We must be taking it very seriously if we've raised the Defcon level up from "Nonchalantly glancing"

a teddy bear is singing into a microphone while wearing a tie . ALT: a teddy bear is singing into a microphone while wearing a tie .

Sad news.

The guy who first introduced dairy byproducts to Italian cuisine just pasta whey.

Not rude things, a thread:

this is genuinely incredible

a man in a kitchen with the words which was nice ALT: a man in a kitchen with the words which was nice

Invented a new type of solar panel this morning.

Of all the virtues they sing of AI, how come no one's training them to filter spam out of our inboxes?

Donate to Help for Nicky’s family, organized by Anthony Huges On the 12th January 2026, our much loved, beautiful friend, Nicky was tragically taken from us b… Anthony Huges needs your support for Help for Nicky’s family

Heartbreakingly, mum of one of my kids' classmates passed away this week. If you are able to help give the family some time together to heal, be much appreciated.

gofund.me/b81b9862e

Not sole mates, then?

A 2024 study found that ants best humans at tests of collective intelligence.

Learn more: https://scim.ag/42nMvQJ #ScienceMagArchives

1. The first thing that should be said about the fatal shooting in Minneapolis by a federal immigration officer is that the victim’s name is Renee Nicole Good.

Me and some neighbours sweep up all the leaves from our road every autumn. Costs us nothing but time and means the drains don't block.

Would much rather the council save their overstretched budget for social care.

a dog and a sheep are sitting next to each other on a couch . ALT: a dog and a sheep are sitting next to each other on a couch .

Don't rate Halloween as a horror movie tbh.

There. I said it.

a black and white photo of a white cat peeking out of a doorway . ALT: a black and white photo of a white cat peeking out of a doorway .

Happy Halloween everyone!

Terrors of the season to you all!

My wife's just described a colleague as "a bone on a dog".

No idea.

Today my wife is celebrating Diwali by creating a fresh argument with her mother.

Happy Diwali everyone!

tomorrow's fesshole: I shat my trousers after I forgot I was still warming the loo seat

a candle is lit up in the dark with a single flame coming out of it ALT: a candle is lit up in the dark with a single flame coming out of it

11 years to the day. You would have been ten and big sister to two crazy girls.

We only got to hold you once to say goodbye, but we'll never forget you Rowan xxx

#BLAW #BLAW2025 #BabyLossAwarenessWeek

That's an excellent choice.

Carbonara and Mulligatawny

A creepy doll's head on a tomb in Chorlton graveyard

Another creepy doll's head on a tomb in Chorlton graveyard

Two creepy dolls' heads on tombs in Chorlton graveyard

Someone's trying to open the hell-mouth in Chorlton. Again.

Would be very happy to seen the end of both of those!

Whoa! What's with all the new followers?

Am I on a new list?

Due to the unique way our successive governments don't want to regulate the energy markets, the cost of your renewable electricity has been bidded up to cost of gas, the last entrant to the market to satisfy the last bit of demand.

Still, shareholder value and all that.

My Jilly Cooper story...

I worked in Dixons, Cheltenham, for a miserable two weeks over Christmas when I was a student.

Jilly Cooper came in and whilst I was sticking security tags on joysticks she shot me a smile that a hungry man would give a plate of chips.

Still gives me nightmares.

Day 278 of #365DaysOfSmiles
Boy saves cat from science experiment

10/10 no notes

Sad to hear she’s kicked the bouquet…

The suspect Manchester synagogue attacker. Who placed his bombs on his twig and berries.

Not entirely convinced he thought through the placement of his bombs.

Cheeky photo of a Starbucks ghost cookie I photographed. The placement of the cookie in the shelving obscures the lower detail such that the tip of a pumpkin stalk makes it look like the ghost has an erection. Yes. I know I need to grow up. And no, I shan't.

Hats off to Starbucks for the design of their ghost cookies.

They really put the willies up.