#tavqotd
This is home.
Xal loves the delicate, dangerous beauty of the Underdark. He would never have left his home if he’d had the choice.
Although he has lived on the surface for a very long time, he has failed to accept it as his new home. His heart always yearns for the depths, for Faerzress.
However, Xal never lay down to meditate against the wall If the bed was placed against the wall and one of its sleeping areas was along the wall.
Lying against the wall, he felt as though he were in a cage, and he began to feel a sense of claustrophobia.
#tavqotd
Well... now Xal sleeps standing up... even though it might look a bit creepy, lol.
And before he became an Illithid, he preferred to meditate lying diagonally or even across a double bed.
If someone was lying in bed with him, it didn’t matter to him which side he lay on.
#TavQOTD
Happy (belated) birthday to you!
I think Ayumu can be cute... occasionally. No one tell her I said that, she would kill me. Or she'd just laugh at me, depends on what kind of day she's having 😂
#TavQOTD #OCQOTD
A question to which my unknowingly part-eldritch Ayumu may never find a logical/comprehensible answer. 😭
One could say this "family tree" is just... eyes... all the way up, down, any-which-way around. A loop of eyes, of dreams within dreams, of 'befores' and 'afters' that are one.
#TavQOTD #nsfw
It's often difficult to find poses that work decently for Illithid body types (especially Empy 😭), but I still love how all of these turned out.
Two totally different vibes :3
#TavQOTD
Experiment, Monster, Sacrifice, and the underlying one applicable at all times of Ayumu's existence is Weapon.
Forcibly wielded by Bhaal for the longest time, but after an eternity of nightmares, his 'perfect weapon' was inevitably pointed at his own throat when she took her freedom back.
#TavQOTD
Earliest (June 2024) / Recent (March 2026)
Frequent change of eyes and hair has always been an intrinsic part of Ayumu from a lore perspective, so inbetween these two Ayumus lies a whole journey of color fluctuations.
Her piercings and face preset are the only constants in this madness. 😌
#TavQOTD
It's by far those psychoactive mushrooms only growable in the Underdark that Xal introduced her to. There is a lot Ayumu would do to acquire more of those tasty, tasty mushrooms.
And as bizzare as it may sound, Ayumu's favorite way to consume them is tea made from them. Mushroom tea. 😌
#TavQOTD
Typically lying down, or at least seated.
If sleeping by herself, Ayumu will absolutely always be holding or hugging her sword. It's the only way her brain allows itself to leave its usual hypervigilant state, and besides, the rhythmic pulsing of the sword's biomass is soothing to her.
#TavQOTD
There's... a lot Ayumu prefers to only ever show those few she trusts.
Gentleness, care. Rare, almost childlike joy.
A genuine unguarded smile, often accompanied by pain or melancholy.
Just overall, the vulnerable traumatized fool that remains after all her masks have been stripped away.
#TavQOTD
He <3
mind flayer draped in cloth
Orsimus Draped.
Vulnerability is rare, but graceful.
Patreon.com/Mietere
#TavQOTD #DurgeQOTD
The memory gaps are not so much frightening as they are agonizing. Something like "blissful ignorance" doesn't exist to Ayumu, the unanswered questions about her past before and under Bhaal only haunt her. Ayumu would rather suffer due to terrible truths than due to uncertainty.
Pain is when you want to dress your Drow in some cool Drow armour, but there aren’t any mods like that. 😭
Xal's brother loved snow and winter, even though he had never seen them. He liked to call Xal a snowflake.
Xal himself doesn’t associate himself with any particular season and has never even given it a thought.
#tavqotd
Xal’s stepbrother would probably have said that Xal was winter in the flesh for everyone else but him. Cold, aloof, solitary, and breathtakingly beautiful.
But to him, Xal was more like early spring, when the snow had not yet melted but the sun had already begun to melt it.
#tavqotd
Xal rarely smokes cigarettes, and when he does, it’s usually only when he’s in a particularly melancholic mood. He much prefers a hookah. For him, a hookah is associated with fun, whereas cigarettes are associated with sadness.
#tavqotd
A realist, and sometimes a fatalist – which, in his case, is pretty much the same thing.
While he was living with them and their own children, he had a nanny, albeit for a short time. He had never liked the nanny because she forbade him from doing what he wanted. 😭
#tavqotd
No... and yes.
He grew up amongst the Drow in a noble Drow House.
He had no nannies; instead, he had cruel teachers and even more cruel, sadistic sisters.
After his death and rebirth, he found himself as an adopted child in the family of noble merchants from Damara.
He is alive and will continue to live in spite of everything.
On the other hand, there is much in his life that he deeply regrets and for which he feels guilty. And this guilt often consumes him.
#tavqotd
It depends on the circumstances.
On the one hand, Xal takes pride in the fact that, despite everything, he is still alive; that after all the suffering and humiliation he has endured, he was able to get on his feet and move forward in pursuit of his ambitions and dreams.
However, he is aware of this and considers it a weakness, so he tries not to create situations where anyone might actually want to get to know him better. And he also knows that attachment always brings suffering with it.
#tavqotd
Easy. Easier than he’d like.
All it takes is to show a genuine interest in Xal's life and offer unobtrusive care. He’s hardly ever experienced either of these things in his life, which is why he’s so fond of this kind of treatment.
#tavqotd
Insistent attempts to ‘heal’ or ‘fix’ him.
Xal loves and is proud of himself just as he is.
If anyone tries to change him "for the better" in a moral sense, at best he will consider them a naive fool, and at worst, he will see it as a profound lack of respect for his person.
He only keeps his promises to those who matter to him, and there are very, very few of them.
#tavqotd
Xal makes promises as easily as he breaks them. For him, promises are simply a means of manipulation and often an easy way to get what he wants.
If respect does not bind him to the person to whom he makes a promise, then promises, words and vows mean nothing to him.
I’ll just sit here for now with my eyes closed, breathing in this dusty air. And then I’d like to visit my brother’s room.