I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. —Steven Wright
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“Cancel culture” is just what conservatives call “the free market” when it does something they don’t like. —Dave Rahardja
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Talk to yourself like someone you love. —Brene Brown
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Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge. —C.G. Jung
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People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out on the pleasure. —Russell Baker
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Whenever I see something that says it’s “lab tested” I assume they let a Labrador chew on it for awhile and called it good. —Sean Heber
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don't allow anyone to make you feel like you're not good enough. —Adam Bouska
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Intelligence plus character—that is the goal of true education. —Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Sometimes we lose sight of why we’re doing what we’re doing. We get sick of certain aspects of our lives and forget the end goal. But everything has a purpose. There is a reason behind every struggle. —Connor Franta
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…and not to be a fact bitch here… —John Oliver
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do u ever hear something so dumb ur eyes physically roll out of ur head —Neel Patel
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You can't always believe what you read on the internet. —Kevin Ng
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At some point I let too many opinions get into my head that made me not feel so good about myself. —Antoine Dixon
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Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car. —Evan Davis
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Don't you hate it when people treat you like Cubic Zirconia? —Jordan Sammy Eugenio
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If you have to repeatedly tell yourself you don't care, then you obviously do. —Nick Who
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At times, I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear in bubbles over our heads. —John Costello
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Never speak of room zed. —David Mitchell
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For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled. —Richard Feynman
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You are made to make a difference, so embrace every opportunity to do so. —Adam Musso
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It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. —Charles Spurgeon
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If you twist, you fail. —Bob Mortimer
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who can you trust when those who are supposed to protect you are protecting the wrong interests? —Sean C.
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Space is just a word made up by someone who's afraid to be close. —Tony Tran
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The funny thing is when you start feeling happy alone, that’s when everyone decides to be with you. —Jim Carrey
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There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum. —Arthur C. Clarke
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I wish they would take me as I am. —Vincent van Gogh
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Everybody I ever loved, I still love a little. —Marilyn Monroe
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The quickest way to happiness: focus on yourself less. —Rome Grant
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Imagine what we can imagine! —Arthur Rubinstein
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