(Last Friday was Nothing Like a Dame day)

In 1926, Gertrude Ederle became the first woman to swim the English Channel.

She also beat the men's record while she was at it. By two hours!

New York gave her a ticker-tape parade. She was 20.

The men's record didn't see her coming.

#difficultwomen #womenshistory #swimming

(Last Friday was Nothing Like a Dame day)

Danica Patrick was the first woman to win an IndyCar race, first to lead the Indy 500, and first to take pole position at the Daytona 500.

All in a sport nobody handed her a seat in.

And she clearly loved every second of it.

#difficultwomen #womenshistory #motorsport

After each one, she went back to sea.

Because she liked the work. (And I suspect the ocean eventually gave up trying to stop her.)

#difficultwomen #womenshistory #irrepressible
(Last Friday was Nothing Like a Dame day)

Violet Jessop survived the Olympic collision (1911), the Titanic sinking (1912), and the Britannic explosion (1916).

All three ships from the same fleet. All three disasters, one after the other.

...

Flo-Jo didn't come to fit in. She came to win, on her own terms, looking exactly how she wanted to look.

On Nothing Like a Dame Day — here's to women who refuse to choose between fabulous and formidable. 🎉

#difficultwomen #womenshistory #NothingLikeADame

Florence Griffith Joyner showed up to the 1988 Olympics in a one-legged unitard, four-inch nails, and full glam makeup.

Then set world records in the 100m and 200m that still haven't been broken — 38 years later.

...

First woman to complete the Seven Summits. A feat most avid male mountaineers never manage.

She looked like nobody's idea of a record-breaker.

That was probably part of the fun.

#difficultwomen #womenshistory #mountaineering #NothingLikeADame
(Friday is Nothing Like a Dame day)

Junko Tabei was a small, soft-spoken Japanese schoolteacher.

In 1975, she became the first woman to summit Everest. Then she just... kept going. Every continent. All seven of the world's highest peaks.

...

So yes. Your Wi-Fi is partly thanks to a Hollywood actress who invented it on the side.

How fun is that!

#difficultwomen #womenshistory #technology
(Friday is Nothing Like a Dame day)

The US Navy rejected her patent. She went back to making movies. The patent expired before anyone realized what she'd created.

She was inducted into the National Inventors Hall of Fame in 2014. Posthumously.

...

Hedy Lamarr was one of Hollywood's biggest stars in the 1940s.

In her spare time, she was an inventor with plenty inventions to her name.

She co-invented the technology behind Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, and GPS.

...

What a way to celebrate your birthday (at any age)!

#difficultwomen #womenshistory #audacity
(Friday is Nothing Like a Dame day)

She packed her lucky heart-shaped pillow, climbed in, and became the first person in history to survive the drop.

She emerged with a small cut on her head and her pillow intact.

The men who'd called it a 'reckless stunt' said nothing much after that.

...

Annie Edson Taylor decided to celebrate her 63rd birthday by going over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

Not a boat. A barrel.

...

Then barnstormed the country doing loop-de-loops and wing walks as 'Queen Bess.'

Why prove a point quietly when you can do it from 5,000 feet?

#difficultwomen #womenshistory #aviation
(Friday is Nothing Like a Dame day)

Every flight school in the US refused Bessie Coleman.

She was Black. She was a woman. Both were apparently reason enough.

So she learned French, moved to France, got her pilot's license — and came home as the first Black female pilot in the world.

...

7/ I didn't learn that until well into my 40s. Hope you're getting the message a little sooner.

6/ Overriding an empty tank because you couldn't come up with a "good enough" excuse (trust me, I've been there too many times), is saying that "I don't want to" isn't a good enough reason not to do something. When that actually is the ultimate best reason not to do something.

5/ Neither puts your character in question. In fact, they both help you to stay within your integrity and remain reliable. Which are both essential ingredients of (self-)trust.

4/ The first honors your own wants, needs, and desires.
The second honors your limited resources of attention, time, and effort.

3/ The first question to answer is always: "Do I want to do this?"
The second: "Do I have the bandwidth and energy to take it on?" (After you've taken care of your non-negotiables!)

2/ The first question puts you in territory where your conditioning, through the guilt and shame it induces, always wins. The second implies you should say yes and are looking for an excuse.

Neither is helpful.

The questions I stopped asking myself: "Should I do this?" and "Do I have a reason not to do this?"

Turns out: wrong questions.

#difficultwomen #strategicrefusal

5/ Most people have never had a pattern named back at them before. They don't have a script for it. The pattern usually stops — not because they're a bad person, but because it only works in the dark.

Once you've done this once, it becomes quietly addictive.

4/ But now it no longer does. So no wonder they're confused and their wiring is short-circuited.

Apart from the fun of looking at their expressions, naming the pattern also serves to interrupt it.

"I've noticed that when I say no, you come back a little while later and ask again. And again."

3/ Don't just repeat your "no", but call out what they're doing: repeating their request (until you cave, but don't mention that).

Can't blame them for it, really. They're not even running it consciously. It's what you taught them works. And what works gets repeated.

2/ It happens when your answer isn't what they expected. When you say "no" for the first time. When you say "no" the second time to a request, it becomes more pronounced and more confused.

Want to have more fun? And see some truly remarkable expressions?

There's a specific face people make when you reflect their pattern back at them.

I can only describe it as: briefly short-circuited.

#difficultwomen #boundaries