I’m running
#Biden2028

#Biden2028

My lawyer told me I needed one and her associates because I have PTSD

I once had a lawyer tell me this was the way to go, no joke.
#Unethical
#Law

I’m going to get an ice cream cone tattoo on my forehead. Jill’s trying to talk me out of it but Hegseth said it’d be, “Icy.” Which apparently is a good thing. Told you kids Trump was on the Epstein list
#Biden2028

My son Hunter Biden would make a great president in 2032. I’m so proud of him for finding his laptop. Jill and I paid $3,200 for it, computers aren’t cheap. He’s been using my Gateway from 2001.
#Biden2028

Here’s a picture of my beautiful wife Jill with our 2 dogs, Champ and Major. Donnie Trump can’t get 2 loyal dogs and a real wife. Time to show Barry Obama how to play Pickle Ball.
#Biden2028
#TrumpHasSmallPP

Press Release:
Hunter has a hangover again and will miss brunch. That boy and Hegseth need a real job and out of my basement. Jill made poached eggs and pop tarts, I need a true chef like Guy Fieri. Don’t tell Jill, she thinks she makes the best pop tarts
#Biden2028

Meet Willow, she’s still gaining dominance in her new neighborhood.
#Caturday

I’m going to whip Jake Paul’s ass on PPV and donate the proceeds to NPR and PBS. Might get Jill a gift certificate to get her nails did too.
#Biden2028

Looks like we’re going into a recession due to Donnie Trump. Jill and Michelle are clipping coupons while the Bushs are collecting empty beer cans from the party for the return deposit.
#Biden2028
#MitchMcConnellStoleMyLiquor

My keg stand went 18 seconds longer than Hegseths. Lindsey Graham is making out with Chuck Schumer. (My gaydar is on point) MTG is wasted, crying and trying to convince Cory Booker that she’s not a Neanderthal. Gotta go, Jill’s coming
#Biden2028

My son Hunter and Hegseth just went out to get a keg. I told Jill it’s just going to be one of those nights. My neighbor Bill Clinton thinks Colbert and Biden has a nice ring to it for the 2028 presidential election.
#Biden2028
#Colbert2028

I haven’t slept since 1984
#Trump2028

This is such a wonderful Me-Me you kids made. One thing you got wrong, I was one of the best damn Presidents this country has ever had… (suck on that Barry Obama) So Ive earned the have the right to brag. Jill says it’s time for Gunsmoke and Johnny Carson.
Good night kids,
Joe
#Biden2028
#TrumpsDumb

I want to prepare everyone for the up coming news you might hear…

I’m on the list. I must thank Rob Manfred for putting me on the Home Run Derby List. I hit a 496 ft bomb with Barry Obama pitching to me a few minutes ago.
Watch out Jazz Chisholm Jr.
#MLB
#Biden2028

George and Laura Bush are coming over for dinner later. I’m hoping to get their endorsement for 2028
#Biden2028

I just helped JD fix a flat tire on his moped. Jill I don’t like eating meatloaf, I’m sorry where were we.
#Biden2028

Barry Obama and I just beat Donald and JD Vance in half court. Waiting on a ride home from Vance, but he’s still in the locker room putting on his eyeliner. Jill knows where the real Black Mamba is.
#Biden2028
#Kobe

They might call me Sleepy Joe but I haven’t slept since 1984. Oh, and I whipped Hegeseths ass for puking on my couch.
#Biden

Jill and Michelle just left, they’re going to thrift stores today. Barrack and I gotta get drunkard Hegeseth off my basement couch before they get back.

10 facts about the 'autopen' How did the bill get signed By President Obama?

Bill Clinton keeps calling me and asking me what an autopen is. I used USPS to mail this newspaper article from 12.5 years ago when Barrack was my boss. Time to watch Bonanza and The Andy Griffith Show with Jill.
Good night kiddos,
Joe
#Biden2028
#TrumpHasSmallPP

www.politico.com/story/2013/0...

I showed this to Jill and she said, “Lauren Boebert is back to running a restaurant again.”
#Biden2028

Jill said it’s Sunday Funday! I’ve done all my chores and Honey Do Lists so I smoked a J with Hunter.
Did you know Kid Rock sounds even worse lit? I could whip his ass in his shitty Nashville bar with Bawitdaba playing in the background any day
#Biden2028

Barrack and I are close best friends, but it has nothing on the mutual friendship Donald had with Jeff Epstein. Jill is yelling at me, gotta go

They’re afraid to play me in table tennis.

You know who was a great AG, Robert (Bobby) Kennedy. You know, Jill and I have no idea what happened to RFK Jr. I’m hoping to jump in the octagon against him when UFC visits the White House.
#Biden2028

Anybody got a few minutes to spot me in my home gym? Hegeseth and Hunter are drunk from brunch and I don’t trust Jill with 10 reps at 275lbs.
#Biden2028

Kendrick paged me so I found a pay phone. He says that Gavin Newsom told him that Drake is all over those Epstein files.