The agony of seeing a #10queries post that *could* be yours, but might very well not be 🙃😂 Good advice to take regardless!! #RevPit #RevPitWaiting
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Hi Amelie! Integrated. I'm a big believer in the Hook Book Cook structure for QLs. Hook paragraph will have agent personalization, title, genre, wordcount, some mini version of a logline, and comps. e.g. "...excited to present TITLE, a story of... and what happens when..." #10queries #revpit
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I’m all set for my #RevPit #10Queries tomorrow!
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Hey #RevPitWaiting! My #RevPit #10Queries are up! If you don't recognize your entry, hopefully the advice still resonates. Good luck everyone 👏
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FP10: Beautifully written. Very atmospheric and sets a mood. But what is MC’s GMC (even just for this chapter)? What is wrong that needs fixing? Even if MC doesn’t think there’s anything, reader should be able to pick up on it. Otherwise why go on the journey promised in the QL? #Revpit #10Queries
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QL10: Obsessed. High concept. Know very little about MC’s wound but I’m super into the journey ahead! Still, need to get into that wound. What brought them to this point? If we trim the synopsis-like detail from QL we can build more empathy & attachment to our MC. #Revpit #10Queries
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FP9: Good job bringing us to the scene of inciting incident right away! Try shifting focus to MC’s intentions rather (via interiority) rather than just things happening TO them. External obstacles are interesting but need to get us on board with our MC otherwise readers will drift #Revpit #10Queries
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QL9: Love premise and setting! Can really envision it! We know what MC is up against, but not what is driving them. After inciting incident, how does it get worse before it gets better? Don’t discuss themes outright, they should be clear from specific plot and character details. #Revpit #10Queries
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FP8: Simply STELLAR FP! Great imbalance & tension. Beginning is emotionally on point & hooks us. However, while there’s tension (setting is helping) there’s no evolution/surprise/curiosity about the future once things get underway. Can we/MC not know exactly how it’ll go? #Revpit #10Queries
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QL8: Strong emotional hook! Need specific & clear language so we know what’s happening in the plot. Show escalating tension UNTIL the climax and leave us with a cliff hanger so we are curious to read. Unclear how two plotlines intertwine—show causality. #Revpit #10Queries
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FP7: Great interiority and carrying out of the premise, but we don’t have enough context to anchor us in the scene. Put us in time and place, give MC direction, goal they want to accomplish. Issues of the QL manifesting here—focus on your character, not just the world they’re in. #Revpit #10Queries
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QL7: EXCELLENT premise! How does the MC’s flaws/misbeliefs/goals make them the perfect person to go on this journey? How will they evolve and what do they want to accomplish aside from the obvious? Stories are about characters, not concepts. #Revpit #10Queries
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FP6: Don’t think we’re starting in the right place. Too explanation/set up heavy. Can weave in this back story later. Find a moment where everything changes and start there. Dialogue feels for the reader’s benefit. POV waffles, stay in it. Line-level writing is impressive! #Revpit #10Queries
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QL6: Well-structured but too long. Keep it under 400w (375 is preferable). Need specific external goal reader can envision. Focusing too much on the world, not enough on the MC and their arc. Topic/time period feels fresh though, so lots of potential! #Revpit #10Queries
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FP5: Line-level writing is strong, also nice subtle use of humor. But focusing too much on set up—almost list making—and instead should be centered on MC. We want to be in their head! How does all this affect THEM and what do they think about what is happening? #Revpit #10Queries
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QL5: You get to the good stuff at the end! Expand on that/reframe the plot paragraphs so we are not in synopsis mode but focusing on GMC: who MC is, what they want, why they want it, what’s standing in their way and what’s at stake if they don’t get it. #Revpit #10Queries
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FP4: Great voice, right to the action & building empathy for character. Format is accessible & clever. Drifting in parts with too much info—lead your reader to what is important. Give MC more direction rather than just overcoming obstacles—what are they striving for and why? #Revpit #10Queries
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QL4: Nice use of voice without taking up extra words and love how you intro your comps (but include author names, too). Unclear if MC’s problem is the ULTIMATE problem/climax or just the inciting incident? Either way, need to show the progression of the plot. #Revpit #10Queries
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FP3: Good writing! Voice is mostly MG, just a few lapses (stay in the kid’s mind). Tension is leaked early on—try withholding info/dripping it out slowly so we stay on our toes. Excellent use of dialogue, pace feels good so with a little reorg you’ll end on a nice cliff hanger. #Revpit #10Queries
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QL3: Very well-written. Tight and to the point! Room for clarification—MC is worried about something, but how does their stated goal ease that worry? And how does dilemma they face tie into all this? Causality/connection missing. Fill in the internal/external arc details. #Revpit #10Queries
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FP2: Good use of dialogue to keep things lively. Interiority needs beefing up. We understand what emotion MC is feeling but not WHY. Context would help. Also, by the end we don’t have enough conflict. Need to pose a question in reader’s head: will MC will succeed at X or not? #Revpit #10Queries
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QL2: Logline and book details at the top would help color our read of the QL. Also, is this dual POV? Seems so but need to specify. Too much focus on MCs’ background—shorten that and get to inciting incident and escalating tension of the plot. #Revpit #10Queries
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FP1: Great physicality in these pages. Definitely feeling empathy for the MC. Would help to know what they are hoping to happen and why, not much agency/direction with the MC right now. Need to plant some curiosity seeds here so we want to keep reading. #Revpit #10Queries
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QL1: FASCINATING premise. Bio is fire. But need Hook Book Cook format. 1st: personalization/comps/genre/wordcount/logline; 2nd: ESCALATING plot details with character arc; 3rd: your amazing bio (but condense please). #Revpit #10Queries
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Welcome to my 1st #RevPit #10Queries of 2026! Queries/pages selected at random & feedback is vague to benefit anyone who might be #amquerying! Feel free to @ me/ask questions in the comments/guess which query is yours! (I won’t confirm or deny now—authors will get emails after winners are revealed).
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And that wraps up my first #10Queries! Hopefully this information is helpful to everyone. If you have any questions (beyond "is this my sub"--it's a secret), feel free to comment #RevPit #10Queries
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...to strengthen your first chapter enough that you're proud and eager to share it. #RevPit #10Queries
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P10: This opening is primarily dialogue. Remember: you don't want dialogue to *just* serve as a way to provide the reader with information. You also want to use it to show and develop the characters themselves. And like before, try to avoid white room syndrome. Check above thread #RevPit #10Queries
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P9: This is a great example of when I say "start with activity, not action." The MC is not doing anything huge, but something important, specifically to her. It carries us through an otherwise uneventful scene and lets us sit with the emotions. Great work. #RevPit #10Queries
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Q9: A H
There's a lot to like here. The romance angle, the representation. That being said, the worldbuilding threw me off a bit. I'm not so sure about this somewhat-paranormal threat or where it comes from, or if it'll be believably resolved. There's a missing piece here. #RevPit #10Queries
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