wibble and wobble
calm yourselves, ladies!
- me, to my boobs
#Punku
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blood in the night
feline fight
bandaid's delight
#Haikuish
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#Ow
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tfw doomscrolling is a better option than facing your work stress
*sigh*
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Alt text for a comic that doesn't exist:
In a long hallway of closed doors, a burly, eggheaded guard stands in front of one. Arms crossed, sour expression on his face, he says "Nope" to the brain standing in front of him. The door is labelled "Word for 'window' in Spanish"
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Bro so hot you forget how to say lithium.
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wound up for nothing
balling my eyes out
i could have sworn
the sign read
'yarn sale'
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forced to bark
instead of bite
- stolen dentures
#Haiku #Senryu
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*gets woken up in the night*
Awe. I was having a weird dream, too.
#MicroIWishItWereFiction
🥱
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Sometimes the Dreamrunner is a 🤘🏻rockstar movie director.
Sometimes it's a mad toddler Frankensteining their dolls.
Last night was B. Hurled back 25 years to lose The Love of Her Life again, to the woman he'd marry (whom he didn't even meet until a decade later).
0/5⭐️
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"Her bra was like a demon kept posessed too long. It did its' job, but in a way so onerous and painful that it was a serious question whether it mightn't be better to be done with it all..."
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1:17 a.m., Southern California
Me: *wakes, listens* No rain. I think we're finally done!
Mother Nature: Yeah, baby, no *it immediately starts pouring*
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'well, actually...'
shoulder sage clears their throat
'...um, nevermind'
#Haikuish
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sorry i'm late
'fetch me my robe,cat!'
- as _someone_ couldn't be arsed,
i couldn't either
#Haiku #Punku
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Them: Who's on First?
Me: A baseball player.
Them:
Me:
Them:
Me: Well, it's true!
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