Cheese pie?

I hear somebody went all the way from Wakefield to County Durham last year. 😮

TOP TIP. Avoid being accused of racism by not being racist or by not saying anything racist or writing anything racist.

MOTHER’S DAY IN AMERICA:
Omg I love you Mom you are the best mom in the universe I am supremely grateful for your beautiful, awesome, precious soul.
*hands over actual unicorn that farts diamonds*

MOTHER’S DAY IN UK:
Hi. Here’s a card from the petrol station. What’s for tea?

One of my jokes was selected in the 'best clean joke' @leicscomedyfest.bsky.social joke competition!
www.chortle.co.uk/news/2026/03...

If you want to see me telling award-winning jokes live I'm performing at 18:00 this evening in Tennent's Bar in the Glasgow Comedy Festival

Tickets: bit.ly/4nzttPc

I miss the days when we worried about Friday 13th in case something bad happened.

I think you'll find she's Scottish.

Spud Vibrations #boiledfoodinasongormovie

Onion City Blue #boiledfoodinasongormovie

Welcome to my realistic Valentine's messages.

Tickets for both my 2026 @edfringe.bsky.social solo shows are now on sale!

'Richard Pulsford: Gold Fashioned Jokes' is my new one-liners show: bit.ly/4qvLuz6

'Richard Pulsford: Yorkshire Dad, Immigrant Mum' is a nostalgic show about my parents: bit.ly/3ZBSbF0

theatreweekly.com/first-351-sh...

Well done Su! I hope it all goes well. 🤞🍀

I very much agree D!

Luckily I spotted it before Christmas and we are therefore still married. 🙂 We (he) did need a new kettle so we kept it and the matching toaster (which I also rarely use).

I still remember when Janice Battersby got a deep fat fryer for Christmas from Les. I would have preferred that to the kettle I was once given (I never drink hot drinks).

I don't know anything about D. H. Lawrence's writing, but his delivery company is a joke.

I once saw Su Pollard coming out of Euston Station while I was on a bus going past. I think some lads were shouting abuse at her because I could lip read her swearing.

I used baked potatoes to make the mandatory post-Christmas bubble and squeak and I've fried the skins.

When you prepare the food before Christmas to save cooking time.

Will you just politely say goodnight?

Thanks Bernie, hope you're doing okay. I remember watching that on MTV at the time.

Mel C and Bryan Adams?

Sue and I have tweeted up in York before. It was no Wakefield though.

😮

If you can manage to hold 17 clocks at once without dropping them you've got way too much time on your hands. #lunchpun