why do I have a flat affect?
perhaps years of being ignored
while being told to be the best,
left to my own devices
to be a mediocre student
maybe a mediocre human
I'm full of hopelessness
with a side of worthless and
"you're a disappointment"
for dessert - it's enough
to drain the life out of anyone
like a beast who thrives on
pain and misery like one would
suck the marrow from bones
but to do that to a beast while
it's still alive would be cruel -
why is it okay if it's feelings and
words instead of actual bones?
A lifetime of being basically an afterthought, if you're thought of at all, hurts.
(I'm ok, this is just for the poem - suffering for my art and all that)
#emoetry #flat #hopelessness #ignored #poetry #writing #mentalillness