Hamish: “Ah, Helen. You’ll have had your tea?”
Helen: “Ah, Hamish. Well, no…”
Hamish: “Ach, there are never enough wee milks.”
Helen: “Well, I’m doing my best to milk this script.” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Hamish: “Why don’t you come and stay with me, Dougal, the Laird, and Mrs Naughtie up at the Big Hoose?” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Hamish: “Helen! You’ll have had your niece?”
Helen: “Actually… first cousin twice removed?” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Hamish: “Helen! You’ll have had your tea? Could we meet at 7ish? And again tomorrow at 2ish? And also on Sunday at 11ish?” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Helen: “I had a text earlier, from Hamish.”
Kirsty: “What did he say?”
Helen: “‘You’ll have had your tea.’” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Hamish: “Och, that’ll be Mrs Naughtie paging me. Goodbye.”
Helen: “Goodbye.” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Helen: “It must be lonely sometimes, in the Glen?”
Hamish: “I have a good crack.”
Helen: “Ah yes — your kilt’s got caught in your belt again?” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Hamish: “I’m single, by the way. It’s just me and Dougal and Mrs Naughtie and the Laird. And around 30 sheep.” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Helen: “I’ve loved seeing your Northies.”
Hamish: “Och, sorry aboot that – my kilt got caught in my belt!” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Natasha: “I helped my Dad build a boat once.”
Justin: “Well then. Maybe you can get us all off the #DesertIslandDiscs Island, and up to the Big Hoose in time for tea and crumpets with Mrs Naughtie?” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Hamish: “Can I take you up the Glen?”
Helen: “You’ll have to buy me a whisky first. Hang on – you’re not going to shoot yourself in the head, coercively control me, or emigrate to California are you?”
Hamish: “No, why do you ask?” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Tony: “This is the perfect fishing spot.”
Hamish: “I see you’re having some trouble with the casting.”
Tony: “You’ve heard about Amber, then?” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Mrs Naughtie: “I’ve made some tea. A meringue?”
Leonie: “No, you’re right. That’s a cup of tea all right.” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Hamish: “Ah, Dougal. You’ll have had your tea?”
Tony: “Ah, well, no… and it’s Tony?” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Lilian: “Justin’s sulking because he has to spend 8 hours in a minibus with the entire cast of #TheArchers. He wanted to take a 10-second scene transition sound effect instead.” #HamishAndDougal

Lilian: “Ah, Jakob. You’ll have had your tea?”
Jakob: “Er… no. Coffee, actually. And you needn’t start all that before we’re even in the Highlands." #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Thank you, #TheArchers tweetalongers. I’m off to help Mrs Naughtie prepare the Big Hoose and stock up on Tunnock’s Teacakes, Irn-Bru, and haggis. See you next week - in Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 #HamishAndDougal #YoullHaveHadYourTea #Brigadoon

Ruiauaiuaridh: “Mrs Naughtie’s on the phone again. She wants to know if we’ve had our tea?”
Brian: “Just say NO, Ruiauaiuaridh, FFS.” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal

Ruiauaiuaridh: “We’ve just had an email from Mrs Naughtie at the Scottish castle!”
Adam: “What does she say?”
Ruiauaiuaridh: “You’ll have had your tea. Also, she’s heard a rumour Prince Andrew might be moving in, so she’ll give us a huge discount if we can book it now!” #TheArchers #HamishAndDougal