Another laurel for my Jett Black Tattoos collection.

Added a couple of episodes of Codebreakers that I wrote to the 'Play' section if you fancy watching a mini spy sitcom!

www.loudmind.co.uk/play

LOUDMIND website homepage

Just put my new website up with a selection of scripts and shenanigans from the last few years. loudmind.co.uk

A woman who claimed twenty-three grand in benefits saying she was too ill to go out has been caught surfing and ziplining in Mexico. In fairness, she said she couldn't go outside. She never mentioned anything about going loco down in Acapulco.

#BTN #BTNRejects

Fundraisers have secured £1.1 million to restore Scotland's largest glasshouse as a "living ruin". Or as it's known in Edinburgh, a one-bed doer-upper below market rates.

#BTN #BTNRejects

Efforts to remove invasive stoats from Orkney have given a boost to native voles and birds of prey. Nigel Farage was quick to praise this example of a successful deportation policy.

#BTN #BTNRejects

Stella McCartney has won approval for a clifftop home in the Highlands despite sixty-five objections. Earlier in the planning application she was asked, "Will you still deed it, will you still screed it, when you've sixty four?"

#BTN #BTNRejects

A judge in Brazil has blocked plans for a zipline from Sugarloaf Mountain. He's also rejected the birds and the bees and the cigarette trees and the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings.

#BTN #BTNRejects

Local election candidates faced gruelling questions from school children at a heated Edinburgh hustings. "We couldn't believe what was coming out of their mouths", said one kid.

#BTN #BTNRejects

Jett Black Tattoos is a finalist in the Oxford Script Awards 2026!!! Whoop whoop!

“We can make more money as a restaurant by firing all our chefs and waiters, not making any more meals, fitting a septic tank, serving customers food they've already eaten before (plates full of literal shit) and then give them the bill, plus service and gratuity."

Yeah we get the international versions of White House publications. I think the US edition has pages missing. Ours came with the full appendices and a warning sticker.

Dominican Republic, yeah

@thedailyshow.com I dare you to broadcast this. I double dare you.

It's worse than I thought @beat-nick.bsky.social

It’s Health and Safety gone mad, Nikolai.

We live in a post-satire world.

Amazing news! Echo Chamber was just selected as a Quarter Finalist by SCRIPTWRITERS & CO INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL. Let's hope it gets to the final! Cheers for the accolade already @scriptsandco.bsky.social - quarter final is cool - but I do have my sights set on bettering Jett Black from last year!

Just accidentally grabbed my shirt tail whilst wiping my arse and rubbed shite on it, if anyone's wondering how my day is going?

Amazing present I got for my 50th from my mate! He’s a portrait photographer and took this pic of my tattooist who inspired the main character in my sitcom pilot. Jett Black made real!

Well that's Boxing Day sorted! And get rid of the thin business socks I'll inevitably get.

Well done Mags! I got one in as well. Good luck.

Submitted my new radio comedy-drama to the #BBC Writers Open Call... just in the nick of time. Godspeed you magnificent bastard.

M&S has launched ‘secret support’ pants for men. Economists are calling it the first sign of positive inflation.

#BTN #BTNRejects

Elon Musk says Scots live like Hobbits which is ironic, coming from a man who looks like Gollum if he was raised on deep-fried Mars Bars.

#BTN #BTNRejects

The North Sea oil field turns 50 this year and like most 50-year-olds, it’s leaking more than it used to.

#BTN #BTNRejects

My psychiatrist doesn’t believe in labels. But how else will I remember which jar is whose head.

Couple of shots of me doing a ‘Hitchcock’ cameo in Codebreakers

This weekend’s shooting on Codebreakers is going well

A few more shots from Codebreakers… including the first glimpse of Max on the Speedmaster 3000