A light up C-3PO head used in Star Wars episode V-The Empire Strikes Back has sold at auction for 1 million dollars. I went to the auction myself hoping to bid on it but was told "This is not the droid you're looking for"
#BTNREJECTS
Italy have failed to qualify for the third world cup in a row after losing on penalties to Bosnia Herzegovina. Many across Italy are practicing damage limitation, by checking online family trees to see if they've got any Scottish ancestors.
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Astronauts are on their way to the moon after Artemis II blasted off from Florida on Wednesday. The four crew members are travelling in a capsule named integrity, as it seems fitting to have integrity speeding away from Earth while Donald Trump is president.
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Jamie Lee Curtis won an Oscar for Everything Everywhere All At Once, a film about how many seats the SNP will have to win this May to start talking about another Independence Referendum.
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Sir Billy Connolly's favourite piece at Kelvingrove Art Gallery is Fulton's Grand Orrery, a working model of the solar system. The gift shop also sells an adapted version for any Flat-Earthers visiting, called a map.
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Things are so bad with ferries in the Scottish Islands that Calmac have resorted to what they're calling the cross-channel solution, they're dropping passengers in the sea and hoping the RNLI take them to their destination.
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Isle of Islay, the first of four new Calmac ferries built in Turkey for the Scottish Islands, entered service on Monday after teething troubles, a common complaint from anyone who's had work done in Turkey.
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Experts warn that the crisis in the middle east could lead to chaos and plunge us back into the 1970s: news that's terrible to politicians and car owners, but great for fans of Showaddywaddy
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Plans to restore Scotland's largest glasshouse have taken a step forward after the trust caring for it secured £1.1m in funding. Springburn Winter Gardens closed in 1983 after storm damage, and the unwise idea of holding the world stone throwing championships.
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A woman has gone on trial accused of trying to k1ll her stepfather by lacing his kebab with poison. Police say the suspect confessed after a long grilling, which they did by putting her in a shop window and turning her really slowly.
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Late on Wednesday night, NASA launched the Artemis II spacecraft “Integrity”. Asked what he thought about Integrity, President Donald Trump said, ‘I don’t know what you mean’.
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Eight CalMac ferries are currently out of service, having been commandeered by the Royal Navy, who are even shorter of boats than the Western Isles.
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It's been confirmed that the King and Queen will welcome Charles and Camilla to the US later this month.
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Jamie Lee Curtis is also known for her role in True Lies. That too is getting remade, daily during President Trump’s briefings. #BTNNB #BTNRejects #LittleBitOfPoliticsThere
A woman who claimed more than £23,000 in benefits, saying she was too ill to go outside, was caught surfing and ziplining in Mexico. Suspicions were aroused on a home visit as when asked where her pills were, she started whacking a Piñata. #BTNNB #BTNRejects
A Tesco store in Kirkwall has been giving away bananas after accidentally ordering around 38,000 of them, almost twice Orkney’s population. When they asked the head of buying why they’d ordered so many, they replied [DES DOES MONKEY/CHIMP NOISES] (You’re welcome, Des!) #BTNNB #BTNRejects
A woman who claimed twenty-three grand in benefits saying she was too ill to go out has been caught surfing and ziplining in Mexico. In fairness, she said she couldn't go outside. She never mentioned anything about going loco down in Acapulco.
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Fundraisers have secured £1.1 million to restore Scotland's largest glasshouse as a "living ruin". Or as it's known in Edinburgh, a one-bed doer-upper below market rates.
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Efforts to remove invasive stoats from Orkney have given a boost to native voles and birds of prey. Nigel Farage was quick to praise this example of a successful deportation policy.
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Stella McCartney has won approval for a clifftop home in the Highlands despite sixty-five objections. Earlier in the planning application she was asked, "Will you still deed it, will you still screed it, when you've sixty four?"
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A judge in Brazil has blocked plans for a zipline from Sugarloaf Mountain. He's also rejected the birds and the bees and the cigarette trees and the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings.
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Local election candidates faced gruelling questions from school children at a heated Edinburgh hustings. "We couldn't believe what was coming out of their mouths", said one kid.
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My script edit for this:
Studies say STIs are increasing among older age groups. The unexpected rises are thought to be down to Viagra.
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Students at a Scottish university were asked to design a tartan to mark the 250th anniversary of the American Declaration of Independence. ‘What’s independence?’ they replied.
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Dame Sarah Mullally, the first female Archbishop of Canterbury, was officially installed this week. 2,000 guests were asked to arrive at the Cathedral at 9am on Wednesday, but the engineer didn’t turn up until 5.
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Studies say STIs are increasing among older age groups. These massive up-ticks are thought to be down to Viagra.
#BTNRejects #BTN
The new premium Scotland away shirt will set fans back £120, marking the first time that men’s clothes have been hit by the pink tax.
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Plug-in solar panels are coming to UK supermarkets, which means even more people will be charging up Aldi’s middle aisle.
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A Dairy has upped production of 70's staple Cottage Cheese, after social media trends caused record demand. Thanks to the war in the middle east, people are also predicting a rise in other things common in the 70's, like petrol rationing, and the three-day week
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How you walk can show your state of mind according to new research from Japan. Fear and sadness are shown through small swings of the arms, while anger and aggression have much bigger swings, usually at someone's head.
