🎵 We fish you a merry Christmas! We fish you a merry Christmas! We fish you a merry Christmas, and a happy new fish! Good tidings we bring to you and your fish: good tidings of Fishmas and a happy new fish! 🎵
#FishmasCarols #0MoreSleeps #MerryFishmas #MerryChristmas #WhenIsDoctorWhoOn
5/5

🎵 We won’t go until we get some! We won’t go until we get some! We won’t go until we get some, so bring us our fish! Good tidings we bring to you and your fish: good tidings of Fishmas and a happy new fish! 🎵
#FishmasCarols #0MoreSleeps #MerryFishmas #MerryChristmas #WhenIsDoctorWhoOn
4/5

🎵 We all love our fishy pudding! We all love our fishy pudding! We all love our fishy pudding, so bring it out here! Good tidings we bring to you and your fish: good tidings of Fishmas and a happy new fish! 🎵
#FishmasCarols #0MoreSleeps #MerryFishmas #MerryChristmas #WhenIsDoctorWhoOn
3/5

🎵 Now bring us some fishy pudding! Now bring us some fishy pudding! Now bring us some fishy pudding, and bring it right here! Good tidings we bring to you and your fish: good tidings of Fishmas and a happy new fish! 🎵
#FishmasCarols #0MoreSleeps #MerryFishmas #MerryChristmas #WhenIsDoctorWhoOn
2/5

Really nice cartoon of some fish, most of them head-up, one of them tail-up, in an upside-down santa hat, christmas stocking style. Light green background with snow. Strong but gentle colouring. "Merry Fishmas" is written at the bottom. And if you've stuck with me through this whole series — or even if you haven't — thank you. May I take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very merry Christmas indeed. Now, seriously, what time is Doctor Who on?

🎵 We fish you a merry Christmas; we fish you a merry Christmas; we fish you a merry Christmas, and a happy new fish! Good tidings we bring to you and your fish: good tidings of Fishmas and a happy new fish! 🎵
#FishmasCarols #0MoreSleeps #MerryFishmas #MerryChristmas #WhenIsDoctorWhoOn
1/5

Right. Here we have a photo of a dark-brown muddy-toned carp. Not a pretty, fancy koi: a real carp. We're looking at him head-on, he's looking back at us, and it's just the carp, no background. Background, such as it is, is just white. With those things that dangle from carps' mouths, he looks like he has a moustache. Naturally, he has a santa hat on. He's Santa Claus; that's what the song post is about today. His mouth is open: he saw what you did, and frankly he's pretty shocked. I think we can say with some measure of confidence that you'll be getting a lump of coal this year. Don't say you weren't warned.

🎵 He sees you when you’re fishing; he knows that you eat hake … Santa Cod is coming to town. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #1MoreSleep

Pretty little angel-fish ornament on a christmas tree. Looks like a fir of some sort. White LED light in the background. The fish is coloured kind of a bright orange at the edges, going to yellow moving inward into the next layer, and white in the centre. It has blue glittery stripes. Funnily enough, the cat mentioned in the main text also has stripes. But he's neither blue nor glittery. He's only got one eye.

🎵 Carp! The herald angel-fish; my cat wants him in his dish. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #2MoreSleeps

Medieval looking nativity scene — just the Virgin, St. Joseph, and the baby Jesus — cut out of the main pic and pasted into a very dark blue picture of a reef or something. There's a star shining in the centre; I guess you could imagine it's above the water and shining down and in. And surrounding the holy family are, fairly obviously photoshopped on top of everything, a collection of large marine life, like sharks and dolphins and such. It's kind of weird. But cool. Hardly realistic, but let's be honest: camels spit at people. Dolphins just want to play and badger you to give them fish.

🎵 The Virgin Mary had a baby koi; the Virgin Mary had a baby koi; the Virgin Mary had a baby koi, and you know they called him Fishtar. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #3MoreSleeps

Classic santa pic with the red rosy cheeks and nose and the big ho-ho-ho mouth; looks like it came straight out of one of those 1930s Coca-Cola adverts. But here he's got a green ball-cap on, a rod-and-reel in his hand, and he's caught himself a wide-mouthed bass. He's gonna have the long-suffering Mrs. Claus rustle him up a helluva Christmas dinner once he's back from doing the rounds. He has clearly hit the jackpot here. On a personal note, in the current political climate, I'm kind of thankful that the ball cap isn't red.

🎵 Up on the poop deck, lobster claws; out jumps good old Santa Claus … 🎵
#FishmasCarols #4MoreSleeps

Cartoon of a very stylised, shocked-looking koi fish, with his pupils suggesting he's looking slightly up. Like at the Star of Bethlehem. Or maybe a nice bit of food on a hook. Who can say? And he's got a santa hat on, too. Of course. There are also words: "Merry Fishmas". If you've been following this series, you won't be surprised by that.

