors are the traditional ones, offering gentle, person-led communal services, led by the needs of bereaved people.

Industrial funerals are not traditional!

#funeralsmatter

Two groups of children and an adult gather closely around a brightly decorated cardboard coffin with pens in their hands.

Two children stand among a group of adults who are seen through a window.

A dark haired woman holds a baby of around 6 or 7 months age. They are both looking at a willow coffin which is decorated with lilac coloured flowers. Next to the coffin is a sponge cake with jam and cream.

A young, fair haired boy in a beige jacket stands in front of a small cream coloured woollen coffin which has a lit candle behind it. Three adults support the boy, watching what he is doing.

Children at funerals.

We’re big supporters of this.

With careful preparation and conversations beforehand, children can definitely be part of the funeral of someone important in their lives.

#funeralsmatter

A young woman, a man and a blonde woman in a blue suit sitting in a pew at a crematorium, with a small pale cream dog sitting next to them.

A black Patterdale terrier wearing a red coat standing on its hind legs with its head against a grey woollen coffin in the back of a black hearse. Two women and a man are smiling as they look at the dog.

Dogs at funerals - we love to see them!

When you’re saying goodbye to someone you love and a dog is part of your family, bringing them to the funeral can help everyone.

#funerals
#funeralsmatter
#dogsarefamily

A quote in green font on a pinkish background, reading “The ceremony is a rite of passage. It’s a rite of passage for the body to disappear, and it’s a rite of passage for the people”. The quote is attributed to Zenith Virago.

A quote in green font on a pinkish background, reading “There are three stages to that - separation, challenge and return (or any three words that are similar to those)”. The quote is attributed to Zenith Virago.

A quote in green font on a pinkish background, reading “and when I’ve worked from that perspective, which I’ve always done, I saw that what I was giving those people in that hour and a half was a total workshop in trauma work, and a whole lot of other layers, taking them in, feeling it fully and letting them go at the end.” The quote is attributed to Zenith Virago.

A quote in green font on a pinkish background, reading “And the way you structure that, the way you add content to that - it’s a work of art.” The quote is attributed to Zenith Virago.

The importance of a funeral - we need these rites of passage.

#Funeralsmatter
#Ceremoniesmatter

Two witw women’s hands touching a cardboard coffin with rope handles, decorated with pictures, with a bouquet of wildflowers on top.

A child’s hand touching a cream felt shroud.

A white man’s hand touching a grey woollen coffin. On top of the coffin is a red mug, a teddy bear and a green and grey rucksack.

Two hands touching a small, cream coloured woollen coffin.

That last touch - such a powerful moment.

Sometimes, people feel unsure about what’s allowed or what’s appropriate at a funeral.

It’s absolutely ok to touch the coffin, to let your hand linger as you say goodbye to your person.

#funeralsmatter