BREAKING NEWS

A #growth phase has been detected.

Symptoms may include:
• mild existential #dread
• inconvenient #selfawareness
• #paperwork

Protective gear advised.
Further personal development has been postponed.

Citizens may report symptom severity below.

Carry on.
#EmotionalPaperwork

Your spiraling has been approved.
No further action required.

Carry on.
#ReluctantWisdom #BegrudginglyGrateful #EmotionalPaperwork