“Fido, you gotta help me, they’ve cut off one of my dimensions.”

Inventory.

On two antibiotics. I'd prefer someone hid these in a piece of cheese and tricked me into eating them.

Streaking across a nudist colony wearing three tuxedos

Lots of people know that prehistoric sea turtles got big, but it can be easy to underestimate just how huge these things got. The largest verified specimen of a modern Leatherback turtle weighed in at 1,433 lbs, but this Archelon would have been closer to 11,300 lbs. #scicomm #paleosky #paleontology

My timeline's absolutely flooded by women replying to posts, even though they're not posting much. (I should probably change my settings to hide replies, but I've found them useful in finding twitter friends.)

I'm glad you made it back! Did you have a good time there, regardless?

Argh, being sick while traveling is the worst.

Damn, let's all take it easy and get better xx

Was supposed to dogsit a friend's dog this weekend, but I'm suddenly running a fever and I feel awful. I'll still dogsit, but I can't do long walkies on my own.

Been a while since I’ve done any photorealism

Woke up with the leaping nuns song in my head. Going to take a lot of coffee to get rid of it.

british constable, 1757: parliament says to stop putting chalk in the bread

modern CEO, transported back in time, trying to disrupt bread industry: what if i pay a contractor to put the chalk in the bread

constable: you cannot add chalk

CEO: what if i deliver the chalk bread to your house

Someone's beating a carpet outside, and by the sound of it they have no idea what they're doing.

Took me so long to figure out this was the Culinary Institute of America

Hello there!

There’s a minor character called Vespasian in William Gibson’s Peripheral books, a deviant who takes over alternate timelines and drives them to destruction for his own amusement, basically setting himself up as an evil god. Can’t think why he springs to mind right now.

[exam room]

me: *waits patiently*

doctor: *enters physicianly*

Just multiple stuff all at once, not all bad but not all good either x
(I'm in masto but it's so quiet there that I rarely ever visit)

Sometimes I wish everyone here had a little box under their names that showed when they were trying to get something written. And you could send them encouraging hearts when it'd take far too long,

*Types stuff, deletes it, types more stuff, deletes it too* anxiety and second-guessing myself again

Everything is terrible and I'm so tired. Pls send concrete examples of things that aren't terrible (if there are any left)

"Good morning"

Replies:

Mastodon - "Depends what you mean by good, and which time zone you're in"

Threads - "Please leave that passive aggressive stuff at the bird site, thank you"

Bluesky - "Yay, this is just like Twitter in old days when we said good morning to each other whatever time it was"

I wouldn't mind it, it used to be a good place.

This was supposed to go out on the front porch but she’s decided it’s her new best friend and won’t let it out of her sight. Fuck.

Wow, my first bluesky pornbot block

Just this.

Saw a dog. Spent rest of the day thinking about dog

Oh look! I'm over here too!

www.instagram.com/mundy_morn/