#12BotsofChristmasRemastered

Twelve Drumbots – robots in the form of little drums with banded arms and legs – half of them coloured red and half of them coloured green, marching forward. Most are joyfully playing themselves, but one is twirling its stick and looking smug about it, one has dropped its sticks and looks distraught as it reaches for them, one is playing another of the Drumbots (which doesn’t look happy about it), one has thrown a stick in the air and it's fallen down and hit it in the eye, and one is holding its sticks up and yelling triumphantly.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Bigbot gave to me...

Twelve Drumbots Drumming...

#12BotsofChristmasRemastered

Eleven cylindrical robots joined together to form a very long set of panpipes. The robots' bodies decrease in height from left to right so that their banded legs have to get increasingly long to keep them level. The robots are making various facial expressions (and one is asleep, obviously), and musical notes surround them.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my Bigbot gave to me...

Eleven Pipebots Piping...

#12BotsofChristmasRemastered

Ten Mayorbots - ovoid robots with banded arms and legs, wearing black top hats and sashes reading ‘MAYOR’ - in and beside a duck pond set in grassy parkland, being comprehensively savaged by many, many Mischiefbots – tiny robots that are shaped like spheres, cubes, or pyramids. They're variously jumping out of the way or being forced into the water, with hats and sashes in disarray. Two ducks look on, bemused.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my Bigbot gave to me...

Ten Lordbots Leaping...

#12BotsofChristmasRemastered

A darkened disco, with an illuminated dancefloor of checkerboard red and green panels. Nine robots are dancing, and all of them are Followerbots – robots based on real followers of mine (from Twitter, for the most part) who won competitions and also are women. From left to right we have Hattiebot (an ovoid robot with a little ringed planet on her antenna); Muckypupbot (looks like a little dog splattered with mud which is leaving muddy footprints on the dancefloor); Bethbot (has a propellor flying in the air, with a mop of red hair and glasses); Internetmombot (FKA Internetdadbot, ovoid with long, brown hair); Rossybot (is wearing a sort of woolly parka hood); Hottoastbot (shaped like a desk lamp for reasons that escape me); Amandabot (has frizzy reddish hair and glasses); Doctorbethbot (ovoid with dark hair, a pith helmet, and a red bowtie); and Tutbot (spherical, holding a glass of gin and wearing a purple fedora, staring sternly over her glasses). Discobot (a disco ball with sparkly platform shoes) hangs from the ceiling above, and at the back Littlegreyboatbot (one of the Ladybots in the previous version, but now not) has crashed through the wall and Emmabot (spherical, freckles, a brown ponytail) is smiling up at it, while Snathebot (a Custombot based on the real LGB’s spouse) peers over the gunwales. Basically, there’s a lot going on.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my Bigbot gave to me...

Nine Ladybots Dancing...

#12BotsofChristmasRemastered

A Cowbot - a large, spherical robot with piebald patches, like the classic Holstein Friesian breed, with little horns, a golden bell hanging from where its neck would be if it wasn't just a big sphere, a pink snout, and a giant spring on a single foot instead of legs - with a tap on its side dispensing milk. Eight Maidbots - ovoid robots with banded arms and legs and blonde hair in braided pigtails - are lined up beside it with Pailbots - little metal buckets with legs and eyes, basically. The first Maidbot is walking away, smiling contentedly with a filled Pailbot (also looking content) in one arm. The second is leaning against the Cowbot, whistling with one hand in its pocket as its Pailbot on the ground is filled by a stream of milk from the tap. The Maidbot behind it looks annoyed, and its Pailbot is asleep. The next Maidbot is smiling with an indifferent Pailbot. Then the next Pailbot looks angry and is on the ground, kicking its feet, while the Maidbot seems annoyed and trying to control it. Then the next Maidbot is asleep (Pailbot not visible), the next is smiling with its Pailbot facing away from the frame, and the last one in the queue is angrily waving its arms around, while its Pailbot peeks out from behind its legs, staring daggers at the Maidbot at the front. Text in the top right reads, "12 'BOTS OF CHRISTMAS REMASTERED" in alternating red and green letters.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my Bigbot gave to me...

