“What if progress didn’t have to be this slow?”

So many parents of autistic children reach a point where it just feels… stuck. Years of therapy. Endless effort. And still, no speech. No sleep. Gut issues that don’t shift.
🎧 Tune in to the latest episode of Autism, ADHD and Us Three

That’s the message far too many parents hear when they try to explain that their autistic child wasn’t always this way. They had words. They had eye contact. They laughed and played and connected — and then, suddenly, they didn’t.

🎧 Tune in now to the latest episode of Autism, ADHD and Us Three

5 Lies You Can Stop Believing About Yourself Right Now There comes a point after a late diagnosis where you start looking back. Not just at what happened, but at what you believed. About who you were. About what you were capable of. About what was wrong with you. It's one of the most painful and powerful parts of this journey. Because for many of us, the stories we absorbed were never true.

5 Lies You Can Stop Believing About Yourself Right Now

There comes a point after a late diagnosis where you start looking back. Not just at what happened, but at what you believed. About who you were. About what you were capable of. About what was wrong with you. It's one of the most painful and…

The Myth of Confidence, And What You Really Need Instead I used to think I could be quite a confident person. But then when I looked deeper I realised I was just a people-pleasing peacekeeper. I avoided speaking up, I said yes when I meant no, I stayed small, apologised too much, over-explained, or laughed at something that hurt. I thought if If I could just believe in myself more, I'd stop holding back.

The Myth of Confidence, And What You Really Need Instead

I used to think I could be quite a confident person. But then when I looked deeper I realised I was just a people-pleasing peacekeeper. I avoided speaking up, I said yes when I meant no, I stayed small, apologised too much, over-explained,…

Jenny Lucas | Substack Late-diagnosed AuDHD coach helping women stop masking, start healing, and finally feel like themselves. For the burned out, curious, and done-people-pleasing crew. Expect truth, softness, swearing, an...

substack.com/@jennylucas1... I’ve joined Substack! Come and join me over there

Rest Isn’t a Luxury. It’s Your Nervous System Begging You to Stop I used to think I was lazy. Not all the time, just in those moments when I couldn't get off the sofa, or start the laundry, or make a decision that should have been simple. I'd look around at the mess, at the half-finished lists, and I'd think, "You're just not trying hard enough." But it wasn't laziness. It was burnout.

Rest Isn’t a Luxury. It’s Your Nervous System Begging You to Stop

I used to think I was lazy. Not all the time, just in those moments when I couldn't get off the sofa, or start the laundry, or make a decision that should have been simple. I'd look around at the mess, at the half-finished lists,…

The Grief No One Warns You About After Diagnosis When I first got my diagnoses, ADHD and autism at 37, I thought I'd feel relief. Finally, answers. Finally, a reason for why everything had always felt so hard. And yes, relief did come. Eventually. But first came something I wasn't prepared for. Something no one had warned me about. Grief. Not the kind of grief you expect. Not loss of a person or a dream.

The Grief No One Warns You About After Diagnosis

When I first got my diagnoses, ADHD and autism at 37, I thought I'd feel relief. Finally, answers. Finally, a reason for why everything had always felt so hard. And yes, relief did come. Eventually. But first came something I wasn't prepared for.…

What If Worth Has Nothing To Do With Output? Letting go of the pressure to prove yourself How would you live if you truly believed your worth was not up for negotiation? If you didn’t feel the need to prove, perform, or push through just to be seen as valuable? These are the kinds of questions that shake people. Because most of us were never taught how to feel valuable unless we were doing something.

What If Worth Has Nothing To Do With Output?

Letting go of the pressure to prove yourself How would you live if you truly believed your worth was not up for negotiation? If you didn’t feel the need to prove, perform, or push through just to be seen as valuable? These are the kinds of questions…

Redefining ‘Getting Things Done’ Why executive dysfunction isn’t laziness and how to work with your brain, not against it If your day starts with a to-do list and ends in shame because none of it got done, you are not alone. If you’ve ever sat frozen on the sofa while your brain screamed at you to just start the thing, this blog is for you.

