Look, it's not my fault that you left a delicious oatmeal raisin cookie & Hawaiian bread on the counter. How was I to know that raisins are SUPER toxic. I just wanted to come visit everyone at the vets! I had a great time. #$433DollarCookie. #PoorMom #EvilRaisins

I DEFINITELY didn't "crop dust" you with horrific toot smells. Obviously, the leprechaun is hiding under the couch and has eaten something questionable. I am way too cute to make a smell like that. #SuperFunkyMonster
#PoorMom
#DamnLeprechaun

Look, its not my fault that you left a tiny morsel of turkey on a paper plate for me to thieve. Its a toy and a snack in one!! You obviously need more exercise. Your welcome. #ThievingWildMonster #MomsTooTiredForThis #PoorMom
#Dogs