Targets reported to have experienced enhanced clarity, surprise cash influx, and spontaneous spiritual upgrades.

Source possibly initiated own shadow awakening and now confused why everything feels weird and "off."
(3/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity

The herb of clarity, success, abundance, protection. Solar-aligned and notoriously pro-blessing. Yes. That one.

That’s like trying to hex someone with a rainbow and then being surprised when their credit score goes up.
(2/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity

⚠️ Timeline of Absurdity™ Patch Note v2025.9.15

[BUG/Undocumented Feature] – The Great Bay Leaf Backfire

Status: Catastrophic Backfire

Notes: During eclipse season, a conservative apparently tried to curse certain liberals using a bay leaf. Yes. A bay leaf.
(1/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity

🚀 Planetary Chaos Report: Retrograde-palooza & Cosmic Shenanigans💫 If life has felt like a confusing, chaotic mess lately, you’re not imagining it. We’re currently caught in the cosmic crossfire of multiple retrogrades, an eclipse aftermath, and an upcoming equino…

🚀 Timeline of Absurdity™ Special: Retrograde-palooza & Cosmic Shenanigans

⚠️ Warning: Multiple Retrogrades in Effect. Proceed with Snacks.

timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/03/19/%...

#TimelineOfAbsurdity #satire #astrologyFun #shenanigans #retrograde