Redefining ‘Getting Things Done’

Why executive dysfunction isn’t laziness and how to work with your brain, not against it If your day starts with a to-do list and ends in shame because none of it got done, you are not alone. If you’ve ever sat frozen on the sofa while your brain screamed at you to…

“Lazy” or Just Burned Out? How guilt around rest is stealing your self-worth You know that voice. The one that whispers you should be doing something right now. The one that jolts you into folding laundry instead of resting. That calls you lazy for pausing. That keeps you in motion even when your bones feel tired and your brain is screaming for a break. If your nervous system is wired for guilt and your brain sees rest as suspicious, this isn’t a productivity problem.

“Lazy” or Just Burned Out?

How guilt around rest is stealing your self-worth You know that voice. The one that whispers you should be doing something right now. The one that jolts you into folding laundry instead of resting. That calls you lazy for pausing. That keeps you in motion even when your…

When Worth Looks Like Hustle in Audhd Brains What if I told you that your to-do list is not your moral compass? For most of my working life, I used productivity to prove I was a good person. I was the teacher who never stopped, the mum who did everything herself, the woman who kept going even when her body was screaming for rest. The world rewards us for being busy.

When Worth Looks Like Hustle in Audhd Brains

What if I told you that your to-do list is not your moral compass? For most of my working life, I used productivity to prove I was a good person. I was the teacher who never stopped, the mum who did everything herself, the woman who kept going even when…

What May Taught Me About Self-Acceptance (Even When Life Fell Apart a Bit) This hasn’t been the May I imagined. I had a plan. I was excited to get ahead with content. I felt a rare kind of clarity towards the end of April, a knowing that I was finally stepping into the work that matters most to me. And then I got ill. Really ill. For the first three weeks of May, I’ve been low energy, foggy-brained, and physically run down.

What May Taught Me About Self-Acceptance (Even When Life Fell Apart a Bit)

This hasn’t been the May I imagined. I had a plan. I was excited to get ahead with content. I felt a rare kind of clarity towards the end of April, a knowing that I was finally stepping into the work that matters most to…

You’re Not “More Autistic” Now. You’re Just Not Hiding It Anymore If you’ve ever heard someone say “you seem more autistic since your diagnosis”, you’re not alone. Maybe it was meant as a joke. Maybe it came from someone close to you. Maybe it was your own inner voice, quietly wondering why everything suddenly feels harder than it used to. You’re not becoming more autistic. You’re just no longer pretending to be less.

You’re Not “More Autistic” Now. You’re Just Not Hiding It Anymore

If you’ve ever heard someone say “you seem more autistic since your diagnosis”, you’re not alone. Maybe it was meant as a joke. Maybe it came from someone close to you. Maybe it was your own inner voice, quietly wondering why…

You’re Not “More Autistic” Now. You’re Just Not Hiding It Anymore If you’ve ever heard someone say “you seem more autistic since your diagnosis”, you’re not alone. Maybe it was meant as a joke. Maybe it came from someone close to you. Maybe it was your own inner voice, quietly wondering why everything suddenly feels harder than it used to. You’re not becoming more autistic. You’re just no longer pretending to be less.

You’re Not “More Autistic” Now. You’re Just Not Hiding It Anymore

If you’ve ever heard someone say “you seem more autistic since your diagnosis”, you’re not alone. Maybe it was meant as a joke. Maybe it came from someone close to you. Maybe it was your own inner voice, quietly wondering why…

Unmasking Isn’t a Makeover; It’s a Homecoming When I first started learning about "unmasking" after my late diagnosis, I genuinely thought it was going to feel like freedom. Like I’d just pull off the layers I’d built up over the years, have a few emotional breakthroughs, and then suddenly I’d be skipping through a field somewhere, fully expressed and glowing. Maybe wearing linen. Definitely very zen. Spoiler: it did not go like that.

Unmasking Isn’t a Makeover; It’s a Homecoming

When I first started learning about "unmasking" after my late diagnosis, I genuinely thought it was going to feel like freedom. Like I’d just pull off the layers I’d built up over the years, have a few emotional breakthroughs, and then suddenly I’d be…

Who Am I Now? Rediscovering Your Identity After a Late Diagnosis Self-acceptance after a late autism or ADHD diagnosis isn’t a light-switch moment. It’s more like taking apart a massive IKEA wardrobe you built without instructions, only to realise half the screws were in the wrong place and you’ve been sitting inside it the whole time wondering why the doors don’t close properly. If you’re sitting there wondering who the hell you even are anymore, you’re not alone.

