Screenshots of text of a TF drabble, which reads as follows:
Skywarp is purple and mean and ridiculous, all things immediately apparent upon introduction, but something else is also immediately apparent, and Claribelle blurts it out without a thought.
"Bee, you're at, like, dick-sucking height!"
And then she slams a hand over her mouth, mortified. She can already feel the heat radiating off her cheeks.
Bumblebee blinks at her, nonplussed, and Clari has one second, two, to pray that maybe he doesn't know what that means—
But then it throws its helm back and laughs, loud and hard. Clari wishes a hole would open up beneath her feet. He knows.
"What?" Skywarp asks, glowering at it. "What's so funny?" Bumblebee doesn't reply quick enough, still giggling into a servo, and Skywarps sharp gaze snaps to Claribelle. "What does that mean!? Are you insulting me? I could crush you, you little—!"
Bumblebee starts laughing again, but it also places a servo on Skywarp's forearm to tug at her before she can do anything more menacing. Her glower snaps to Bee, and it cuts itself with a theatrical cough, air wheezing out of its vents and intake with a harsh sound. "Calm down, calm down, it's not anything bad!"
"Well, what is it?" Skywarp goes from angry to imploring so fast it almost gives Claribelle whiplash. "What's so funny? I wanna know the joke!"
Bee glances at Clari. For a horrible moment, she expects it to make her explain, but he just cocks a grin at her and looks back up at Skywarp. And then he says the most horrible sentence she has ever heard from its mouth: "How much do you know about organic reproduction?"
Clari makes a noise like a teakettle. Bee doesn't look away from Skywarp, but its grin gains something of an edge to it, sharp amusement.
Skywarp scoffs. "Why would I know anything about that? Humans are gross and squishy and stupid." A glance at Clari. He doesn't rescind the statement. "What's that have to do with anything?"
"It's the joke," Bee says, merciless. Clari covers her entire face with both of her hands. "Biological reproduction typically requires the exchange of strings of data through some kind of liquid medium, right?"
"Uh," Skywarp says, thrown.
"Like, they need to—to exchange data in order to make more humans. That data is transferred via fluid."
"Oh. Okay...?"
"How do you even know this?" Clari bemoans. Her voice is muffled by her hands.
"You're killing your human," Skywarp observes.
"She's fine," Bumblebee dismisses, because it's evil and it hates her. "Anyway, humans expel this liquid data through organs designed for the purpose. Some humans have these organs, called penises—also known as dicks—located right around here," Clari does not look at where Bumblebee is indicating for her own sanity, "and, with enough stimulation, one can get a 'dick' to release the data fluid."
Silence. Claribelle peeks out from between her fingers in time to see Skywarp staring blankly down at Bumblebee. His gaze drops to his pelvic plating, which Bee's helm lines up perfectly with, and then back to Bee. "Huh," she says, but then—something dawns on her. "With their mouths?" She sounds both repulsed and deeply intrigued. "Why?"
"It feels good for them," Bee shrugs, grinning. "It's their version of interfacing. You know, exchanging sensory data to generate a physical response?"
"Ew," Skywarp says reflexively, but she looks more contemplative than grossed out. Her gaze drifts to Claribelle. "Can I see?"
Claribelle wants to die. She wants Bee to turn around and punt her into the exosphere.
Bee, horrible and evil and her worst friend ever, starts laughing again. "Skywarp!" he says, patting the mech in question. "No! It's private! Like interfacing!"
Skywarp huffs, annoyed. "Do they make vids of it, then? I wanna see the dick sucking."
"I do have some vids, I think," Bumblebee admits between chuckles.
Claribelle chokes. "I'm leaving!" she announces loudly. Why does—how does—HUH?? Why does Bee know what human sex is? Why does it have videos of humans having sex!? Why would an alien robot care????
Her racing thoughts are interrupted when Skywarp's optics go wide with a new realization and she practically shouts, "WAIT! THEY SPAWN MORE OF THEM FROM THEIR MOUTHS?" and Bumblebee nearly topples over from the force of its laughter.
educational nsfw text! in a 'verse where cybertronians DONT interface similarly to humans, bee explains what human sex is to skywarp. third image is just to finish off the alt text #transformers #tffic uhhh sure #skywarp #bumblebee whats their ship name uhhh #warpbee #bumblewarp anything is possible
![Nelly!!! [it/she] 🔞](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:wpwu7a2fyvgymxoxmhwphru4/bafkreiaoufzkbm46lheertb3dvec6mofoygadpoqmuc4ox65souyn4zzha)