🎵 Adeste piscates,* laeti triumphantes. Venite, venite in Bethlehem! 🎵 #FishmasCarols #5MoreSleeps

*Right; nobody correct my Latin; I know it's wrong; I know what the form really is; but this is a joke and the meter's gotta work. 'k?

Ok, we're back to the theme of creatures wearing santa hats that have no business wearing santa hats. This one's a front-facing photo of a real live crawfish with his arms and claws extended upward. In addition to the santa hat, there's a string of christmas lights above him. and next to him the words "Merry Christmas, y'all". He's clearly a Louisiana crawfish; that's why he says "y'all". It's a thing we say down south, and a damned useful replacement for the separate 2nd person plural pronoun that the English language irresponsibly went and lost a couple of centuries back.

🎵 Rudolph the snappy crawfish had the very shiny claws. And if you ever saw them, that would stop and give you pause. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #6MoreSleeps

Three huge golden koi surfacing at what's obviously feeding time, mouths agape. They pretty much look like they might take your hand off if you're not careful. They're clearly convinced that nobody has fed them in years. My cat's a bit like that.

🎵 Do they know it’s Fishmastime at all? Feeed the fiiish; give them just a little pinch, and feeed the fiiish … 🎵
#FishmasCarols #7MoreSleeps

Guy with a black leather jacket and a black ball cap getting smacked across the face with a fish. There's a cartoon explosion with "Kapow!" written across it, like they used to do in the 1960s Batman television series. It works in the context.

🎵 Rockin’ around the Fishmas Tree, get a bass upside your head. [rhythmic smack]. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #8MoreSleeps

Ok, so this is actually not a photo of a catfish; it's a koi; but, honestly, you'd be hard-pressed to tell the difference if you weren't really paying attention. Some clever person has given it whiskers of the Santa Claus type around his mouth and cheeks and, of course, the obligatory santa hat. He's in a bubbly tank with bubbles all around. And if he were brown and not gold and white, seriously, you'd think he was a catfish. I did try to find a good catfish photo but ... meh ... none of them really worked. This'll do.

🎵 The cattle are lowing, the catfish awakes. But little lord Fishtar, no crying he makes. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #9MoreSleeps

It's a stunningly clear, beautiful midnight in Arkham, Massachusetts. We see a serene christmas scene done in blue hues. There's an elegant house with a spire (for want of a better word) in the background. It is all decked out with traditional-looking Christmas lights outlining the building. In the foreground we see close-up a chimney with Santa going down it, in his red fur-trimmed suit and a huge, elegant red sack of toys on his back. But he is not the Santa we know and love, oh no. This is Cthulhu whose head pokes out of that beloved suit, with a few tentacles coming out of the arm-hole to boot. Maybe he's feeling generous tonight; maybe you'll wake up with all your Christmas dreams come true. Or maybe he's coming down the chimney to eat your soul. Who can say?

🎵 … to save us all from Cthulu’s pow’r when we were under-sea. Ooh tidings of comfort & koi, comfort & koi … 🎵
#FishmasCarols #10MoreSleeps

This one's kind of sweet, actually. Not my usual fare for this particular series of posts. What we've got here is a water-colour christmas-card-looking pic of a young woman in a canoe with a christmas tree on it. The sky is dark and filled with stars. Under the water is a whale almost surfacing to touch the girl's outstretched hand. It's not really in keeping with the actual words of the post, at all. But that's just fine with me, because there really should be a limit to one's own smart-assery when it comes to whaling. I can live with the mismatch. I like this picture.

🎵 … dee-ee-eeply whaling, dee-ee-eeply whaling, dee-ee-eeply whaling, shall we those Norwegians see. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #11MoreSleeps

Cartoon depiction of a bass on an all-white background. The fish is basically black with a white underbelly. The only colour is the red of his tongue. He's yelling — perhaps "Repent! For the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!" He means it and there's a bit of urgency to it ... but not so much urgency that he's not prepared to declare the other basses around him a "brood of vipers" and demand that they tell him "who warned you to flee from the wrath to come?" I mean, he's not so desperate that he's interested in sharing heaven with a bunch of uptight jerks. But he's desperate enough that the nice folk should get in. He probably doesn't look as crazed as we always seem to imagine that the real John the Baptist did.

