#FakeSpringFacts they are safer than elastomeric bushings
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#FakeSpringFacts
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#FakeSpringFacts All the women get together and dress in their most Unrevealing muumuus and topcoats then dance around a Snowman thus saying goodbye to winter.
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#FakeSpringFacts it's like there's a party in my nasal passages
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It's winter for Poland and France
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It's the curry or hot pepper of seasons
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Those animals are just giving each other piggy-back rides
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It gets warm and dry and stays that way
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It never inspires any hashtags
#FakeSpringFacts
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Wind chimes keep the gnomes away. #FakeSpringFacts
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#FakeSpringFacts
Tigger and Eeyore were really one character in different phases of a mood disorder.
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The founder of the food delivery franchise "Just Eat" was previously a renowned lepidopterist. He was inspired to open his new venture following a question at one of his lectures about what it is that caterpillars do.
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Recently sightings of a Tigger in the desert have been debunked by locals who discovered and rescued a coyote in an A.C.M.E. bumblebee costume from whose...let's say rear orifice veterinarians have also removed a giant A.C.M.E. spring.
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#FakeSpringFacts Jelly beans and Peeps must be planted deep in the ground after the last frost in order to completely not have them around until next year.
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#FakeSpringFacts hay fever can be cured by soaking the hay in alcohol and then drinking the alcohol...preferably whiskey.
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@caffeineandhate.bsky.social
#FakeSpringFacts
The May Pole celebration was originally the holy anal rail gun celebration.
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At the spring equinox, the rotation of the flat Earth reduces from 45rpm (revolutions led month) to 33.3rpm.
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Maine's vaunted "Poland Spring" water is 100% recycled sewer water, like this GIF says¹!
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_
1.👩🔬:don't get us sued!!!—👩:🤷♀️
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In early spring, people gather outside a remote badger sett in Surrey to watch Brian May emerge. If he does not immediately return inside, the spectators know if it safe to remove their cardigans.
#FakeSpringFacts
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#FakeSpringFacts if you show this Sticker to your spouse, significant other, or crush, that person will undress immediately. Then you’ll have the best sex of your life.
I’m not lying.
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#FakeSpringFacts
Only springs manufactures in Spring are officially springs. All others are technically and legally recognized as "bouncy-twisty bits"
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In spring, the weather can change so often that it can cause epileptic seizures.
#FakeSpringFacts
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Best 4 days in Canada. That’s a lie. It’s 3
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In Tudor England people believed that tadpoles were the reincarnated souls of Spanish swordsman that had been killed in wars against the English Crown
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