(A teal pen lies across the top of an open journal page upon which, in teal ink, is written:) My kids liked to play "slug bug" when they were younger. But not with me. Because I play a special Southern Illinois variant called "bitch-slap Corolla." Turns out there's a LOT more Corollas out there than you'd think. Sometimes I'd just see a late-model four-door sedan in the distance and get a presumptive slap in. If I'm driving and my passenger is being a bit of an asshole, I'll take the long way. Detour right past the Toyota dealership. I ain't got much spare time, but I'll spend it wisely.

#Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner

Despite threatening, I never did this to my kids. I DID do it in college to break an acquaintance of the #SlugBug habit...

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner #RandomAutomotiveViolence #ItsALWAYSToyotathon