LAST NIGHT'S #StateOfTheDivision PROPAGANDA HOUR: Not comedy.

SLAPPY SQUIRREL FROM "ANIMANIACS": Now THAT'S comedy!

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

I probably could have sat through the #StateOfTheDivision propaganda hour if Triumph the Insult Comic Dog was there shouting "for me to POOP on!" every time King Felonious II lied.

"Members of the United"

WELP THERE'S THE FIRST LIE #StateOfTheDivision

Melania's look literally says everything: I hate everything about this and I hate him, pls send help. #StateOfTheDivision

It's 9:12pm on the East Coast and we haven't started yet. Even his timetable is a lie. #StateOfTheDivision

J. D. Vance looks like that one manager that's fifteen years younger than you but wants you to think that he's the "cool manager" before turning around to become his alter ego, Captain Triestoohard. #StateOfTheDivision

Secretary of Defense Pete Fox & Friends B-String apparently either passed or broke the breathalyzer test to enter the building. #StateOfTheDivision

Marco Rubio has safely dislodged himself from the Oval Office couch.

Unfortunately. #StateOfTheDivision

Remember "Drawn Together?" Remember Princess Clara?

I have a hunch that Marjorie Taylor Greene's gynecologist experiences much the same thing. #StateOfTheDivision

A lovely light smattering of pink more suited to a table centerpiece than standing up for the rights of basically any American who's not a WASP. #StateOfTheDivision

Okay, well, let's get this sh*tshow started. #StateOfTheDivision

PSA: Whatever you do, please do NOT turn tonight's State of the Division address into a drinking game.

Alcohol poisoning is real and you will need to have your stomach pumped. #StateOfTheDivision #NOTStateOfTheUnion