🎵 On Jordan’s bank the bass's cry announces that our fish are nigh. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #12MoreSleeps

Right. This is a straight-up photograph of the iconic Big Mouth Billy Bass. No santa hat. No lights. No christmas stuff. No nothing. Only here you've got to use your imagination. You're not supposed to imagine him singing "Don't Worry; Be Happy" or "Rock Me on the Water" or some other such thing that he often sings. Not even that Creedence Clearwater Revival song that I can't quite place at the moment but know far too well to find myself in this situation of forgetfulness. No, here you have to imagine him singing that most excellent second verse of "Ding Dong Merrily on High". But with fish stuff. You feel free to sing aloud with it, too. Everyone around you will thank you for it.

🎵 Meanwhile here below below, let steeple bells be swungen. And i-o i-o i-o by fish and people sungen. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #13MoreSleeps

Realistic cartoon-looking shark wrapped up with multi-coloured christmas lights, with a star on his dorsal fin and a santa hat on his nose. It was that last bit that sold me on the pic. How do you top a shark with a santa hat on his nose, of all places? This is a most excellent shark.

🎵 Glo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ria. Hosanna in a shark tank. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #14moresleeps

It's a cartoon pic of a fish in the style of a snowman. Hat and scarf, carrot nose, mouth made out of coal chunks. That sort of thing. It's not terribly interesting; but it makes the point well enough. It's not like googling "fish, snowman" is going to yield a helluva lot of results, so you kinda gotta work with what you're given.

🎵 Frosty the Fishman was a very happy sole. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #15moresleeps

It's a cute blue cartoon cuttlefish with big cute eyes and big cute pupils and all its cute little tentacles and he's wearing a santa hat. He couldn't look any less like Cthulhu if he tried. But just you hang on: we ain't done with holiday tentacles, yet ...

🎵 Once in royal Fishtar’s city, stood a lowly cuttlefish. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #16moresleeps

It’s a close-up of a real life minnow in a tank full of green plants, with a cartoon santa hat photoshopped on. I did that last bit myself. Simple cut-and-paste job, really, but I’m kind of proud of it.

🎵 It came upon a minnow clear, that glorious pond of old. 🎵

#FishmasCarols #17moresleeps

you should check out day 1 of my advent #FishmasCarols. I’ve been singing it for yeeears. Summer not excluded. My family all hate me now. Even the cats.

Basically, it's a realistic-looking picture of a trout on a white background. Just the trout, nothing else except a santa hat. he's not looking cute or anything; he just looks like a regular real-life trout that someone stuck a santa hat on. The words say "Merry FISHmas, y'all". I like the word "y'all", for I am a southern boy.

🎵 O little trout of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie. Above thy deep & wat'ry sleep, the silent cod swim by. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #18moresleeps

You know those fish that beauty salons keep whole tanks of so you can stick your feet in and they'll nibble away the hard skin and give you a pedicure? Yeah, this is a close up of a big ol' foot with christmas-red painted nails and a swarm of those fish just a-nibbling away.

🎵 Fishnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack Fish nipping at your toes. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #19moresleeps

It's a school of about six or seven white koi fish with light black mottling. They have santa hats on. I suspect the santa hats were photoshopped in.

🎵 Koi to the world! The fish has come! Let earth receive her fish! 🎵
#FishmasCarols #20MoreSleeps

It's a multicoloured christmas tree illustration. with lights on and sparkles and shiny little stars all around and presents under it and sprigs of holly all over it. It's the perfect little illustration for all your bright and perky christmas card wishes to all your little friends. Oh, and the branches are all fish.

🎵 O Fishmas Tree, O Fishmas Tree, how lovely are your flippers. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #21moresleeps

Cartoon of a whale. In a manger. He looks like of shocked. Which doesn't really seem surprising when you think about it.

🎵 A whale in a manger, no crib for a bed. The little lord Fishtar lay down his sweet head. 🎵
#FishmasCarols #22moresleeps

Really old guy with the scruffiest of santa-looking beards in a red plaid shirt and a red beanie holding up a big-ass fish by its tail. he looks faintly crazed. the guy. not the fish.

🎵 God rest ye, merry fishermen; no hur-ri-canes dismay. For Jesus Christ our Saviour was born on Fishmas Day! 🎵
#FishmasCarols #23moresleeps

This is a photo, with a black background, of two gorgeous male betta fish, one red and one blue, forming the shape of a heart with their bodies, the tails forming the top of the heart. They're probably going to attack each other sooner or later, because — frankly — that's what two male betta fish do when you put 'em together in a tank. But for now the picture looks peaceful and serene and beautiful. Don't think about the future. The blood-bath can wait. Merry Christmas.

🎵 Last Fishmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave me a fish. 🎵
#fishmascarols #24moresleeps