This post below contextualizes a truly exceptional essay published in the BMJ Medical Humanities. (link therein)

The "lyrical essay" combines prose, poetry, memoir & statistics into a powerful vehicle centering two CSA survivors' voices. Its powerful & distressing - its the voices we need to hear.

This is exceptional. The concept, the expressiveness, the weaving of poetry and prose in an academic venue, all of it. I am so thankful you brought Twenty-Five Sounding to life to act as a model of memoir & truly meaningful, survivor-validating scholarship.

Great insight, great metaphor! ❤️‍🩹

Infinite thanks, its a journey. Back then, I had no idea if I could do it, completely changed who I associated with to figure out how to become a "new person." Most consequential commitment I've ever made. 💪❤️‍🩹

27 years ago today I committed to ending a drug habit that was growing & consuming my life. It wasn't a single choice, it was a commitment to many future choices & my future self.

If you're just starting this journey, know one day you'll feel so damn proud you didn't give up on yourself.
#recovery

Recovery anger - and let's be honest, for many of us, its recovery spite directed at your abusers - can fuel us to follow our values & commit to actions to continue healing.

Its our responsibility to heal, no one says we can't be strategically pissed too. ❤️‍🩹

Recovery anger - and let's be honest, for many of us, its recovery spite directed at your abusers - can fuel us to follow our values & commit to actions to continue healing.

Its our responsibility to heal, no one says we can't be strategically pissed too. ❤️‍🩹

The practice of self-compassion isn't about helping our inner child "back then" – we'll never change the past – but it's showing ourselves *right now* we were worthy of care & protection in spite of the past.

It's not rewriting history, its updating the conclusions we drew from it. ❤️‍🩹
#cptsd

The practice of self-compassion isn't about helping our inner child "back then" – we'll never change the past – but it's showing ourselves *right now* we were worthy of care & protection in spite of the past.

It's not rewriting history, its updating the conclusions we drew from it. ❤️‍🩹
#cptsd

A child will develop a distorted sense of causality if surrounded by chronic abuse & neglect.

We'll believe our existence is the cause of horrible things--things we had zero influence over.

Realizing "it wasn't our fault" isn't some feel-good cliché, its a total reappraisal of our reality.
#cptsd

Despite the real challenges of social media, its been a wonderful recovery tool for me. ❤️‍🩹🙏

A child will develop a distorted sense of causality if surrounded by chronic abuse & neglect.

We'll believe our existence is the cause of horrible things--things we had zero influence over.

Realizing "it wasn't our fault" isn't some feel-good cliché, its a total reappraisal of our reality.
#cptsd

I truly hope you think of your line "someone ended up being me" as proof of your strength and resilience.

That exact realization was a critical reappraisal in recovery for me - I had always thought of despair and failure, not my own strengths as a young child.

Thank you for sharing your insights. 🙏❤️‍🩹

Always appreciate your view 😀. I'll say that as self-compassion has become more "natural" it *feels* more like "I got my back," or like I have "extra" support. I suppose I was used to abandoning myself, so learning to show care *feels* almost like external support. Hard to explain!

The “nobody’s coming to save you” line hits different for childhood trauma survivors.

It's not motivational, it confirms a core wound—we were never worth saving.

We didn't get the support we needed, but don’t get tripped up thinking we weren't worth it, or that we can't heal ourselves now.
#cptsd

Never been formally Rx'd, but working w/therapist using most of CPTSD recovery playbook. Finally understanding toxic shame was critical, then understanding emotional flashbacks, dysregulation, cognitive fusion, &c.
We never had pre-trauma identity, so yes, it feels inescapable - but we can heal. ❤️‍🩹

Also can't help but wonder: For those who the line "no one is coming to save you" is motivational, might we presume they had people *regularly saving them* (giving care & protection) throughout childhood?
I know, such "calculus" is mostly imaginary guesswork, but still...

I agree, all the inner work is on us. I like the phrase, "It wasn't our fault, but it remains our responsibility to heal."

I also think there is more support out there than many folks may feel. Of course, family may not be a source of support, which can feel devastating.

Of course, it sometimes takes me a bit to figure out what "smells off" about some statements. It can feel like a relief to find that clarity, though.

The “nobody’s coming to save you” line hits different for childhood trauma survivors.

It's not motivational, it confirms a core wound—we were never worth saving.

We didn't get the support we needed, but don’t get tripped up thinking we weren't worth it, or that we can't heal ourselves now.
#cptsd

Its truly cruel to have an adaptive trauma response - something we developed to keep ourselves alive - re-framed by others as a personality "defect." ❤️‍🩹

getting my parents arrested, giving myself free reign to think whatever to make that kid feel seen, cared for, and protected. Especially when triggered and having an emotional flashback, self-compassion (and anger) have been critical tools. But, its been a slow practice, now, of 2+ years.❤️‍🩹

For me, writing, or I should say, thick descriptive writings of my emotions has helped some, it gives some structure to the chaos. Its been easier for me to then apply self-compassion to "that kid" in the past. Imagining, going back in time and saving myself, showing myself love...

I hear you, fully. Learning that my self-cruelty & shame was a relic of my childhood - not something that I was born with - gave me a little wiggle room, but recovery still has been real work. "Rigidity and resistance" is a real challenge, especially if we had no pre-trauma identity....

Big breakthroughs are great, they'll energize our recovery efforts like nothing else.

But the healthy habits of mind which define recovery are built upon the small, unremarkable choices to align our actions with our values.
It's in the daily micro-decisions where recovery finds traction.
#cptsd

Big breakthroughs are great, they'll energize our recovery efforts like nothing else.

But the healthy habits of mind which define recovery are built upon the small, unremarkable choices to align our actions with our values.
It's in the daily micro-decisions where recovery finds traction.
#cptsd

Oddly - hopefully with love & reverence! - this post made me think of you...and this post. I'm thankful for all that you share about your healing journey!

bsky.app/profile/drdo...

Childhood neglect warps a child's mind to such a degree that we'll interpret our basic needs for care & closeness as overbearing self-centeredness.

When no need is met, every need feels indulgent.

Neglect doesn’t just deprive a child in the moment—it rewires how we interpret our own needs.
#cptsd