Syrian Regime Practices New Hobby: Extreme People Un-friending Techniques #Satire #RealNewsIsWeird #MiddleEastProblems #InternationalOutrage #DruzeDrama By: TheJestPress.com **Syrian Regime Responds to War Crimes Allegations With "Totally New Level of Brutality"—Orders Staff to Innovate Cruelty** DAMASCUS—In a move that shocked precisely no one, Syrian regime forces have reportedly “adopted brutal tactics,” according to international investigators who have apparently never read a single news headline from the last decade. Eyewitness accounts claim Druze civilians were targeted in a baffling attempt by the Assad regime to spice up their greatest hits catalog of human rights violations.

Syrian Regime Practices New Hobby: Extreme People Un-friending Techniques

#Satire #RealNewsIsWeird #MiddleEastProblems #InternationalOutrage #DruzeDrama By: TheJestPress.com **Syrian Regime Responds to War Crimes Allegations With "Totally New Level of Brutality"—Orders Staff to Innovate Cruelty**…

Israel Joins Family Feud: Druze and Bedouin Clans Settle Scores! #MiddleEastMayhem #InternationalIncident #DruzeDrama #BedouinBrouhaha #MakeSyriaChillAgain By: TheJestPress.com In what experts are now calling “Tuesday,” Israel launched its latest round of attacks on the Syrian military after accidentally overhearing the words “clash” and “deadly” in the same sentence uttered within a 500-mile radius. Sources confirm that as Druze and Bedouin clans clashed violently in southern Syria over whose ancestors invented hummus, Israel took the opportunity to do what it does best: join the fight from a safe distance.

Israel Joins Family Feud: Druze and Bedouin Clans Settle Scores!

#MiddleEastMayhem #InternationalIncident #DruzeDrama #BedouinBrouhaha #MakeSyriaChillAgain By: TheJestPress.com In what experts are now calling “Tuesday,” Israel launched its latest round of attacks on the Syrian military after…