patrick star is laying on a bed with two pillows . ALT: patrick star is laying on a bed with two pillows .

Is "buttcheeks" one word, or should I spread them apart?

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a man wearing a plaid shirt is playing a trumpet ALT: a man wearing a plaid shirt is playing a trumpet

If you suck at playing the trumpet, that's probably why...

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Did you know: despite sinking over 100 years ago, the swimming pool on the Titanic is still filled with water!

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ALT:

People thought I was upset to learn someone stole the 5th page of my calendar, but I was merely dismayed.

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I showed up late to the kleptomaniacs conference - all the seats were already taken..

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a man with glasses and a beard says " more research is needed " ALT: a man with glasses and a beard says " more research is needed "

Studies show: people who have more birthdays live longer.

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a man wearing glasses and a suit has the number 5 on his chest ALT: a man wearing glasses and a suit has the number 5 on his chest

Why do chickens only make one sound? Because, they never think outside the BAWKs.

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lady gaga is wearing a wig and giving the thumbs up sign . ALT: lady gaga is wearing a wig and giving the thumbs up sign .

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poker her face.

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a robot is flying over a city with buildings in the background and a blue sky ALT: a robot is flying over a city with buildings in the background and a blue sky

When two pregnant women fight, is that what they call a mech-warrior battle?

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a cartoon of tinkerbell with a bun on her hair ALT: a cartoon of tinkerbell with a bun on her hair

Pollen is what happens, when flowers can't keep it in their plants!

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a man wearing glasses and a jacket says watch out now ALT: a man wearing glasses and a jacket says watch out now

What's green, fuzzy, has 4 legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree?
- A pool table.

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a pile of potatoes with the words " less haters more taters " ALT: a pile of potatoes with the words " less haters more taters "

What do you call an indecisive potato?
- A hesitater.

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I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night - I should have put it on aloha setting.

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The only thing Flat-Earthers have to fear, is sphere itself.

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a man in a white shirt is walking down a sidewalk next to a man in a black shirt ALT: a man in a white shirt is walking down a sidewalk next to a man in a black shirt

I’d like to thank the sidewalks, for keeping me off the streets.

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a cartoon character named stewie is standing next to a cartoon character named peter griffin ALT: a cartoon character named stewie is standing next to a cartoon character named peter griffin

I went to the barber and said, "I want a haircut like Tom Cruise." They gave me a booster seat.

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a man wearing a hat and a vest with double bogey written on his chest ALT: a man wearing a hat and a vest with double bogey written on his chest

A lion would never drive under the influence, but a Tiger Wood.

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a close up of a wolf laying down with its eyes closed . ALT: a close up of a wolf laying down with its eyes closed .

What do you call a dog who meditates?
- Aware wolf.

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a cartoon character with pink eyes is holding a remote ALT: a cartoon character with pink eyes is holding a remote

I told a joke on a zoom meeting, but nobody laughed. Turns out, I'm not even remotely funny..

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a man wearing glasses and a metal helmet looks at a screen ALT: a man wearing glasses and a metal helmet looks at a screen

Never yell into a colander, you'll strain your voice!

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a man with gray hair and a beard is smiling with his arms in the air ALT: a man with gray hair and a beard is smiling with his arms in the air

I'm so old, I remember when emotes were called hieroglyphs.

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a young girl is standing in front of a door with the words did you know written above her ALT: a young girl is standing in front of a door with the words did you know written above her

Did you know: mayonnaise is just sandwich lotion.

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✨Derek Scott✨
#skateboarding www.atmclick.com

a woman holding a sword with the words let 's get started ALT: a woman holding a sword with the words let 's get started

Why do pirates carry swords? Because swords can’t walk..

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a man in a black shirt is holding a black glove with the word protection written on it ALT: a man in a black shirt is holding a black glove with the word protection written on it

What does a hot dog use for protection?
- Condoments!

WRECKFEST WEDNESDAY! (starts at 7p PT)

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a cartoon character with a red nose is holding a knife to a wooden table ALT: a cartoon character with a red nose is holding a knife to a wooden table

How do you make a pirate furious?
- You take away the P.

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a man with glasses is making a funny face with his hands ALT: a man with glasses is making a funny face with his hands

Friendly heads up: the grass being greener on the other side, may be due to septic tank issues.

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a young boy is playing a piano and blowing a bubble . ALT: a young boy is playing a piano and blowing a bubble .

I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

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a black cat is holding a nail file in its paws and says " so ... very ... not ... amused " ALT: a black cat is holding a nail file in its paws and says " so ... very ... not ... amused "

What do you call a Roman with a cold?
- Julius Sneezer.

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four men are sitting on a park bench with their arms crossed and a green trash can in the foreground ALT: four men are sitting on a park bench with their arms crossed and a green trash can in the foreground

What's the difference between me and a park bench?
- A park bench can support a family of four.

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