A postal delivery company called…

Signed, Sealed & Delivery.

… or a baby delivery center.

#OLTORMD

I can't remember
if I have a bad memory or not.
#OLTORMD 👈🏼

HEY!
My doctor gives out free plastic shot glasses with screw down lids!
Let me know if I can
grab one for you!

#OLTORMD

I relate to cantaloupe.
because I, just like them,
can't-elope.

#OLTORMD

A real estate company…
called "Keep It".

#OLTORMD

I woke up to such a glorious day, and in a wonderful mood, I decided to take my 1959 Porsche 356 Speedster for a top-down drive.

… then, in a soul-crushing blow, I remembered that I don't even own a '59 Porsche 356 Speedster.

#OLTORMD

Goud spelyng
iz ovurayted

#OLTORMD

"The 2 greatest things about success:
YOU define it,
and you have as many chances at attaining it
as you want."

- Me
12/21/197X -
#OLTORMD

There's a specific word
for when you can't recall
a specific word.

… but I can't recall
the name
of that specific word.

#OLTORMD

A second-hand store…
called Raspberry Beret.

👉🏼 #OLTORMD
Out Loud Thoughts
Of RMDietrich

I pronounce tomato as tomato,
and potato as potato.

How about you?

#OLTORMD

This morning, about 5 min before leaving, I spilled 60 ml of warm coffee on my lap.
It didn't burn.

I laughed at myself for being so silly.
Since I was all dressed & ready to go, looking good in black jeans & a dark blue flannel shirt, I didn't change.

I was wearing black pants anyway!

#OLTORMD

I had to itch my left booty cheek,
and I realized I have a really great butt.

#OLTORMD
#PilatesLife #Pilates

Certainly, I'm not the only person who's ever wanted to wear a hospital gown backwards, tied only at the top, run through the halls, pretend to fly while shouting "SUUUPERMAAAAAN!!!", am I?

#OLTORMD

A gourmet seafood restaurant,
called "Afishionados".

#OLTORMD

Today, while assisting a client…

"You look extra handsome today".
Deborah X

K. It was actually her husband,
but the sentiment is appreciated nonetheless.

Hopefully, he includes that in his review.

#OLTORMD

I've always wanted to build a dam,
and name it after god.

#OLTORMD

Do you speak Spanish?

¿Cuando cuentas cuentos cuenta cuántos cuentos cuentas?

#OLTORMD

A boots company
named "Knocking".

#OLTORMD
Out Loud Thoughts
Of RMD

Shouldn't male Starbucks employees be called Baristos?

… That sounds like burritos.

... now I'm craving Mexican food.

#OLTORMD
Out Loud Thoughts Of RMD

When I wake up, I'm starving.
When I'm starving, I overeat.
When I overeat, I nap.
When I wake up…

#OLTORMD

I'm really good at Jeopardy (reruns)!

#OLTORMD

I am a very pleasant person to be around.

...after I've eaten.

#OLTORMD

The key to turning your self around,
is to first do the hokey pokey.

... so, that's what it's all about.

#OLTORMD

The ultimate form of flattery
is somebody using your profile pic to Catfish.

#OLTORMD

If you've heard about me,
I assure you,
only the good stuff is true.

#OLTORMD
Out Loud Thoughts Of
RMDietrich

I actually enjoy the sweet,
therapeutic aroma of skunk.

#OLTORMD

I should start doing "to-do lists".
... I'd put that on the list!

#OLTORMD

There are two types of people in this world:
1. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data

#OLTORMD

Pronouncing &/or spelling
the word awkward
is awkward.

#OLTORMD
Out Loud Thoughts Of RMD