This fucker ain’t no bird! This a rock!

never forget when the Easter Bunny sent Teddy Roosevelt to the shadow realm

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah

Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen

Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah

Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

i can't find a principled way to articulate this but there are some things that should only exist in the grey market. you should have to take some risk to participate and the risk functions as regulation.

for gambling, it should be travel or physical violence. i don't make the rules.

Honestly judges should not have access to social media. Their brains need to remain functional maybe more than anyone else.

95% of contract work is just taking an existing template and making some minor tweaks. i assure you that AI cannot make this much more efficient.

Nothing better than a wordy Chuck Norris joke

ANUBIS: (presses button with paw) [guilty]
OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry
ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food]
OSIRIS: you already ate
ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad]
OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good

Baturday
Bat World Sanctuary

Shakespeare standing in front of a chalkboard, considering what’s written. He raises his chalk and makes one change (obscured by his head, shot from behind). As music becomes audible, the camera swings around to show us that he’s changed “HAMNET” to “HAMLET”.

♫ WHAAAAT IIIII’VE DOOOOONE

This is dope

Thank you so much for your reporting on this. Loved reading it!

You have a baby brain.

They like it in there

U.S. Military Announces Plan To Consolidate All Wars Into Final, Epic Battle

U.S. Military Announces Plan To Consolidate All Wars Into Final, Epic Battle theonion.com/u-s-military-announces-p...

#DarkUniverse @darkuniverse Witness the beginning of a #DarkUniverse.

This ended up being an accurate and haunting portent in a weird way, just not about movies

“I vant…to smoke…your veed.”

- weed dracula

Hard copy Onion article “ICE Agent Injured After Repeatedly Trying To Detain People In Neighborhood Mural”

@theonion.com subscription good

Why Labor Unions Can’t Ignore ICE From agriculture to meatpacking to service work, immigration enforcement functions as labor discipline. Minnesota’s mass strike against ICE points toward a reckoning with the agency that the labor mov...

“The labor movement has had language for this for a long time: an injury to one is an injury to all. The Industrial Workers of the World slogan was never just a moral appeal. It was also a diagnosis of how employers and the state undermine working-class power.”

jacobin.com/2026/01/minn...

lmao

#birdbot

A classic tweet from @kennykeil [Bluto subtweeting after getting his ass whooped] I don't know who needs to hear this but spinach isn't a personality

this one of my core beliefs. you do not always know what's best for your kid and this especially applies to people who say they do.

Billionaires should be 3x3cut3d. Every last one of them.

This is so fucking stupid

I’d kill myself if I created this.

It’s Turbo Tim e!

I had to stop reading for a bit when I got here because I started to cry.

Alex Pretti seems to have grown up to be everything his parents could have hoped he would be. And then they killed him literally because he was good and decent, brave and righteous.