I don't rate mornings. I don't know why we bother. Nothing good ever happens during them.

BBC 'Gay Refugee' probe sparks political arms race as parties unveil rival orientation audits WESTMINSTER — Britain's political class has descended into a full-blown 'orientation emergency' with a story instantly dubbed 'clickbait crack cocaine'

The key to hard hitting journalism is to go beneath the surface to find the real stories #writers #writingcommunity #writerscommunity #satire #comedy #humour #comedywriting

Nigel Farage Under Investigation For Sheep Worrying Police are investigating multiple reports of 'aggravated livestock worrying' in the Romney Marsh area, following claims that local flocks have been subjected to 'prolonged and distressing geopolitical...

My latest scoop for #newsbiscuit www.newsbiscuit.com/post/nigel-f...

Welcome to the bionic man club. Your membership is in the post.

I much prefer it here. Twitter felt like bathing in turd.

I know who will appreciate this @carrieb939.bsky.social

Some kittens have that wonderful expression of not quite being sure of what they are doing, where they are and what it all means. A bit like me I think.

What on Earth is he is so angry about? Honest to god if he turned up on my bird feeder I’d move house.

This haunts me.

“What is the secret to your success?” is possibly the most stupid question on Earth. Nobody is going to answer that truthfully. Because it’s a secret.

The #bbcnews team really are a laughing stock. Still quoting casualty figures from the Hamas Ministry of Health as if they are facts.

I have been thinking a lot about conkers. Who was the first person who looked at a chestnut and thought I know, I’m gonna put that on a piece of string and attack people with it. The human mind is a curious beast.

Heartbreak still blows my mind. It comes in as many shapes and sizes as people do, yet somehow grief blazes hotter.

She gave her blanket to a young man with a stomach ulcer. Even the worst of times there is an auspicious beauty in some people.

Just been chatting to an elderly lady who has been left sitting in a corridor for 18 hours. No family. Nobody to fight for her. #MidAntrimHospital at its finest.

Welcome to the United Kingdom. Welcome to the NHS. Welcome to a country that no longer cares about its people.

It is now daylight. In one hour it will be 24 hours since the pain was first reported. Since then we have seen 1 doctor and 6 corridors.

We pay an insurance of sorts to reassure ourselves that someone will be there in our darkest hours. And they are not. All I can see are people in pain, people who are ill, who are forgotten and left to suffer in corridors.

They took a urine sample and promptly lost it. They denied my other half pain relief for seven hours before deciding the pills they had given her 30 minutes prior were not sufficient.

Currently there are five nurses and two doctors doing absolutely nothing in A&E.

I saw an elderly lady have to see 4 nurses and 1 doctor separately and only needed a tetanus shot. 12 hours.

This is the state of the #NHS in the 21st century and it is utterly futile.

There is a septuagenarian couple in the main reception area for 12 hours. An elderly man with a history of heart failure abandoned in a wheelchair.

I have seen patients in wheelchairs,patients with open gashes on their legs, with an assortment of mental health challenges walking out of the hospital.

The majority of patients in #midantrimhospital are leaving before being seen and have gotten fed up waiting.

Some people have been here up to 17 hours. People sitting in corridors, on floors, and wherever else they can find.

Hour Nine in #MidAntrim Hospital. Sent to one department that sent us to another department who sent us back to the original department. Sent to X-Rays who couldn’t help and then sent to A&E who have a separate x-Ray department.

That moment you see a dominatrix gyrating on a flying microphone. That’s #Eurovision #Finland

The other thing I want to raise about #Eurovision is its blatant discrimination. As an epileptic I feel like they are on a mission to kill us all.

Taking a break from the grand squeaker #Austria