To #RejectionIsland, for a cartoon that didn't get used.

I wonder whether he'll know which part of London he's in when his phone's stolen later this evening.

Also delighted that the original cartoon has been acquired by the @cromwellmuseum.bsky.social

Pleased to have a cartoon in the new @privateeyenews.bsky.social . Here's one from the previous edition.

As far as I'm aware, everyone involved survived spending an extended time with JD Vance. In that sense, the talks probably went better than expected.

Standard cycle:
Anger- that your friend Epstein is dead
Denial- that you knew your friend Epstein
Bargaining- with the media to move on from your friend Epstein
Depression- intense sadness that only bombing someone can alleviate
Acceptance- that you must try to resurrect your friend Epstein

Lord of the Vance (reprise).

Of course.

To #RejectionIsland, for this week's unused cartoon.

William Shatner narrated the US version.

"Fwoooooooop", "Peeeeeeewww", "Vreeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

*swanee whistle noises*
(One for The @cartoonmovement.com)

I think future historians sifting through our ruins will infer that this pageant symbolised the dual authority of the King. That, at times of crisis, he would have to choose between the doe-eyed bunny to his left who embodied peace and the scowling creature on his right which represented war.

The fact that the Hungarian opposition waited until the moment J.D Vance arrived in Hungary to leak a recording of this conversation between Orbán and Putin, is soooo delicious.

Ah, Greenland. To distract from the war, that was to distract from the files, that were to distract from the ICE spree, that was to distract from Greenland (again), that was to distract from the files (again).
He's like a carousel where every horse is a toilet.

He is not here.

One of mine from the previous edition of The Critic Magazine.

(I'm sure the Board are going to launch into action any day now...)

It's #RejectionIsland day. And #GoodFriday too. So here's an unused cartoon.

Artemis II has successfully launched. The Space Launch System rocket took off from Cape Canaveral, Florida.

Rising above.
A cartoon drawn for the @cartoonmovement.com
#nasa #moon #artemis #cartoon

Pleased to have a cartoon in the new Private Eye. Here's one of mine from the previous edition.

Rainy day, family games, and the swamp monster is disturbed.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is. Chuck Norris cannot turn left, because he is always right. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris doesn't tip the waiter. The waiter tips him. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold. If rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper, and paper beats rock, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris. Time waits for no man, unless that man is Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris left home, he told his father: "You're the man of the house now." Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris doesn't do a push up. He pushes the world down. Chuck Norris has to sleep with the lights on because the dark is afraid of him. When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters. Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories at the campfire. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be in the same planet with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever. Chuck Norris had a stunt double. He was used for crying scenes. Chuck Norris didn't dial the wrong number. You picked up the wrong phone. They once named a street after Chuck Norris, but they had to change the name because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives to tell about it.

To #RejectionIsland, for a cartoon that didn't get used.

Re-re-brand.

I don't know the story behind this photo, but I assume it's when you've paid for years of voice coaching and suddenly realise you sound like a knackered kazoo.

A 'significant prize' that's presumably one of:
a) imaginary
b) a good, old fashioned cash bribe to go away
c) the 'The Tehran Peace Prize'
d) a big wooden horse full of Iranian soldiers

I'm not sure which possibility is more worrying - that the US bumbled into this war without a plan, or that this cake and arse party *is* the plan.

To #RejectionIsland, for an unused cartoon about a different island.

I think everyone really thinks that *someone* can tell Trump what to do.