Eight Maidbots Milking...

#12BotsofChristmasRemastered

A swimming pool divided into seven lanes by red and green dividers. Swanbots - white robots shaped like swans with hinged wings and banded necks - are thrashing along each lane, each inexplicably wearing a swimming cap and goggles. Text in the top right corner reads, "12 'BOTS OF CHRISTMAS REMASTERED".

On the seventh day of Christmas, my Bigbot gave to me...

Seven Swanbots Swimming...

#12BotsofChristmasRemastered

Six Goosebots; robots in the form of angry geese, with spherical heads, bodies with integrated tails, banded legs with big, flat, webbed feet, and banded necks. They're mostly white, with orange legs and feet, and black metallic necks. Their beaks have horrible little teeth and their tongues are also long and banded. They're all laying eggs, causing havoc in various ways: one is tromping through its own egg, making a mess, one is laying its egg on a fleeing Tinybot, one is bouncing Teabot away with its egg (which is emerging from a mechanical, irising cloaca), one is firing its egg into the distance and one is kicking its egg ahead of it. Text in the bottom left reads, "12 'BOTS OF CHRISTMAS REMASTERED" in alternating red and green letters.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my Bigbot gave to me...

Six Goosebots Laying...

#12BotsofChristmasRemastered

A human hand sporting five gold-coloured Ringbots, each consisting of a spherical body with a face and a banded loop encircling the finger. Most of them are smiling, but the one on the middle finger is asleep and the one on the little finger looks a bit upset. The hand's skin is deep tan and has painted red nails. Text in the bottom right reads, "12 'BOTS OF CHRISTMAS REMASTERED" in alternating red and green letters.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my Bigbot gave to me...

FIIIIIVE GOOOOOLD RINGBOTS!!!!

#12BotsofChristmasRemastered

An image split into four sections, each one showing a different type of Birbbot engaged in a group call with one another. The first looks like a robin and is angrily shouting into a phone held to its ear, the second is a Flamingbot (a robot resembling a flamingo composed of pink ovoids connected with a banded neck) wearing a bluetooth earpiece and looking upset, the next is a Superbowlbot (a robot that looks like an owl) looking shocked at a phone in its wing and the last is a Penguinbot (a robot penguin wearing a red bow tie) wincing at a phone also held to its ear. Each robot has a pastel background (teal grey for the Robinbot, mint green for Flamingbot, dull pink for Superbowlbot, and powder blue for Penguinbot). Text in the top left corner reads, "12 'Bots of Christmas Remastered in alternating red and green letters.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my Bigbot gave to me...

Four Calling Birbbots...

#12BotsofChristmasRemastered

Three robots in the form of beige hens, with hinged wings and each supported by a spring on a single large, orange foot. They are wearing berets and wobbling slightly as they appear to be having a heated discussion. Text in the lower left reads, "12 'BOTS OF CHRISTMAS REMASTERED" in alternating red and green.

On the third day of Christmas, my Bigbot gave to me...

Three French Henbots...

#12BotsofChristmasRemastered

Two robots in the form of grey doves with hinged, brown wings that have dark triangular patterns on them. Each also has a set of black tail feathers with white tips. One robot is ducking down and happily displaying these feathers in a fan while the other watches in amazement. Text in the top right reads, "12 'BOTS OF CHRISTMAS REMASTERED" in alternating red and green letters.

On the second day of Christmas, my Bigbot gave to me...

Two Turtledovebots...

#12BotsofChristmasRemastered

A grey-brown robot in the form of a plump little partridge with hinged wings, perched amidst the foliage of a robot in the form of a tree in a terracotta pot, with its face on the trunk, hung with little pear-shaped robots (yes, one is asleep). A speech bubble coming from the Partridgebot, which looks surprisingly angry, says "ah-ha!". In the bottom right is a logo reading, "12 'BOTS OF CHRISTMAS REMASTERED" with the letters alternately red and green.

On the first day of Christmas, my Bigbot gave to me...

A Partridgebot in a Peartreebot!

#12BotsofChristmasRemastered