I never knew what it was really like to have a mother until I met my mom a year ago.
#adoptionistrauma #motherslove

Responding with “I wish I’d been adopted” to an adoptee’s post about their trauma is just another way to silence survivors and negate our pain.
#adopteevoices #adoptionistrauma

People always say “she chose adoption so her child could have a better life” But if that’s the standard then why aren’t all parents lining up to do the same? There’s always someone that could give your child a better life, right? Why isn’t everyone held to this standard? #adoptionistrauma

A year ago I was getting ready to take the trip of my life to meet my mother and my family. I was excited but scared. It ended up being more life changing than I could’ve ever imagined.
#adoption #adoptee #ghostkingdom #adopteevoices #adoptionistrauma
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...

Been talking to a cousin on my mom's side. Tonight she confirmed a story my father's brother told me. It's wild how similar we are despite being raised apart. Found out tonight my go to Karaoke songs were ones my mom liked. #adoptionistrauma

Telling a mother that she can’t take care of her child so the loving thing to do is to give her child to strangers - is blackmail.

The loving thing to do is to help her take care of her child.
#coercion #adoptionistrauma #emotionalabuse

Adoption requires a few things that make the 'cure' just as bad (if not worse) than the 'sickness'. There is no good reason to: • permanently sever a child from ALL kin (not just mom & dad), including ancestral history. • enter a child into a contract they can't consent to and can never revoke, rescind, or annul. • falsify a child's authentic natal identity and force them to use a fake birth certificate as legal ID. • brainwash a child into believing that strangers are mommy & daddy. • put a child in a position of expected gratitude by society. • raise a child apart from their inherent culture and community. • offer zero protection for the child to even know they're adopted, which deprives them of their medical history and can lead to accidental incest. Motherloss, genetic bewilderment, and identity falsification are profound traumas that plenary adoption creates.

I’ve shared this everywhere but here. If adoption does ANY of these things, even one of them, it’s deeply unethical. #adoptionistrauma

The signature of a young woman in a crisis erased her and my family from my life. The signature of a stranger erased me from my family and reassigned me to the stranger’s family. My signature is nowhere on there but my life was permanently altered.
#adoptionistrauma

My mom and family were completely erased from my life and I was completely erased from my family.
#adoptionistrauma

One thing I hear adoptees say a lot that definitely resonates with me is that their childhoods were lonely.
#adoptionistrauma #adopteevoices

Adopters are one of the most protected groups of people.
#adoptionistrauma

Adoption didn’t just permanently alter my life but my children’s lives also. They would have had people that loved and adored them. They would have had amazing experiences growing up. Adoption is generational trauma and erasure.
#adoptionistrauma

I didn’t need a different family. I needed my family to be supported.
#adoption #loss #adoptionistrauma

Adoption is promoted as giving a child to a ‘loving family’ but the truth is no one knows that because they really don’t know these people. What we do know is the child is being given to strangers and that’s rarely the only option - and it’s trauma. #adoptionistrauma

The witness protection program is the last resort because of the extreme measures of changing and erasing an identity and the sacrifice of losing family - but we do this every day to adoptees and people call it ‘beautiful’.
#adoptionistrauma

There are two ways to help a pregnant mother in a crisis to care for her child.
1. Step into her life and help her and the child.
2. Blackmail her that you’ll help her child if you can own the child and make it yours.
#adoptionistrauma

My mother was told I’d be better off without her. I always believed my mother was better off without me. It was all lies. #adoptionistrauma

Knowing my mother now, the pain is palpable that I’ve lived my whole life without her. Adoption is so much pain and trauma. #adoptionistrauma

Someone saying they are “desperate for a baby” should be a massive red flag.
#adoptionistrauma

Adoption usually means giving a child to strangers. That should be the absolute last resort option as it would be in any other situation. It isn’t beautiful - it’s trauma.
(Vetting someone doesn’t make them not a stranger.)
#adoptionistrauma #childrights

The opposite of love is use. If you’re using a child to meet your needs and build your family while ignoring the child’s needs and rights to their family - that’s not love.
#useisnotlove #adoptionistrauma

The Year I Met My Family The hardest part is realizing my family was always out there—we were just living in two different timelines.

“This year, I had to process losing two families: the one I thought I had and the one I never had.”
#adoptionistrauma #adopteevoices #family

open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...

One of the first things adoptees are frequently asked when looking for their family is “what do you want?”

For many of us, the answer is simple - we want our family.
#adoptionistrauma #myfamily

Why are suicide rates so high for adoptees? Because our pain is not just ignored - it’s called ‘beautiful’.
#adoptionistrauma

Adoptees are trauma survivors. Many are abuse survivors also. Whether the outcome was a good experience or not - adoption is trauma.
#adoptionistrauma

If adoptive parents hide information from an adoptee, lie to them, or don’t help the adoptee know their identity, heritage, and family - then the adoptee didn’t go to a loving home - but a controlling one.
#adoptionistrauma #lovedoesnthurt

We Are Not the Shame: Adoptee Stories from the Baby Scoop Era No one stood up for our mothers then. But we will now. We are the living proof that our mothers deserved better — and so did we.

“Parents blamed their daughters for sinning by having sex, yet self-righteously gave away their grandchildren and inflicted tremendous harm on the very daughters they shamed.”

And this still happens…
#adoptionistrauma #NotMyShame
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...

Adoption is not child welfare. If you believe it is then you’re believing the propaganda of a 25 billion dollar industry that supports high control religion’s agendas. #adoptionistrauma

I just got back from introducing my adult children to their grandmother and family and seeing an ad promoting adoption which caused my mother and all of us so much pain is devastating. Listen to adoptees and mothers that lost their children. #adoptionistrauma #nomore

Everyone understands the enormous pain of child loss but child loss from adoption is not even acknowledged.
#adoptionistrauma