"Veteran of Sandwich Wars Granted Freedom; Felony Footlong Charge Reduced to Minor Munchy Misunderstanding" #SatireNews
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#FootlongFreedom #VeteranHumor
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Cheating Husband’s Jail Plan Fails, Commits Crime Sequel for Extra Time #Satire #CrimeNews #FloridaManEnergy #Overachiever #Facepalm By: TheJestPress.com In an unprecedented display of “go big or go home” logic, local suspect Gary Tindle reportedly told police he “already knew he was going to jail,” so he figured, “Why not double down?” after being apprehended for the murder of his unfaithful wife. Authorities now believe Tindle holds the record for the only person to treat felony charges like a late-night snack run—“If I’m already out, I might as well grab something extra.”

Cheating Husband’s Jail Plan Fails, Commits Crime Sequel for Extra Time

#Satire #CrimeNews #FloridaManEnergy #Overachiever #Facepalm By: TheJestPress.com In an unprecedented display of “go big or go home” logic, local suspect Gary Tindle reportedly told police he “already knew he was going to…

Hit-And-Run Boater Who Crashed Into Midway Aircraft Carrier Arrested For Boating Under The Influence - Jalopnik The Midway's dignified retirement was recently interrupted when a 65-foot motor boat banged into the warship.

When your weekend plans go way off course... ⛵🍸 💥🚢

Not every collision is criminal, but if your joyride ends in a historic aircraft carrier, it's time to call a lawyer.

showalterdefense.com

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