Who Am I Now? Rediscovering Your Identity After a Late Diagnosis

Self-acceptance after a late autism or ADHD diagnosis isn’t a light-switch moment. It’s more like taking apart a massive IKEA wardrobe you built without instructions, only to realise half the screws were in the wrong place and you’ve…

The Joy I Nearly Missed: A Journey Through AuDHD Parenting 1. Parenting Without a Map Before I knew I was AuDHD, parenting felt like a constant uphill climb. I was overwhelmed nearly all the time, touched out, snappy, counting down the hours until bedtime. It felt like everyone always needed something from me, and I was somehow always behind. I thought this was just what parenting was. I didn’t realise that not everyone felt triggered by noise, even the happy kind, or that not everyone found joy hard to access, even when they were aware they…

The Joy I Nearly Missed: A Journey Through AuDHD Parenting

1. Parenting Without a Map Before I knew I was AuDHD, parenting felt like a constant uphill climb. I was overwhelmed nearly all the time, touched out, snappy, counting down the hours until bedtime. It felt like everyone always needed…

Who Am I Now? Navigating Life After an ADHD & Autism Diagnosis (AuDHD) For most of my life, I felt like an unfinished puzzle, like everyone else had been given the completed picture, but I was left trying to fit pieces together without the full image. I knew I was different, but I couldn’t explain why. I masked, I overcompensated, I tried to mould myself into what I thought I should be. I was anxious and exhausted.

Who Am I Now? Navigating Life After an ADHD & Autism Diagnosis (AuDHD)

For most of my life, I felt like an unfinished puzzle, like everyone else had been given the completed picture, but I was left trying to fit pieces together without the full image. I knew I was different, but I couldn’t explain…

S2 E5 Tips for how to parent your ADHD kids without shame, blame or trauma Autism, ADHD and Us Three · Episode

Loved talking about being an ADHD parent with @audhdisticallyme.bsky.social on her fab podcast 👇

open.spotify.com/episode/5VVT...

Yay! #duvetknowitschristmas is back! It’s a fantastic hashtag for one night only 😂🎄 God I am glad to be sleeping in my own bed tonight! 🙌🏻

It’s time! After 23 years of marriage, the in-laws are still putting us in the Peach Room of Doom, with the Formica Stool of Chastity, and new for this year, an ironing board for a splash of colour. #DuvetKnowItsChristmas #XmasAtTheInlaws and donate to Centrepoint via @rhodri.biz

So, let's try doing #duvetknowitschristmas here this evening? People are literally Driving Home For Christmas right now, which MIGHT JUST mean that they'll be sleeping somewhere unusual. 1/

NEW PODCAST EPISODE! S2 E4 is available wherever you get your podcasts! Autism, ADHD and Us Three. All about doing the festive season your way, with zero shame and no fucks given #audhd #disability #parenting

The time has come to put up the decorations. We go full 90s in this house, with all manner of sparkly shit tacked into the ceilings #oldschool #christmas2024

Excellent! I’m starting titration with my local NHS service on Monday. Kinda nervous as titration with PUK was a shitshow 😬

What kind? My favourite is ‘morning’

Husband is back from work trip tomorrow and honestly not sure how I feel about it 🙃

Also, the spamm3rs have arrived. How come a spambot can have more followers than me?!

a cartoon of snoopy holding a red umbrella with the words stay dry below it ALT: a cartoon of snoopy holding a red umbrella with the words stay dry below it

Wednesday and it’s a bit dreich where I am. Still, much to be done so let’s go!

Maddy Alexander-Grout’s Invisible To Influential Membership - What's Good To Do Maddy launched her Invisible to Influential Membership earlier this year.   Here’s what sh

Oh look! A lovely bit of PR @adhdmoneyandme.bsky.social and including me! whatsgoodtodo.com/maddy-alexan...